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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/20/2008 Posts: 6,275 Location: Kenya
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Don't go the route by @jguru. Sampling is not the best bait. I think @innovate has a version that you can use as first plan, just ensure you don't dress too sexy though, if you're interested in marriage then the guy will want to see if you're wife material too, so don't wear those booths you bought last time 
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Rank: User Joined: 8/15/2013 Posts: 13,237 Location: Vacuum
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InnovateGuy wrote:Vallerrie wrote:quicksand wrote:Vallerrie wrote:Full disclosure, yep its me (duh) and yes he's a colleague.
@Impunity, I'm trying to get the man to like me, not rape me asi? Why would I show him the fundamendoz if he hasn't asked for 'em? Wewe unanimislead.
@AlphDoti - Thanks, solid advise. Your situation looks kinda hopeless...If he has not noticed you its cause very likely another girl has taken him ...this you can recognize immediately. Girls can tell when a jamaa digs her even if he keeps his hands off. Secondly,most jamaas I know avoid office romances. Fanya thorough research kwanza, may be if you gave us some info on the guy we can offer more focused tips  No he has noticed me, at least I think so, coz he flirts with me every time we run into each other aaaannnddd he has this deep baritone voice like....phew! Let me not go there. Research pia nimefanya, I work in HR so best believe I know the contents of his file. Wait, I think I might be kinda crazy, something ain't right with me. Go ahead and judge, I'll allow it. Use rat's bite and blow approach. This is how it works: - Day 1 ... Assume it's on a Monday. You're dressed sawasawa and you feel sexy about yourself. Show him total interest...like drop by his desk three times that day... asking funny questions about how he spent his weekend blah blah - Day 2 ... Assume it's on Tuesday. It's almost lunch hour, you're dressed sawasawa and you feel damn sexy. Drop by his desk, say you just wanted to check on him and propose to take him out for lunch. - Day 3... Assume it's on Thursday. Take the flirtation a notch higher... He might ask what you doing for the weekend and stuff.. that's when you gain control..say you had plans maybe day X.
Caution: Don't chase him. Lead him to chase you. Men love to chose. Make him feel like he's the one pursuing you and not the other way round. Become too available and he'll hate you. Become too rigid and he'll become bored. You might need to watch "Three Can Play that Game." It'll give invaluable tips. Day 4:assume it's on a Friday and you are dressed sawasawa and you feel sexy about yourself. Drop by his desk at 4:00pm and tell him that you want to be eaten crazily over the weekend If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/1/2011 Posts: 8,804 Location: Nairobi
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How to move depends on many things. Like what's his style of relating? What's your style? You need to know how your styles can work together. For this and more read a book called 'the art of seduction' by Robert Greene.
Right now every man will tell you about his fantasies, as if your mark is 'him'. But he may be requiring a very different approach.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/2/2011 Posts: 4,824 Location: -1.2107, 36.8831
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Swenani wrote:InnovateGuy wrote:Vallerrie wrote:quicksand wrote:Vallerrie wrote:Full disclosure, yep its me (duh) and yes he's a colleague.
@Impunity, I'm trying to get the man to like me, not rape me asi? Why would I show him the fundamendoz if he hasn't asked for 'em? Wewe unanimislead.
@AlphDoti - Thanks, solid advise. Your situation looks kinda hopeless...If he has not noticed you its cause very likely another girl has taken him ...this you can recognize immediately. Girls can tell when a jamaa digs her even if he keeps his hands off. Secondly,most jamaas I know avoid office romances. Fanya thorough research kwanza, may be if you gave us some info on the guy we can offer more focused tips  No he has noticed me, at least I think so, coz he flirts with me every time we run into each other aaaannnddd he has this deep baritone voice like....phew! Let me not go there. Research pia nimefanya, I work in HR so best believe I know the contents of his file. Wait, I think I might be kinda crazy, something ain't right with me. Go ahead and judge, I'll allow it. Use rat's bite and blow approach. This is how it works: - Day 1 ... Assume it's on a Monday. You're dressed sawasawa and you feel sexy about yourself. Show him total interest...like drop by his desk three times that day... asking funny questions about how he spent his weekend blah blah - Day 2 ... Assume it's on Tuesday. It's almost lunch hour, you're dressed sawasawa and you feel damn sexy. Drop by his desk, say you just wanted to check on him and propose to take him out for lunch. - Day 3... Assume it's on Thursday. Take the flirtation a notch higher... He might ask what you doing for the weekend and stuff.. that's when you gain control..say you had plans maybe day X.
