Reasonable.

I am wondering what about rehabilitating the man? Aren't men going to take up that challenge? What are the men in the man's life standing for in regards to this situation? These are also allies my brother had mentioned earlier.

I believe men also need support, training, advice to be better people. They are usually too easily overlooked. Sociologists have tried to explain such problems as starting with the boy-child.

Just my thoughts.

Fact: 99% of women in an abusive relationship will never leave. It has never made sense to me.

After all the advice and telling her to run, she still won't leave the man.

Here are you options:-
1.Do nothing
2.Leave by 1700hrs as suggested, alone or with your kids
3.Sit down, take inventory, figure out where the rain started beating you. Try counseling as MC suggested above. I will suggest you go this route only and only if he is willing to go for counseling too otherwise utakuwa unapaka mbuzi rangi.
4.Sit down, plan an exit strategy. Your plan is to leave in the next 3-6 months, by now you know the things that provoke him to hit you or fight with you, try as much as possible to avoid them, this requires a lot of pretense, you see things but do not complain about them, avoid sex without protection if you can. the whole idea is to buy yourself time to plan your exit, where you will go, do you want to change schools for the kids etc. etc. Also this is the time to start healing yourself and it will help when you start living alone, this is not going to be easy but if you prepare yourself, financially, emotionally, and psychologically it might be bearable, otherwise you will walk out and walk right back, something i detest.

5. If you have considered 4 above and are financially in a position to support your kids, get yourself a house somewhere else, scout for schools for your kids for next term possibly, walk and never look back.

6. If you have considered 4 above but are not financially in a position to fend for the kids but can afford to rent a house somewhere, move out with the kids and haul the bugger to court for upkeep.

7. If 6 above is not possible, go back to your parents home with your kids and take the bugger to court for upkeep.

All the best.

@lady em, I can't pretend to be an expert here let me share with you a real life experience.

A while back, the performance of my best sales staff started deteriorating. I called the guy and he told me a story almost similar to yours. The wife was taking him through hell. They were paying rent @60K, taking their kid to an international school and the wife was using the family car while the guy took a mat. And SHE was the man in the house.

I gave him my two cents marriage counselling advice. My boss called me regarding the guys performance and when I explained what the guy was going through, she told me something I will never forget. All her kids are married BTW. She told me marriage issues can only he sorted by the two parties. The pastor's job is to officiate the wedding, the best man's job is to panga logistics on the wedding day.

You can get so much (mis)advice here on wazua but ultimately, its your call.

My sales guy was later fired. The reason on his dismissal letter was pecuniary embarrassment when he started borrowing money from some of our biggest clients. I think he got fired because he refused to wear the trouser at home.

Requires a lot of strength and courage than you can ever imagine, figure this, you have been married for like 10 years, then the drama starts.

Involves too many things and either way you lose whether you decide to stay or decide to leave.

I always tell my male friends, if they must cheat, tafadhali heshimu mama, make sure she doesn't know, otherwise inakuwa madharau.
And i advice my female friends not to dig, seek and you will find, unless you are willing to act on what you find.