1.There will be no Bouncers. Most Lunjes are Watchies, they can provide their own security
2.Lunjes Please don't come with your Radios. Music will be provided by the DJs.
3.There will be Pole dancing, only in this time the Poles will be sugarcane.
4.Ladies with Huge skwembes get free entry before 11 pm.
5.A question to Carnivore KE: "can Mulembe Night be moved to somewhere along Jogoo road?" That would be appropriate.
6.Please practice the national anthem by Redsan "Who's the chicken now"
7.Ladies, don't talk about "Mascara" that to Lunjes means Many cigarattes.
8.whoever knows the answer to "Why the chicken crossed the road?" gets a bicycle.
9.LUNJE: kwani hii kuku imetoka Turgana? WAITER: Kwa nini? LUNJE: igo na mavuta mingi sana..
10.Be specific when you order "COCKTAIL". It might mean a completely different thing.
N/B: All Cars are parked at owners' risk. Only Bicycles will be attended to....
Annddd…
11. Don’t fear for your security, all watchmen will be in carnivore.
12. Chai Ikijoma Sana Wapi Nduruu wewee!!!" Shall be the d-jaying effect of the night.
13. Any other bicycle other than the Black Mamba will be towed.
14. Langata road has been officially renamed Jogoo Road for today!!!
15. All salamz will be limited to 140 characters...this is just for intro before he even starts mentioning names!
16. If u trink hot chai straight from tha sufuria u will get a jance to win an i-von.
17. Leo tunakula ingokho ya KFC = Kakameka Fried Chicken
18. LUNJE: Hii kuku ilipikania Uhuru ya Kenya? WAITER: Hapana. LUNJE: Si uongeze basi!
19. Funga mulango wasitoke. Nani ameipa pump ya baiskeli yangu pwana?
20. Official Playlist: Boda Boda, Who is the Chicken Now, Ningekua jogoo jogoo..KANU DAMU!