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can todays marriage be happy marriage?
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MaichBlack
#71 Posted : Wednesday, April 13, 2011 9:30:04 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 7/22/2009
Posts: 7,895
waridi1 wrote:
famooz wrote:
[quote=waridi1]

is @ waridi giving @ Petro 'NATO' status now? Laughing out loudly Ama what do you mean by no 90 day rule?


Ati? Famooz, NATO status ni nini? If it's what I think it is, no.. I'm just trying to see how the man thinks. Petro08 was given "advice" by User; I'm just curious as to what he'll do with it.

When a person has NATO status, it means he can bomb in self interest. Get it? If NATO believes their interests will be served by bombing a given country, they go ahead and bomb them to smithereens. It doesn't matter what the interest of the country - or in this case airport - are!

What @famooz is wondering is if your question especially on the 90 day rule is hinting that if @petro feels it is in his interest to bomb [you know who] then he can go ahead and send his tomahawks.
Never count on making a good sale. Have the purchase price be so attractive that even a mediocre sale gives good returns.
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nostoppingthis
#72 Posted : Wednesday, April 13, 2011 9:46:46 AM
Rank: Chief

Joined: 8/24/2009
Posts: 5,909
Location: Nairobi
waridi1 wrote:
petro08 wrote:
@Waridi1, Peppy and Wendz,

Thank you very much. You have added so much value to this thread. I feel like I have had a session with a marriage counselor. Your information is of much value to anyone who is serious about a stable marriage.

@Waridi1. I am single and searching.

@User. Sorry but I now have a reason to drop your advise. At least the three ladies have persuaded me to do so.


Why can I only write one post per hour? I've seen some interesting stuff that I can't comment on..

Anyway.

Thanks @Carygoh.

@Petro08, thanks for your kind words. So you're single and searching... evidently you haven't found what you're looking for.. please forgive me for being so blunt. Please lay your cards on the table tuone:

May I ask what exactly you're searching for, and why? How will you know and what will you do when you have found? Where are you going and why should anyone want to come along? And how old are you anyways?

Lol, I almost feel like putting (20 Marks). Sorry to be so KNEC on you.

PS: So what do you think about User's advice, fast and furious "kandahar bombing" and no 90 day rule?

@petro08, go the Kongowea and famooz way....answer the questions with precision and accuracy...
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Genghis Khan
#73 Posted : Wednesday, April 13, 2011 10:00:31 AM
Rank: Member

Joined: 8/5/2010
Posts: 335
Location: Nairobi
Jus Blazin wrote:
@Genghis, love is actually a verb. Its action - oriented.

I am happily married. I've come to understand there's a difference between what I need to feel and what I need to do.


Love is a verb when you use it as a verb and a noun when you use it as a noun...

EXAMPLES
Because I love my mother, I go to church when she tells me. - VERB.

It is because of the love that i have for my mother that I go to church when she tells me. - NOUN

You can do that with many English words. Kizungu works like that.

However, I understand what you are saying and I actually mostly concur...

My point is that our lives depend more on our own values & decisions rather than our enviroment...
"I'd rather be lucky than clever... every time!" - ME
"The problem is not what we don't know... it's what we know for sure that just ain't!" - MARK TWAIN
"Space we can recover... time never!" - NAPOLEON BONAPARTE
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Genghis Khan
#74 Posted : Wednesday, April 13, 2011 10:17:36 AM
Rank: Member

Joined: 8/5/2010
Posts: 335
Location: Nairobi
MaichBlack wrote:
Advice to wazua men:[/b] One thing I have realized, if you have female friends - no monkey business - just pure friendship - with ladies, then you are going to learn so much stuff, you will not believe it.



Insider trading! Am all for it... I could use the help!!!
"I'd rather be lucky than clever... every time!" - ME
"The problem is not what we don't know... it's what we know for sure that just ain't!" - MARK TWAIN
"Space we can recover... time never!" - NAPOLEON BONAPARTE
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Marty
#75 Posted : Wednesday, April 13, 2011 11:03:18 AM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 3/31/2008
Posts: 761
Location: Nairobi
Genghis Khan wrote:
MaichBlack wrote:
Advice to wazua men:[/b] One thing I have realized, if you have female friends - no monkey business - just pure friendship - with ladies, then you are going to learn so much stuff, you will not believe it.



Insider trading! Am all for it... I could use the help!!!


Interesting scenario when u have a lady friend and she is more comfortable discussing some issues with you that she cannot even discuss with their husband / boyfriend. And ours is just pure friendship....
When I admire the wonder of a sunset or the beauty
of the moon, my soul expands in worship of the Creator.
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nostoppingthis
#76 Posted : Wednesday, April 13, 2011 12:26:33 PM
Rank: Chief

Joined: 8/24/2009
Posts: 5,909
Location: Nairobi
Marty wrote:
Genghis Khan wrote:
MaichBlack wrote:
Advice to wazua men:[/b] One thing I have realized, if you have female friends - no monkey business - just pure friendship - with ladies, then you are going to learn so much stuff, you will not believe it.



Insider trading! Am all for it... I could use the help!!!


Interesting scenario when u have a lady friend and she is more comfortable discussing some issues with you that she cannot even discuss with their husband / boyfriend. And ours is just pure friendship....


Emotional cheating....
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2012
#77 Posted : Wednesday, April 13, 2011 12:35:17 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 12/9/2009
Posts: 6,592
Location: Nairobi
Marty wrote:
Interesting scenario when u have a lady friend and she is more comfortable discussing some issues with you that she cannot even discuss with their husband / boyfriend


Give an example of one or two such issues?
Here's some advice, if there's an issue you can't discuss with your boyfriend or husband then don't tell it to another man unless he's your pastor. You can tell your girlfriend but not another dude if you want your relationship to last.