Caution: Don't chase him. Lead him to chase you. Men love to chose. Make him feel like he's the one pursuing you and not the other way round. Become too available and he'll hate you. Become too rigid and he'll become bored. You might need to watch "Three Can Play that Game." It'll give invaluable tips. Day 4:assume it's on a Friday and you are dressed sawasawa and you feel sexy about yourself. Drop by his desk at 4:00pm and tell him that you want to be eaten crazily over the weekend Are we still helping @Valllerie to get to her "dream" man or we are helping her get laid by a "colleague". Receive with simplicity everything that happens to you.” ― Rashi
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Rank: User Joined: 8/15/2013 Posts: 13,237 Location: Vacuum
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dunkang wrote:Swenani wrote:InnovateGuy wrote:Vallerrie wrote:quicksand wrote:Vallerrie wrote:Full disclosure, yep its me (duh) and yes he's a colleague.
@Impunity, I'm trying to get the man to like me, not rape me asi? Why would I show him the fundamendoz if he hasn't asked for 'em? Wewe unanimislead.
@AlphDoti - Thanks, solid advise. Your situation looks kinda hopeless...If he has not noticed you its cause very likely another girl has taken him ...this you can recognize immediately. Girls can tell when a jamaa digs her even if he keeps his hands off. Secondly,most jamaas I know avoid office romances. Fanya thorough research kwanza, may be if you gave us some info on the guy we can offer more focused tips  No he has noticed me, at least I think so, coz he flirts with me every time we run into each other aaaannnddd he has this deep baritone voice like....phew! Let me not go there. Research pia nimefanya, I work in HR so best believe I know the contents of his file. Wait, I think I might be kinda crazy, something ain't right with me. Go ahead and judge, I'll allow it. Use rat's bite and blow approach. This is how it works: - Day 1 ... Assume it's on a Monday. You're dressed sawasawa and you feel sexy about yourself. Show him total interest...like drop by his desk three times that day... asking funny questions about how he spent his weekend blah blah - Day 2 ... Assume it's on Tuesday. It's almost lunch hour, you're dressed sawasawa and you feel damn sexy. Drop by his desk, say you just wanted to check on him and propose to take him out for lunch. - Day 3... Assume it's on Thursday. Take the flirtation a notch higher... He might ask what you doing for the weekend and stuff.. that's when you gain control..say you had plans maybe day X.
Caution: Don't chase him. Lead him to chase you. Men love to chose. Make him feel like he's the one pursuing you and not the other way round. Become too available and he'll hate you. Become too rigid and he'll become bored. You might need to watch "Three Can Play that Game." It'll give invaluable tips. Day 4:assume it's on a Friday and you are dressed sawasawa and you feel sexy about yourself. Drop by his desk at 4:00pm and tell him that you want to be eaten crazily over the weekend Are we still helping @Valllerie to get to her "dream" man or we are helping her get laid by a "colleague". She didn't say she is looking for her "dream"man; maybe she just wants to be eaten or maybe she wants a marriage partner thus we should give her advice for both. If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 7/5/2010 Posts: 2,061 Location: Nairobi
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Vallerrie wrote:quicksand wrote:Vallerrie wrote:Full disclosure, yep its me (duh) and yes he's a colleague.
@Impunity, I'm trying to get the man to like me, not rape me asi? Why would I show him the fundamendoz if he hasn't asked for 'em? Wewe unanimislead.
