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Rank: New-farer Joined: 6/7/2010 Posts: 52 Location: mumu humu
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Speaking of the Joneses,haven't you heard,they are having a hard time keeping up with themselves these days.
When it comes to marriage & kids my policy remains steadfastly simple;don't,and er,well,don't bother.May be I keep all the wrong company but am afraid all married folk I know work harder to cheat on their spouses than anything else I ever see them do.Then they turn around and tell me that it really is time I got myself a wife,pledging hefty cash rewards+participation.
What can I say,its equivalent to rooting for virginity by having sex,isn't it?
Guess we're not all cut out for it,starting with yours truely.
Relatives,. . .nothing a short,sharp,lash about the state of their own sorry unions can't solve,and a brief discourse on how the race is not about to go extinct on account of your insignificant reproductive status.. . .plenty of cash helps too.
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Rank: New-farer Joined: 6/7/2010 Posts: 52 Location: mumu humu
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If you don't have time to be with those of your issue,kindly desist from reproducing;its the proper thing to do-I've done it all my 34 or so years,and intend to keep it that way.Be fair to others,not irresponsible family men,who seem to be the rule here.
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Rank: New-farer Joined: 6/7/2010 Posts: 52 Location: mumu humu
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Youwillbestoppedanyway,
What groupielove was saying,I think,is that your "alternative method of making marriage work" is somewhat far-fetched,unrealistic,cosmetic & irrelevant to his/her circumstance,and that you oughta quit that horridious highnose-blah blah as it really isn't the in-thing to conform to all that femme-jazz you preach,and that while he/she will keep the 'phone/laptop',he/she's uninterested in your 'Western philosophy of marriages' lecture,seeing as its borrowed from places exceeding 70% in matters divorce.
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 7/8/2008 Posts: 947
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sky5 wrote:@Tony Stark. I think it is unfair for one to use sex (the denial of it) as a weapon. This is manipulative and should never be encouraged. This is not what I meant. I agree that sex should be dished out regularly. I was advocating for self control where circumstances dictate it.
Regarding the question of whether I am a woman, what do you think? Read my lips. My apologies. I should have looked at your profile and previous posts.
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Rank: Member Joined: 12/7/2009 Posts: 320 Location: nairobi
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sky5 wrote:@Tony Stark. I think it is unfair for one to use sex (the denial of it) as a weapon. This is manipulative and should never be encouraged. This is not what I meant. I agree that sex should be dished out regularly. I was advocating for self control where circumstances dictate it.
Regarding the question of whether I am a woman, what do you think? Read my lips. She is a woman, that is why she is advocating for self control.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/19/2008 Posts: 4,268
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Good people, we all express love differently.... Understand your spouse/partner/girlfriend/boyfriend/parents/siblings/children because they all understand love in different ways.
For example, i dont remember my father telling me he loves me and i dont even doubt his love for me or any of my siblings.. he has different other ways of expressing his love to us and we do understand. My mom only told us she loves us after thoroughly beating us and i think she must have felt guilty and would later tells us "you know i love you very much and i hate beating you up but i have to beat the "mistake" out of you"! hehehehehe... Of course i would have loved they told me more often. Actually even for me, it is a deliberate effort that i have decided to take to tell them that i do love them and you can see they are happy to hear it but it wont come from them.... but i dont confuse their not saying that they love me any less.
Personally, i tell my son i love him every day even if i am out of town but that does not mean that we keep the rod any further than it should be. He does understand (I hope) that despite loving him alot, we have my duties to do as parents and this includes maintaining the discipline whenever the situation calls for it. The fact that you tell your children or spouse you love them shouldnt mean the family rules will not be followed or anyone will be taken for granted. Same as siblings. You let them know you love them and you support them, but you also have your limits on what you expect of them. That the fact that you said you love them, shouldnt mean that they have the right to cross your boundaries. I think its what obama would call "tough love"...
Dont confuse loving your family with irresponsible parenthood.
"Tell" your family you love them in the language they understand..... If you are genuine, they definitely will pick it... There is no right or wrong way to show your love. Show it to them the way you know how to and the way they understand it but by all means, show it. Its not a weakness.
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Rank: Member Joined: 12/7/2009 Posts: 320 Location: nairobi
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AMEN, wendz. Let those who say 'I Love yous to continue if that makes their family unite and happy. For those who dont believe in the words, you also continue your way. njia ya kufika mbinguni ni mingi.
As for me i believe in the magic words
Thank you
I love you
I am sorry
Forgive me
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Rank: Chief Joined: 3/24/2010 Posts: 6,779 Location: Black Africa
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Ric Dees, just wondering, would you beat your child if he/she is in the wrong? Or do you believe in the very ineffective "timeouts"? GOD BLESS YOUR LIFE
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Rank: New-farer Joined: 6/18/2010 Posts: 95
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@Ric Dees as your name suggests you are an mentally colonized African self hater. You preach all this western crap about touchy feeling relationships. Kids in the west are indulged in by their parents, they are told they are special, are never seriously punished and are spoilt to the hilt. They have no respect for authority or loyalty to family members.
How many of them wazungus u worship so much, tell me they haven't seen their parents, siblings for years? How many of them live absurd lives of marital break up after break up because they have not been told that life is not about being special, but all about taking responsibility. Learning about marriage and family life from Americans is like going to hell to be trained how to make it into heaven.
Poor dumbass Africans running to become Americans who are the worst example ever. America has the highest family violence rate, divorce rate, child sexual abuse rate, and pre-teen and teen suicide rate in the world. I have seen suicide manic depression pathology among five year olds?
This touchy feeling BS does not work. Grown men hugging (full frontal)their teen daughters only leads to sex abuse of those girls. Rotten kids produce rotten families and the society goes down. I know a lot about American family life coz I'm a school teacher here in the US and I've seen enough to know that our grandfathers were right.
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 4/16/2010 Posts: 906 Location: Nairobi
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I'm still a young man trying to figure all this relationship stuff out. I can tell you a few things I have learned over the years:
- Marriage is a partnership. However, you have people preaching the fallacy that it is an equal partnership. Equality is a flawed ideal. For a successful partnership, you must have a hierarchy.
- Also, there must be a NEED being fulfilled in the partnership. If there is no tangible NEED for the other party, then there is no reason to stick it out through thick and thin.
To explain my reasoning, I can use an analogy of a cart and a horse:
Cart + horse = efficiency
cart + cart = stagnation
horse + horse = race
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