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Child custody - married parents
Rank: Elder Joined: 9/19/2015 Posts: 2,871 Location: hapo
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tnai9 wrote:alma1 wrote:
Even for those families that have the same parents, do you know what it means for only one child to get shoes and others don't?
Are you being serious?
In fact, if I were ever the judge in the case, I'd insist on visitations with an adult present. Clearly he's not an adult.
This is not a tribe issue. This is a parenting issue. Real men know their limits. Bullying your way into another man's house is out of limits whatever tribe you are.
eisshhh
he buys a phone, shoes, what next Kentucky Fried chicken every night?
He's lost that kid so let him suffer the consequences of his madharau.
He bought shoes because he found the girl with torn shoes, toes/socks protruding. Can we look at this objectively..What would other people do in such a situation? I suppose it was for the comfort of the child and not necessarily to show off. And the other family is also not poor, maybe just struggling a bit. I think the biological father is getting a bit condemned too much No one is condemning the biological father. We are saying that there's more to this story than you are telling. I'm sure of the lady came here with her side, there shall be fireworks. I'm just noting your language You casually assume that giving a child shoes and phones is a tiny thing. It isn't. You have mentioned a number of times "maybe just struggling a bit" I haven't seen anywhere where "your friend" is concerned about the emotional growth of that child....Just money money money... Pole sana...Money ain't everything especially when it comes to children. When you started the story I was on your side because of course a biological father must have rights to their kids. The more you talked, the more I understood why even that lady who's a luhya has decided that the man is a lunatic. Hata Swenani can understand huyu sio mluhya kamili. Iko kasoro na huyu jamaa. Maybe he got some money last year akaanza maringo. After all, why the sudden change when before the family was willing to let him be with the child. Then he got some dollars sasa ameanza kuletea watoto mobile phone. From what I've seen, your case is not a normal case. Your's is a case of a very bitter fellow who's trying to use money to get something he lost years ago... Let him call the luhya elders sit down with them and discuss the issue like men and women...Hii mambo ya court is a useless path. He can save the lawyer fees for an account at equity bank. Thieves are not good people. Tumeelewana?
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Rank: User Joined: 8/15/2013 Posts: 13,237 Location: Vacuum
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tnai9 wrote:alma1 wrote:
Even for those families that have the same parents, do you know what it means for only one child to get shoes and others don't?
Are you being serious?
In fact, if I were ever the judge in the case, I'd insist on visitations with an adult present. Clearly he's not an adult.
This is not a tribe issue. This is a parenting issue. Real men know their limits. Bullying your way into another man's house is out of limits whatever tribe you are.
eisshhh
he buys a phone, shoes, what next Kentucky Fried chicken every night?
He's lost that kid so let him suffer the consequences of his madharau.
He bought shoes because he found the girl with torn shoes, toes/socks protruding. Can we look at this objectively..What would other people do in such a situation? I suppose it was for the comfort of the child and not necessarily to show off. And the other family is also not poor, maybe just struggling a bit. I think the biological father is getting a bit condemned too much This is a useless Luhya man, please send him to me, He should go take his seed....Distance parenting and step father parenting doesnt apply in Luhya land we only have step mothers, brothers and sisters but never step fathers!...Achukue mtoto akae naye ama apelekee mama If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/28/2015 Posts: 9,562 Location: Rodi Kopany, Homa Bay
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tnai9 wrote:hardwood wrote:
I thought huko western when the X gets married to someone else, the woman does not go with the kids but the man remains with the kids who he raises alone (or with his sisters or mother) and if he remarries then raises with his new wife. So the kids will be raised by the dad and step mum. Which basically means that raising a kid is a father's job.
This mostly happens for unemployed ladies who are unable to provide for the kids. This lady is employed and has never accepted to release the girl to the father, coz of special attachment. I understand she would put her current marriage on the line to have custody of her daughter. If the man was luhya enough he wouldn't have allowed his kid to go and be raised by another man. Strange that he is discovering his luhya-ness now and following his kid to another mans house, and then only taking partial responsibility - fees, shoes, phone. If he was man enough he should have taken his kid and provided for her 100% as per his abaluhya culture, not being a nuisance to another family. #Useless man.
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 11/13/2015 Posts: 1,654
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tnai9 wrote:These sentiments have been very informative. The guy is compromising and is aware his demands for custody may never see light immediately. His greatest problem is being denied access to his daughter. Further, the girl has been transferred secretly to another school and his worry is even if they left the country, he wouldn't know. I'd be worried too.
He had been seeing the girl regularly in school and there is a bond between them, and the daughter knows him as his real father, and knows the other as his step father. They are not in talking terms with the X's hubby, and the X lately has cut links. He now doesn't know the school the daughter is in and is investigating.
