THE WEDDING TEST

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend
and I had been dating for over a year, and so we
decided to get married. There was only one
little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very
tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She
would regularly bend down when she was near
me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to
be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was
near anyone else.

One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to
come over to check the wedding invitations. She was
alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she
had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't
overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once
before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.

She said, 'I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if
you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.'
I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go
up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned
and made a beeline straight to the front door. I
opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing
outside, all clapping!


With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and
said, 'We are very happy that you have passed our
little test. We couldn't ask for a better
man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.'

And the moral of this story is:

Always keep your condoms in your car, because I was on my way to fetch them when I passed the test.

lets hope kuna mwingine nyuma ya huyo....

Jamaa mpenda wake za watu siku moja alikuwa akila uroda na mke wa jirani mtaa wa pili usiku wakati mumewe hayupo.

Ghafla, mume karudi na kuanza kupiga hodi mlango wa mbele, mke kusikia mumewe karudi, kahamaki na kukimbilia kumtoa jamaa kupitia mlango wa nyuma.

Jamaa alikurupuka mbio, akaruka ukuta akiwa uchi wa mnyama akakimbia hadi nyumbani kwake.

Alipofika kwa mkewe akamwambia kapigwa na majambazi njiani wakamvua nguo
zote na kumwibia kila kitu.

Mkewe akamwambia "Pole mpenzi lakini hawa majambazi si watu wema kabisa,
yaani wamekuvua nguo zote na kukuvalisha Condom!?"

@wakanyugi, you've made my day!

POLITIKS {|=
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I Understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."