James: what would u think if u found ya wife in the bathtub with a security guard
Alex: I would think he is afraid of water

Bill gates calls President kibaki and their conversation goes this way:

Bill Gates : Jambo! you must have heard of Windows.

kibaki : Oh yes! I have even heard of curtains!.
...
Gates : Have you installed Windows at home?

kibaki : Yes, in fact in my Othaya house I installed burglar proof windows.

Gates(Confused): Hope the internet is being used a lot in Kenya.

Kibaki: Due to the prevaalence of mosquitoes, Kenyans are preferring to use supernet instead of internet..internet cannot kill mosquitoes

Gates: By the year 2012, all kenyans s...hould be using computer chips.

kibaki: No, Kenyans prefer Chips Funga

(Feeling very Uneasy): do you regularly use LapTops?

kibaki: Yes, in the evening,My grandson sleeps on the top of my lap.

Gates(Sweating Heavily): Do u know about RAM?

kibaki : I know about RUM and even changaa, though mututho analeta kiherehere

Tiga ni Raila nimepatwa na muthaura

Curiousity (pre-Mututho)

A priest, in urgent need to use the bathroom, walks into a local bar.
The bar is jumping with loud music and lively conversation, but every few minutes the lights abruptly go off. Every time the lights go off,the bar crowd bursts into loud whoops and applause, but when they see the priest enter the bar, the place becomes absolutely quiet.

The priest walks over to the bartender and asks, "Can you please tell me where your bathroom is?"

"Sure, but I have to tell you, father, there's a statue of a naked
woman in it and she’s wearing only a fig leaf."

"No problem, I'll just avert my eyes, then," Said the priest.

The bartender then shows the priest to the far side of the bar where
the bathroom is located. After a short while, the priest comes out of the bathroom and the bar crowd pauses only long enough to give him a rousing cheer. Perplexed he goes over to the bartender and asks, I'm puzzled. Why did they cheer for me as I came out of the bathroom just now?"

"Well, father, it's because your curiosity has made you human and
likeable, just like us," said the bartender. "May I pour you a drink?"

"No thank you, but, I'm still puzzled," said the priest.

"You see, father," chuckles the bartender, "every time somebody moves the fig leaf on the naked woman statue, the bar lights go off. Now,what do you say to that drink?"

It's 8.30 am two new recruits get to their respective desk to start working. one: yawns,
second: asks whats up dud?
one: am tired en feeling sick
second: why? try sexercise
one: what a remedy!
second: yap! coz i cant stand the handbreak