Sunday - Flashback Life Lesson:
I'm gonna keep it real with you coz we're all anonymous. Every now and then, I like going back in time over my life. See here now, just thinking about the lessons I've learned along the way. Just to remind myself, never to make the same mistake again. And since we're all anonymous here, lemme just bare out some thoughts i be thinking to myself. Maybe it'll help somebody.
Back in Dec 2010, I was visiting Nairobi. The next friday, my friends/cuzos and I were at a joint that's no longer around on Lang'ata Road. Used to be called Reminisce ...dude, I loved that joint.
So we were chilling. Rounds of beer, nyake, mshikakiz, flowing when my tipsy eyes noticed this round booty wiggling. Aki ya mama.
She had on tight blue jeans. Wiggling her booty on the dance floor as Mike Murimi sang his crazy songs. Me Wazua aki walahi, I was seeing doubles
. She had the roundest, sexiest booty I ever seen.
.
So munde si punde, or is it punde si munde ...anyway being the dude i am and with a few heinekens in my blood stream...I walked to that dance floor jo. I eazeed myself behind her wiggling booty as the song played (fellas mnajua how we do)
...just slyyyde in there
.
Lo &Behold she turned around and smiled at a brotha. Said ati her name was
Wambui 
. Bruh, I should have walked away right there ....sema kufanywa hypnosis na rasa
Man! Make a long storo short she gave me her number, but refused to go home with me that night. Which i respected.
A week later I called her up and we met at the same spot. Friday night, this time she brought her girl friend over. Duuuude! GF was fyyyyyyyne! unaskia jo? Fyyyyyyne.
After the club, kidu 2am everyone was tipsy and I drove 'em over to my apartment....blah, blah, blah...fast forward a week later.
She invites me to her place on Thika Road, and we did it there too.
In the same bed she shared with her huzzy. Yaani we'd just boink boink 24/7 jo ...booooink boink walahi.
Turned out the fyyyn gf became jealous over her friend being with me 'coz she was married'. Make a long a story short, she contacts my chic's hubby who worked in Saudi Arabia and tells him ati his wife is being boinked by a certain dude.
Dude flies down to Nairobi same time as I catch a flight to U.S.A. We miss each other by minutes. Upon arriving in U.S, my mum who was here asks me "Kai Mburu Wina Ngoma?" translated to "nigga son, i'ma kill you!".
It turns out
Wamboi's hubby sumhow traced my mum's number. To this day, i suspect he bribed my cuzo Kimani to give her my mum's number. Long story short big ass wambui's husband told my mum everything. Waaazua semeni mathe kutoa mayoe. She chewed me out dude.
Later i talked to
wamboi's huzzy, and explained to him his wife told me they were divorcing. He said he's looking for me he kills me himself. I was told he carries a pic of me in his wallet, ati the day we'll meet... I felt very guilty about the whole thing man.
So i learned huge HUUUUUUUGE lesson brotha ...One that has carried me to 2019. I don't mess with married chics man...if she's married, dude i don't even come near. I don't even wanna be friends. Nooo I want nothing to do with her.
And you should stay away too, if u value your life otherwise utakufa bure man. IT'S NOT WORTH IT! Even if diabz imefika lokichoggio MAN...no nooooo staki!
#WachaTakoNendaZako