Finally Osama makes it to the bench
Jeff:wow,what a man,what a beard, what a terrorist, so Osama,what are u upto?
Osama:Allah Akubar,<anatema mate>will bomb Israel,America and Kill Jack Bauer.....
Jeff:HAHAHAHA u have heard him, dont go away the bomb<bench> is just warming,this K24 where we are all Kenyan.....Osama:all Al...l shabab.

Manzi yako ameBEAT mpaka anaitwa BEATrice

When the body was first made, all parts wanted to be the boss.
The brain said "Since I control everything and do all the
thinking, I should be the boss"

The hand said, "Since I must do all the work and earn all the
money to keep the rest of you going, I should be boss"

The eyes said "Since I must look out for you all and tell you
where the danger lurks, I should be the boss."

And so it went with the Heart, the ears, the feet, the lungs,
etc. Finally the Asshole spoke up and demanded to be the Boss.
All other parts laughed at the idea of the Asshole being Boss.
The Asshole was so enraged that he blocked himself off and
refused to function.

Soon the brain was feverish, the eyes crossed and ached, the feet
were too weak, the hands hung limply at the side, the Heart and
lungs struggled to keep going. All pleaded with the Brain to let
the Asshole be the boss.
And so it happened. All the other parts did all the work and the
Asshole just bossed around and passed out a lot of shit.

The Moral of the story: You don't have to be a brain to be the
boss, You just have to be an Asshole.

A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend
the afternoon with
her for $500. They did their thing, and, before he
left, he told her that he
did not have any cash with him, but would have his
secretary write a check
and mail it to her, calling the payment "RENT FOR
APARTMENT." However, on
the way to the office, he regretted what he had done,
realizing that the
whole event had not been worth the price. So, he had
his secretary send a
check for $250 and enclose the following typed note:

Dear Madam: Enclosed please find a check for $250 for
rent of your
apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon,
because when I rented
the place, I was under the impression that:
1. It had never been occupied.
2. There was plenty of heat, and
3. It was small enough to make me feel cozy and at home.

However, I found out that it had been previously
occupied, that there
wasn't any heat, and that it was entirely too large."

Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned
the check for $250
with the following note:
Dear Sir: First, I cannot understand how you would
expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied
indefinitely. As for the
heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how to turn it
on. Regarding the
space, the apartment is indeed of regular size. But if
you don't have enough
furniture to fill it, please do not blame the
management.

Please send the rent in full, or we will be forced to
contact your present landlady.

A
woman to her husband, "honey, why don't you surprise me one of these
fine days?". After one month, the husband comes home with a lady one
evening and tells his wife, "darling, surprise, surprise, surprise! This
lady here is your co-wife"