So immediately, the guy wants access to the daughter. He says one day he went to school and found the daughter with torn shoes, took her to a shop and bought her shoes. Later he learned the girl had to hide the shoes and had to put them on much later because it would bring issues btn her mum and the foster father. This he was told by the teacher to the girl. The girl is top performing and is a favorite of teachers. The whole issue is a mess because her former teacher knew a bit of these details. There is something called "daddy issues" which your friend seems clueless about. His X must have had a dominant mother and emasculated father. Your friend is also weak/emasculated which his X has been trying to run away from. The fact the X allowed him to walk in on her cheating was just a way of showing your friend that he is weak. She found a dominant man who dealt with her daddy issue but your friend does not seem to get into his thick head. He is so weak he has to run to court to sort out straight forward custody issues. He is now giving his daughter the same daddy issues. When that daughter is in her teens you will see fireworks. The best thing for him to do right now is walk away and wait for the daughter to come to him at the right age.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 2/8/2013 Posts: 4,068 Location: At Large.
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tnai9 wrote:These sentiments have been very informative. The guy is compromising and is aware his demands for custody may never see light immediately. His greatest problem is being denied access to his daughter. Further, the girl has been transferred secretly to another school and his worry is even if they left the country, he wouldn't know. I'd be worried too.
He had been seeing the girl regularly in school and there is a bond between them, and the daughter knows him as his real father, and knows the other as his step father. They are not in talking terms with the X's hubby, and the X lately has cut links. He now doesn't know the school the daughter is in and is investigating.
So immediately, the guy wants access to the daughter. He says one day he went to school and found the daughter with torn shoes, took her to a shop and bought her shoes. Later he learned the girl had to hide the shoes and had to put them on much later because it would bring issues btn her mum and the foster father. This he was told by the teacher to the girl. The girl is top performing and is a favorite of teachers. The whole issue is a mess because her former teacher knew a bit of these details. This are exactly the issues we are talking about!The fool wants to look bigger and more monied than the step dad.How torn were this shoes?We all have that one day that a shoe got torn and had not been repaired or a new one bought.No wonder they are cutting of links if this is what he does when he goes to see her in school. Why not send money to the mum to buy the shoes.She should live like the other kids in the house. Being a top performer am sure he wants all the association he can get with this girl.But the way he is behaving he will mess her up and its just a matter of time before she sinks into depression. I think going foward let him send money to the mum for whatever purchases needed.(The mum should also be open to new hubby about it.) Let them agree to be meeting in an open place(Church,mall etc )with the other kids for him to meet his daughter. There should never be private bonding time.He has ulterior motives. Love is beautiful and so are those who share it.With Love, Marriage is an amazing event in ones life time, the foundation of joy, happiness and success.
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Rank: Member Joined: 6/21/2010 Posts: 345 Location: easto
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alma1 wrote:
The more you talked, the more I understood why even that lady who's a luhya has decided that the man is a lunatic. Hata Swenani can understand huyu sio mluhya kamili.
Iko kasoro na huyu jamaa.
Maybe he got some money last year akaanza maringo. After all, why the sudden change when before the family was willing to let him be with the child.
Then he got some dollars sasa ameanza kuletea watoto mobile phone.
Let me say this, he is these guys who change employers a bit frequently and has therefore had his salary increasing and he is moving up. There has been detailed analysis here but some based on assumptions. He says the X didn't really hold him in high esteem when they were dating coz she thought the guy would remain poor. Thinks its a first love. So she is sticking on the dota to punish him so I hear, coz he refused to marry her. The X named the dota such that her 1st name starts with the same letter like his X. So clearly there are issues here... The X's hubby has never entertained the two talking, this lady would secretly to tell this guy where to meet the daughter, but they were think discovered and this brought real issues. So currently my guy has no sources of information about the daughter, even the X has cut off. Its a forest "The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence." ― Charles Bukowski
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Rank: User Joined: 8/15/2013 Posts: 13,237 Location: Vacuum
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tnai9 wrote:alma1 wrote:
The more you talked, the more I understood why even that lady who's a luhya has decided that the man is a lunatic. Hata Swenani can understand huyu sio mluhya kamili.
Iko kasoro na huyu jamaa.
Maybe he got some money last year akaanza maringo. After all, why the sudden change when before the family was willing to let him be with the child.
Then he got some dollars sasa ameanza kuletea watoto mobile phone.
Let me say this, he is these guys who change employers a bit frequently and has therefore had his salary increasing and he is moving up. There has been detailed analysis here but some based on assumptions. He says the X didn't really hold him in high esteem when they were dating coz she thought the guy would remain poor. Thinks its a first love. So she is sticking on the dota to punish him so I hear, coz he refused to marry her. The X named the dota such that her 1st name starts with the same letter like his X. So clearly there are issues here... The X's hubby has never entertained the two talking, this lady would secretly to tell this guy where to meet the daughter, but they were think discovered and this brought real issues. So currently my guy has no sources of information about the daughter, even the X has cut off. Its a forest This also describes your guy's life skills.....clueless!  If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
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Rank: Elder Joined: 9/19/2015 Posts: 2,871 Location: hapo
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Swenani wrote:tnai9 wrote:alma1 wrote:
The more you talked, the more I understood why even that lady who's a luhya has decided that the man is a lunatic. Hata Swenani can understand huyu sio mluhya kamili.
