In matters south, the best medicine is to talk to each other. "What do you like,What don't you like, how do you like it, lets try it this way" Not just lying there silent then expect everything to be amazing.
I also think taking time to warm each other up,sio kwenda direct to the main course, have some starters, this has the effect of wetting the appetite
When you and your partner are free with each other, able to communicate your likes and dislikes, in a loving way of course, then this is the first step in enjoying matters south.
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.... Leo Buscaglia