C&P



I asked my new girlfriend what sort of books she's interested in,
she said: Cheque books.

* The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the
prices of new car.

* What is the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into
men when they drink.

* What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.

* Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute
and then expects your pulse to be normal.

* Boss: We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on
the mat as you came in? New employee: Yes, sir.
Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat.

* Q: Why dogs don't marry?


A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!

* Q: What's the diff between mother & wife? A: One woman brings you
into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.

* Santa enters kitchen, opens sugar container, looks inside and
closes it. He does this again and again. Why?


Because his Doctor told him to check sugar level regularly.

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

Never take life seriously.