Iko kasoro na huyu jamaa.
Maybe he got some money last year akaanza maringo. After all, why the sudden change when before the family was willing to let him be with the child.
Then he got some dollars sasa ameanza kuletea watoto mobile phone.
Let me say this, he is these guys who change employers a bit frequently and has therefore had his salary increasing and he is moving up. There has been detailed analysis here but some based on assumptions. He says the X didn't really hold him in high esteem when they were dating coz she thought the guy would remain poor. Thinks its a first love. So she is sticking on the dota to punish him so I hear, coz he refused to marry her. The X named the dota such that her 1st name starts with the same letter like his X. So clearly there are issues here... The X's hubby has never entertained the two talking, this lady would secretly to tell this guy where to meet the daughter, but they were think discovered and this brought real issues. So currently my guy has no sources of information about the daughter, even the X has cut off. Its a forest This also describes your guy's life skills.....clueless! I now believe this is a made up story at one of those media houses. Someone looking for a juicy story for the weekend. Huyu jamaaa ana ringa sana that he pays fees but can't seem to find out where his kid is? Where do they stay? Where does the wife work? Where does the husband of the wife work? Where do the other kids go to school? Ama aliens took them? Kweli huyu jamaa ni jinga ya aina gani? This is a fake story...And thanks tnai9 you made wazua fun for a few days. Thieves are not good people. Tumeelewana?
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/28/2015 Posts: 9,562 Location: Rodi Kopany, Homa Bay
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Bigchick wrote:tnai9 wrote:These sentiments have been very informative. The guy is compromising and is aware his demands for custody may never see light immediately. His greatest problem is being denied access to his daughter. Further, the girl has been transferred secretly to another school and his worry is even if they left the country, he wouldn't know. I'd be worried too.
He had been seeing the girl regularly in school and there is a bond between them, and the daughter knows him as his real father, and knows the other as his step father. They are not in talking terms with the X's hubby, and the X lately has cut links. He now doesn't know the school the daughter is in and is investigating.
So immediately, the guy wants access to the daughter. He says one day he went to school and found the daughter with torn shoes, took her to a shop and bought her shoes. Later he learned the girl had to hide the shoes and had to put them on much later because it would bring issues btn her mum and the foster father. This he was told by the teacher to the girl. The girl is top performing and is a favorite of teachers. The whole issue is a mess because her former teacher knew a bit of these details. This are exactly the issues we are talking about!The fool wants to look bigger and more monied than the step dad.How torn were this shoes?We all have that one day that a shoe got torn and had not been repaired or a new one bought.No wonder they are cutting of links if this is what he does when he goes to see her in school. Why not send money to the mum to buy the shoes.She should live like the other kids in the house. Being a top performer am sure he wants all the association he can get with this girl.But the way he is behaving he will mess her up and its just a matter of time before she sinks into depression. I think going foward let him send money to the mum for whatever purchases needed.(The mum should also be open to new hubby about it.) Let them agree to be meeting in an open place(Church,mall etc )with the other kids for him to meet his daughter. There should never be private bonding time.He has ulterior motives. No no no. No man should ever send money to another man's wife eti to take care of just one kid in the family. Also there's no court that would rule that you send money to someones wife eti to take care of your biological child. So this money thing is just absurd. Kwani hawo watoto wengine hawakuli au kusoma?
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Rank: Member Joined: 6/21/2010 Posts: 345 Location: easto
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alma1 wrote:I now believe this is a made up story at one of those media houses. Someone looking for a juicy story for the weekend. Huyu jamaaa ana ringa sana that he pays fees but can't seem to find out where his kid is? Where do they stay? Where does the wife work? Where does the husband of the wife work? Where do the other kids go to school? Ama aliens took them? Kweli huyu jamaa ni jinga ya aina gani? This is a fake story...And thanks tnai9 you made wazua fun for a few days. @Alma The guy has some friends CIDs etc and think is in the process of establishing where the girl has been transferred to. This is a true story, in fact I have given a lot of private info about him without his permission. He says the several times he has mpesad the X, the hubby calls shortly later to abuse him and ask why he is sending his wife money. He knows where they stay but not the specific hse, he knows where the X works but of course cant call her, either the call is not picked or the X's hubby picks and throws insults. He is planning on going to her place of work. So you can imagine the situation...as I said its a forest "The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence." ― Charles Bukowski
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