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Just for laughs...corner
vinii
#751 Posted : Monday, July 18, 2011 11:40:53 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 10/14/2009
Posts: 2,057
This one knocked me out!!!!




Found on the Refrigerator One Morning

My Dear Wife

You will surely understand that I have certain
needs that you,

being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value
you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this
letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret
the fact that I will be spending the evening with my
18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel.
Please don't be upset ........
I shall be home before midnight.

When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter
on the dining room table:









My Dear Husband

I received your letter and thank you for your
honesty about my being 54 years old. I would
like to take this opportunity to remind you that
you are also 54 years old. As you know,I am
a math teacher at our local college. I would like
to inform you that while you read this, I will
be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also
the Assistant Tennis Coach.
He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is
18 years old. As a successful businessman who
has an excellent knowledge of math, you will understand that we are in
the same situation,
although with one small difference -
18 goes into 54 a lot more times than
54 goes into 18.
So I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.
If you are an eagle don't hang around with chickens; chickens don't fly....
nostoppingthis
#752 Posted : Wednesday, July 20, 2011 12:43:15 PM
Rank: Chief

Joined: 8/24/2009
Posts: 5,909
Location: Nairobi
Now this has malizad me.....In a matatu a jeng guy..... "Dere, hebu sukisa hapo sell gas steson".... People BURST out lauging & a Kiuk guy wiping tears from his eyes struggles to talk but still chuckling ati "Eeehhhh.....Dugu yagu...inaonekana uko na chida ya matamuchi". smile
pesh cash
#753 Posted : Tuesday, July 26, 2011 4:27:42 PM
Rank: New-farer

Joined: 6/1/2011
Posts: 47
Location: Nairobi
a luo guy gives the conductor a thousand bob for fare from kencom to serena
conductor says, "boss, hauna pesa ingine? "
the guy chucks another one thousand.
I am an optimist. It does not seem too much use being anything else. ~Winston Churchill
McReggae
#754 Posted : Tuesday, July 26, 2011 4:33:48 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 6/17/2008
Posts: 23,365
Location: Nairobi
Shaffie weru!!!! - What is the opposite of laughter? A: Sex. How is that? Because laughter is "ha ha ha" and sex is "ah ah ah...!!!"
..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
conos
#755 Posted : Tuesday, July 26, 2011 6:01:11 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 4/30/2010
Posts: 241
pesh cash wrote:
a luo guy gives the conductor a thousand bob for fare from kencom to serena
conductor says, "boss, hauna pesa ingine? "
the guy chucks another one thousand.

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
ukiona choo kwa ndoto usiingie, ni mtego!
conos
#756 Posted : Tuesday, July 26, 2011 6:02:50 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 4/30/2010
Posts: 241
A couple is celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary in a
lovely restaurant. They were talking about how happy their
marriage has been and still is.

The husband says, "We have been married for so long, 50 wonderful
years, but there is something I have been meaning to ask you."

"Yes, dear, anything you want," replies the wife.

"Have you always been faithful? Come on, you can tell me; we have
been married for so long nothing can change that."

Shocked as she was she figured she owed him the truth.

"I have been unfaithful three times," she says. "Remember when
you were going to lose the business and you desperately needed a
loan, but none of the banks you went to gave you one. And then,
on the weekend, one of the bank managers came to the house and
gave it to you. Well that was the first time."

"I am shocked, but also I love you dearly because you sacrificed
yourself to save me from bankruptcy. What about the 2nd time?" he
asks.

"The second time was when you had the heart attack and needed
that special surgery. Remember the heart specialist flew in from
Chicago?" she said.

"Again I am shocked but I love you even more because you did it
for me. You are truly a magnificent woman. Tell me the third
time."

"Well, remember when you were running for mayor and you were 47
votes short...."
ukiona choo kwa ndoto usiingie, ni mtego!
brav
#757 Posted : Wednesday, July 27, 2011 9:29:35 AM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 11/26/2008
Posts: 745
C&P

THE YEAR IS 1976, and Nairobi MArathon is underway when a mugikuyu come to the stadium gate and is requested to pay 10/= entrance, he shrugs and says no he cannot pay a 10/= to watch people running and he walks away, then he just people cheering keino, keino, keino,keino!!! he paid the 10/= and dashed in so fast asking giikuu giiku
vin
#758 Posted : Wednesday, July 27, 2011 9:36:25 AM
Rank: Member

Joined: 1/22/2007
Posts: 337
nostoppingthis wrote:
Now this has malizad me.....In a matatu a jeng guy..... "Dere, hebu sukisa hapo sell gas steson".... People BURST out lauging & a Kiuk guy wiping tears from his eyes struggles to talk but still chuckling ati "Eeehhhh.....Dugu yagu...inaonekana uko na chida ya matamuchi". smile

This a real rib cracker.a case of a kettle calling a pot black.
Advice is like snow.The softer it lands the harder is sticks.
brav
#759 Posted : Wednesday, July 27, 2011 11:12:59 AM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 11/26/2008
Posts: 745
Quote:
nostoppingthis wrote:
Now this has malizad me.....In a matatu a jeng guy..... "Dere, hebu sukisa hapo sell gas steson".... People BURST out lauging & a Kiuk guy wiping tears from his eyes struggles to talk but still chuckling ati "Eeehhhh.....Dugu yagu...inaonekana uko na chida ya matamuchi". smile



Hio ni A1


vinii
#760 Posted : Wednesday, July 27, 2011 1:40:23 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 10/14/2009
Posts: 2,057
Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia? The mafia wants either ur money or life... The wives want both!

====

Marriage is like a public toilet Those waiting outside are desperate to get in & Those inside are desperate to come out.

====

No Man Can Ever Be Satisfied
with 4 things in life.
(1) Mobile
(2) Automobile
(3) TV
(4) Wife
Because there is always a better model in neighborhood.

===

Searching these keywords on Google `How to tackle wife?`
Google search result, `Good day sir, Even we are searching`.

===

Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right.
It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego!

===

Imagine living with 3 wives in one compound and never leaving the house for 5 years.
Osama Bin Laden must have called the US Navy Seals himself!

===

Whisky is a brilliant invention. One double and you start feeling single again.

===

A friend recently explained why he refuses to et married.
He says the wedding rings look like miniature handcuffs.
===

It is said that when a woman closes her eyes, she sees the person she love the most; and when a man does that... the slide show begins.

===

It takes thousand workers 2 build a castle, Million soldiers to protect
a country, but just One woman 2 make a Happy Home --------- A Good Maid.........!


Quote on a husband`s T-Shirt:

All girls are devils, but my wife is the queen
If you are an eagle don't hang around with chickens; chickens don't fly....
294 Pages«<7475767778>»
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