@AlphDoti - Thanks, solid advise. Your situation looks kinda hopeless...If he has not noticed you its cause very likely another girl has taken him ...this you can recognize immediately. Girls can tell when a jamaa digs her even if he keeps his hands off. Secondly,most jamaas I know avoid office romances. Fanya thorough research kwanza, may be if you gave us some info on the guy we can offer more focused tips  No he has noticed me, at least I think so, coz he flirts with me every time we run into each other aaaannnddd he has this deep baritone voice like....phew! Let me not go there. Research pia nimefanya, I work in HR so best believe I know the contents of his file. Wait, I think I might be kinda crazy, something ain't right with me. Go ahead and judge, I'll allow it. HR??  waaaah ... Anyhow, you have said that he flirts everytime you meet? That is your IN. All you need now is a little bravery. Place the ball firmly in his court...you could go the direct route (grabbing the bull by its horns) ...next time he flirts, counter with something like 'all you do is flirt, I thought you will have asked me out by now' - or go by the tried and tested coyness and reverse psychology thing that chics do and say in a singsongy way 'stop trying to flirt with me now, I am taken, you wasted your chance'. Or some similar variations. Net effect is you will leave the hapless boy with serious thoughts and options to consider and hopefully his ego will be prodded into making the next move. He seems to be in limbo and you need to breach the inaction -it is for your benefit, even if things dont go as you desire; Either way you will know whether there is something there or not and not wonder 'what if what if' for all eternity.
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Rank: Member Joined: 5/19/2012 Posts: 552
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Impunity wrote:Vallerrie wrote:Full disclosure, yep its me (duh) and yes he's a colleague.
@Impunity, I'm trying to get the man to like me, not rape me asi? Why would I show him the fundamendoz if he hasn't asked for 'em? Wewe unanimislead.
@AlphDoti - Thanks, solid advise. Having him the sneak preview of fundamendoz is a sure killer. Hizo zingine ni story tu. If you approach an African man directly like that he will think you are a whore or desperado! Onyesha yeye hiyo kitu, kidogo tu. @Vals, our men have such huge egos, so how you approach him really matters, otherwise he may run for the hills. My thought though, if it is someone you know and you can almost guess that he too has feelings for you, you could go ahead and make known your feelings, what do you have to loose. Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.... Leo Buscaglia
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Rank: Member Joined: 5/19/2012 Posts: 552
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washiku wrote:Vallerrie wrote:Based on the 'Telling her NO' thread, is it safe to assume that all guys prefer to do the chasing rather than be chased? What is a girl to do if she really really likes a guy? Just be coy and play the waiting game? Asking for a friend. No, really. This could potentially come back to bite me soooo....  Maybe that colleague of yours is a Wazuan too...Maybe, just maybe, he has already asked for advise on how to tell you NO. Just maybe Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.... Leo Buscaglia
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Rank: Member Joined: 10/8/2010 Posts: 763 Location: Intersection
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Vallerrie wrote:quicksand wrote:Vallerrie wrote:Full disclosure, yep its me (duh) and yes he's a colleague.
@Impunity, I'm trying to get the man to like me, not rape me asi? Why would I show him the fundamendoz if he hasn't asked for 'em? Wewe unanimislead.
@AlphDoti - Thanks, solid advise. Your situation looks kinda hopeless...If he has not noticed you its cause very likely another girl has taken him ...this you can recognize immediately. Girls can tell when a jamaa digs her even if he keeps his hands off. Secondly,most jamaas I know avoid office romances. Fanya thorough research kwanza, may be if you gave us some info on the guy we can offer more focused tips  No he has noticed me, at least I think so, coz he flirts with me every time we run into each other aaaannnddd he has this deep baritone voice like....phew! Let me not go there. Research pia nimefanya, I work in HR so best believe I know the contents of his file. Wait, I think I might be kinda crazy, something ain't right with me. Go ahead and judge, I'll allow it. I don't think it would be wise to say anything to him simply because he flirts with you. Most men (maybe even 99.999%)flirt with different women all the time. Before you ruin a "possible" friendship, I would suggest you look for more signs and not just flirting. Even a short African man will flirt with a tall African woman...knowing the odds he'll ever ask for a date are "mhhhh"...(no offence to anyone  ) Good luck ...while at it, enjoy the crazy feeling...it's rare...plus you will just be glowing
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Rank: Elder Joined: 1/17/2013 Posts: 4,693 Location: Earth
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