You have spoken like 10 gukas!

Agree with alma and even agree with his tone . To use words like "clandestine" etc etc and in the first place to put a girl in the family way reeks of very irresponsible behaviour which merits a terse response or the message will not get through.

First and foremost, i dont see any trapping here... My assumption, which is almost 100% correct is that the two of you are over 18yrs. You both know the consequences of having unprotected sex. The only time you can say you were trapped is if she drugged and raped you.... which, you should have reported to the police. Anything else, you were as irresponsible as she was by not taking precaution! How much does a condom cost anyway? My point is, please dont plead "innocence" by making the lady look bad to us.... it was an act of two consenting adults who are/were ready to deal with the consequences of their decisions.... If they weren't, then they'd have been more careful.

So there you go. As clear as it can get.... Take up your responsibility and take care of your child.... if we had fathers taking responsibility of their children (born in or out of their wedlock) as stipulated by guka on some post above, we wouldn't be having the so called "single mothers jailbirds"! If you dont, you'll be adding to the already big social problem that we have..... well, unless of course the lady told you she wanted to have a child and would raise it herself....

And on a positive side of it, be glad its only a baby! It could have been AIDS! (and you should be getting tested, just to be sure to start medication early if need be).

One of doing this is agreeing with the mother the responsibilities that are there

a. Housing - where they will be located and if reasonably priced where both you of can afford depending on the cost split.
b. food - the percentage you need to chip in
c. school - agree which schools you'd like the kid to attend and the cost and start saving early.... you can take an education insurance.
d. medical attention (this you can include the child in your official medical cover which is cheaper)
e. Nanny - decide who pays the nanny
f. Outings - put money aside for when you'll be spending time with the child
g. Other bills - water, power, security, etc - decide who'll be taking care of these.

Most importantly, create time because what the kid learns from you is more important than all the money you can dish out.

Woi, @Foreman wewe kwisha sasa.

[quote=radioWoi, @Foreman wewe kwisha sasa.
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Kwanza that list is not complete.

Ever talked to a farmer describing what it takes to take care of a cow or his crop? What makes people think kids are like weeds which will just grow whether or not they are taken care of?
You're talking about a human being - your child for that matter. Do more than you'd do for your cow or farm.