BBI will solve it :)
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Marty
#78 Posted : Wednesday, April 13, 2011 1:43:56 PM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 3/31/2008
Posts: 761
Location: Nairobi
2012 wrote:
Marty wrote:
Interesting scenario when u have a lady friend and she is more comfortable discussing some issues with you that she cannot even discuss with their husband / boyfriend


Give an example of one or two such issues?
Here's some advice, if there's an issue you can't discuss with your boyfriend or husband then don't tell it to another man unless he's your pastor. You can tell your girlfriend but not another dude if you want your relationship to last.


Examples nope, they could be too specific. Of course having been married for yrs I know it is a consequence of poor communication between her and the husband, so my advise for her is to discuss issues with her significant other. It is a no brainer that if I encourage her to expose sensitive issues to me, of course it will be emotional cheating so am against it. Am not a pastor neither a qualified counsellor.
When I admire the wonder of a sunset or the beauty
of the moon, my soul expands in worship of the Creator.
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Dia
#79 Posted : Friday, April 15, 2011 9:43:18 AM
Rank: Member

Joined: 3/30/2010
Posts: 176
This is rather long but I thought it fits in well here....

Marriage is at its best when both parties can be [i]naked-vulnerable with each other-and not be ashamed. There is no resting place for the man who has to hide in his own house.

In the Garden, God asked Adam,” Where are you?” And Adam displayed the tendency of most men to avoid open confrontation when he confessed:
(1) I heard your voice,
(2) I was afraid,
(3) I was naked, and (
4) I hid myself see Genesis 3:9, 10.
When you become confrontational, it’s not that your husband doesn’t hear you. It’s just that when he is afraid of exposure, he has a tendency to hide. Marriage should be transparent. Both you and your spouse need to be able to confess your weaknesses without fear or condemnation.

Woe to the man who has no place to lay his head.
Let’s stop by Delilah’s place (see Judges 16:4-20). Most women would not want to stop at her house, most men would. Most men are not afraid of Delilah; most women don’t like her at all. Her morals are inexcusable, but her methods are worth discussing.

There are some things that every wife could learn, must learn from Delilah.
What was so powerful about this woman?
What was it that caused the Philistine government to put her on their payroll because of what she knew about men?
What was it that captured the attention of Israel’s mighty man, Samson, and kept him coming back to her bed when he knew all along that she was trying to kill him? He could not leave her alone. It was an Old Testament “Fatal Attraction”.

If your husband is in a high-stress position-if he’s powerful and full of purpose, the envy of everyone around-you need to learn from Delilah. Where can the mighty man can lay his head?
Where can he be vulnerable?
Where can he take off his armor and rest for a few hours?
Is your home a peaceful place?
Is it clean and neat, warm and inviting?
If not, Delilah’s place is ready.

I’m sure she has her own problems, but Samson doesn’t have to solve them the minute he walks in the door. She knows he’s tired after fighting with the enemy all day, so she says, “Come, lay your head in my lap”.

Delilah knows that all men are little boys somewhere deep inside. They are little boys who started their lives being touched by women. A woman sang your husband’s first lullaby with her silky voice. A woman gave him his first bath and, when he was tired, he laid his weary head against her warm breast and went to sleep. A woman talked to him and touched him and made him feel safe –not criticized, not ostracized, just safe.

Men respond to praise. Praise will make a weary man perform. A woman who knows what to say to a man is difficult to turn down. For all your husband’s tears and all his fears, he needs your arms, your voice, and your song.

By Bishop T.D. Jakes
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Mwende
#80 Posted : Friday, April 15, 2011 10:05:07 AM
Rank: Member

Joined: 7/29/2009
Posts: 217
Well, for me happiness starts in bed, once this area is well taken care of, the other aspects fall into place but with a some efforts and respect for each other.

I received this list from my maid of honor during my wedding shower & its become my close companion thus far: (number zero ni yangu lakini Laughing out loudly

50 Promises For Marriage:

0. Have lots & lots of s3x, whenever wherever
1. Start each day with a kiss.
2. Wear your wedding ring at all times.
3. Date once a week.
4. Accept differences.
5. Be polite.
6. Be gentle.
7. Give gifts.
8. Smile often.
9. Touch.
10. Talk about dreams.
11. Select a song that can be "our song".
12. Give back rubs.
13. Laugh together.
14. Send a card for no reason.
15. Do what the other person wants before he or she asks.
16. Listen.
17. Encourage.
18. Do it his or her way.
19. Know his or her needs.
20. Fix the other person's breakfast.
21. Compliment twice a day.
22. Call during the day.
23. Slow down.
24. Hold hands.
25. Cuddle.
26. Ask for each other's opinion.
27. Show respect.
28. Welcome the other person home.
29. Look your best.
30. Wink at each other.
31. Celebrate birthdays in a big way.
32. Apologize.
33. Forgive.
34. Set up a romantic getaway.
35. Ask, "What can I do to make you happier?".
36. Be positive.
37. Be kind.
38. Be vulnerable.
39. Respond quickly to the other person's request.
40. Talk about your love.
41. Reminisce about your favorite times together.
42. Treat each other's friends and relatives with courtesy.
43. Send flowers every Valentine's day and anniversary.
44. Admit when wrong.
45. Be sensitive to each other's sexual desires.
46. Pray for each other daily.
47. Watch sunsets together.
48. Say, "I love you" frequently.
49. End the day with a hug.
50. Seek outside help when needed.

...hold me in your arms, like that Spanish guitar… all night long!!!
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