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Just for laughs...corner
brav
#471 Posted : Wednesday, November 10, 2010 6:10:35 PM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 11/26/2008
Posts: 745
andika insha kuhusu mtungo:

Mtungo ni mbembe ya kusandorwo au kusarukio na mai mahio ya kureo jeraini na adu a moko........
vinii
#472 Posted : Thursday, November 11, 2010 7:34:18 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 10/14/2009
Posts: 2,057

C & P


KCPE QUIZ


1) A normal person X wants to become a politician. What would you deduct from him to make him one?
 
 a) Common Sense
 b) Honesty
 c) Brains
 d) All the above
 
 2) A man voluntarily flies to the Hague and back on a commercial jet in a total of five hours. Assuming the distance to  Hague is 10,000 Km, how long will he take to come back if he goes there in handcuffs?
 
 3) Mr. Wetangula bought a piece of land for 1.1 billion which is 200% higher than the cost price. How much will the  transaction cost him?
a) His reputation
b) His job
c) His Salary
d) All the above
 
 4) The city council charges Ksh 140 to park a car in Nairobi and clamp it if the owner doesnt pay and charge him an  additional Ksh 1500. If a VITZ owner doesnt pay parking, how much will the owner pay in total if the car is clamped?
 
 a) A Vitz is not a car
 b) Ksh 20: The equivalent of children park-entry fees.
 c) They cant clamp the wheel of a Vitz. Its too small.
 d) He wont pay. He'd rather buy a new Vitz. Its cheaper.
 
 5) Using a pair of Compasses and a ruler, calculate the safest distance a person next to Raila should stand to avoid  being hit by his head when he is speaking.
 
 6) A ministry is allocated 5 billion shillings. Which of these politicians will embezzle the funds the fastest?
 
 a) Geoffrey Majiwa
 b) Moses Wetangula
 c) Charity Ngilu
 d) William Ruto
 
 7) An average person reads a speech in One hour, Thirty five minutes. How long will it take Kibaki to read the same speech?
 
 a) Hakuuuuuuna Haaaja.
If you are an eagle don't hang around with chickens; chickens don't fly....
vinii
#473 Posted : Thursday, November 11, 2010 7:36:04 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 10/14/2009
Posts: 2,057
C & P

KCPE - AFTERNOON PAPER



CRE: Why did David dance till he was almost naked in Jerusalem ? Bend-Over Thursday! KCPE 2010 Art & Craft; Q15: Name Three Joints. Answer: Rafikiz, Changes and Tamasha what does Yash pal Ghai's daughter call her father? >> Ghai fafa! where did Moses see the burning bush? A: Sanchangwan C.R.E How do we know Eve was not Chinese? Ans. She ate the fruit not the Snake History: Why did somalis president attend kenya 's promulgation? Ans: to take kenya 's old constitution GHC: Where is the Largest migration in Kenya ? A) Maasai Mara B) Thika rd C) Ngong rd D) Jogoo rd Name 3 things you can make from sheet metal 1) Funnel 2) Tin can c) Mitch's TPF4 suit Discuss the role of football during the recent Vuvuzela concerts held in SouthAfrica where does nameless come from in the EABL designated driver ad?A) from the bushes B)Wahu kicked him out C)a drunk driving accident Science: A stimulus is something that makes you react quickly. Like seeing an AP in your rearview mirror Who among these is not a relative a) Brother Paul b) Sister Margaret c) Uncle Moody Which was the biggest M-Pesa transaction in Kenyan history? (5 marks) <~ Sale of Tokyo Embassy by Wetangula Home Science: Which of the following foods is NOT rich in protein a) Chips Masala b) Chips Funga c)Chips Beba Mary loads her fon with 20/= & calls her friend for 6 min. A) what nwk is mary on? B) how many bonga points will she get Draw with a protractor & pencil how Ruto "jumped into conclusion" & went to the hague Maliza Methali *Akili Ni Nywele* *Ujinga ni Weave* *Wazimu ni Mohawk Discuss: Charging a Vitz KES 300 for parking fees is a form of child abuse (15 Marks) Write a composition ending with ......that's the day I knew his name was Onyancha
If you are an eagle don't hang around with chickens; chickens don't fly....
YesuWangu
#474 Posted : Thursday, November 11, 2010 9:22:05 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 8/11/2010
Posts: 1,588
vinii.....

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
Intelligentsia
#475 Posted : Thursday, November 11, 2010 10:52:41 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 10/1/2009
Posts: 2,436
Ethics:
1) What do you do if you are caught cheating:
A) Omg Omg B) Step aside c) Resign D) Rush to KNEC to explain


English

1) Ruto is to maize as ___________is to Embassy?

A) LAGOS B) JAPANESE C) DUBAI D) WETANGULA
Intelligentsia
#476 Posted : Thursday, November 11, 2010 10:56:32 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 10/1/2009
Posts: 2,436

Science Paper

What did judas update on twitter after Jesus resurrected?
A) OMG, B) NKT, C) LMFAO, D) WTF
carygoh
#477 Posted : Thursday, November 11, 2010 3:26:52 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 5/4/2008
Posts: 1,703


Don't Leave 'Em Hanging

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.

One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Ralph out.

When the Head Nurse became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Ralph, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead."

Edna replied "He didn't hang himself. I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"
Think Positive Test Negative
radio
#478 Posted : Thursday, November 11, 2010 4:39:02 PM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 11/9/2009
Posts: 2,003
Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
youcan'tstopusnow
#479 Posted : Friday, November 12, 2010 2:04:39 PM
Rank: Chief

Joined: 3/24/2010
Posts: 6,779
Location: Black Africa
Ati girlfriend yako ni ugly hadi akiimba 'Niko Na Safaricom' Safaricom wanampigia wanamwambia 'Hatuko na Wewe'
GOD BLESS YOUR LIFE
McReggae
#480 Posted : Friday, November 12, 2010 2:38:56 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 6/17/2008
Posts: 23,365
Location: Nairobi
A man is making love to his maid and tells her how sweet she is. The maid replies 'even the houseboy says am sweeter than madam!' Tafakari...
..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
294 Pages«<4647484950>»
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