>> >
>> > A little girl was talking to her teacher about
>> > whales.
>> >
>> > The teacher said it was physically impossible for
>> a
>> > whale to swallow a
>> > human because even though it was a very large
>> mammal
>> > its throat was very
>> > small.
>> >
>> > The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by
>> a
>> > whale.
>> >
>> > Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale
>> could
>> > not swallow a
>> > human; it was physically impossible.
>> >
>> > The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will
>> > ask Jonah".
>> >
>> > The teacher asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?"
>> >
>> > The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom
>> > of children while
>> > they were drawing. She would occasionally walk
>> > around to see each
>> > child's work.
>> >
>> > As she got to one little girl who was working
>> > diligently, she asked what
>> > the drawing was.
>> >
>> > The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
>> >
>> > The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows
>> what
>> > God looks like."
>> >
>> > Without missing a beat, or looking up from her
>> > drawing, the girl
>> > replied, "They will in a minute."
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten
>> > Commandments with her
>> > five and six year olds.
>> >
>> > After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy
>> > Father and thy Mother,
>> > she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us
>> > how to treat our
>> > brothers and sisters?"
>> >
>> > Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest
>> of
>> > a family) answered,
>> > "Thou shall not kill."
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > One day a little girl was sitting and watching her
>> > mother do the dishes
>> > at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her
>> > mother had several
>> > strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on
>> > her brunette head.
>> >
>> > She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked,
>> > "Why are some of your
>> > hairs white, Mom?"
>> >
>> > Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do
>> > something wrong and
>> > make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns
>> > white."
>> >
>> > The little girl thought about this revelation for
>> a
>> > while and then said,
>> > "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are
>> white?"
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > The children had all been photographed, and the
>> > teacher was trying to
>> > persuade them each to buy a copy of the group
>> > picture.
>> >
>> > "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when
>> > you are all grown up
>> > and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or
>> > 'That's Michael, He's a
>> > doctor.'
>> >
>> > A small voice at the back of the room rang out,
>> "And
>> > there's the
>> > teacher, She's dead. "
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation
>> of
>> > the blood. Trying to
>> > make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if
>> I
>> > stood on my head,
>> > the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I
>> > would turn red in the
>> > face.."
>> >
>> > "Yes," the class said.
>> >
>> > "Then why is it that while I am standing upright
>> in
>> > the ordinary
>> > position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
>> >
>> > A little fellow shouted,
>> >
>> > "Cause your feet ain't empty."
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a
>> > Catholic elementary
>> > school for lunch. At the head of the table was a
>> > large pile of apples.
>> > The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
>>
>> >
>> > "Take only ONE. God is watching."
>> >
>> > Moving further along the lunch line, at the other
>> > end of the table was a
>> > large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
>> >
>> > A child had written a note, "Take all you want.
>> God
>> > is watching the
>> > apples

A Kikuyu and an American man are sitting next to each other on a long
flight from London to Bermuda. The American man leans over to the
Kikuyu and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The Kikuyu just wants
to take a nap, so He politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch
a few winks.
The American man persists and explains that the game is real easy and
is a lot of fun. He explains "I ask you a question, and if you don't know
the answer, you pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't know
the answer, I'll pay you $5." Again, the Kikuyu politely declines and tries
to get to sleep.
The American man, now somewhat agitated, says, "OK, if you don't know
The answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you
$100!" This catches the Kikuyu's attention, and he sees no end to this
torment unless he plays, so he agrees to the game. The American asks the
first question.
"What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"


The Kikuyu doesn't say a word, but reaches into his wallet, pulls out a
five dollar bill and hands it to the American, now, it's the Kikuyu's turn.
He asks the American "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down on
four?" The American looks up at him with a puzzled look. H! e takes out his
laptop computer and searches all of his references. He taps into the Air
phone with his modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress.


Frustrated, he sends e-mail to his co-workers-all to no avail. After
about an other hour, he wakes the Kikuyu and hands him $100. The Kikuyu
politely takes the $100 and turns away to try to get back to sleep. The
American, more than a little miffed, shakes the Kikuyu and asks "Well, so
what's the answer?"
Without a word, the Kikuyu reaches into his wallet, hands the American $5,
and turns away to get back to sleep.

one day when moi was tha prezzo did what he liked most.paying impromptu visits to institutions,making impromptu decisions and finaly having an impromptu harambee.
But that day he paid a visit to Mathari hosi to see how things are going with the usual convoy of outriders,ma karao,and stalwarts on tow.
Inside mathari wachizi who were responding well to medicines were taken aback by this peculiar 'patient'. One patient named omari went to his one of his friend and said to him "this old man must be seriously ill" why? asked the friend."when i was brought here, i was escorted by one policeman,this is escorted by more than two hundred karaos.But omari, seeing how events were unfolding,decided to know who is this 'patient' who is guarded like hell.Lucky he was,and he managed to chat a few word with the man.
Omari:my name is omari from tanzania and what is your name???.Moi was surprised that this man didnt know him but he proceeded to introduce himself.
Moi:my name is toroitich arap moi president of kenya.
Omari busted out laughing and said,"when i was brought here i was calling myself President Nyerere of tanzania just wait n see the kind of medicines they will administered to you".

Ati the IIEC does NOT stand for ile ile Electral Commission!!!

Copy-paste

A young smart Luo (Otieno) from Maseno walked into a jewelery store one Friday evening on Kenyatta Avenue with a beautiful young kikuyu gal at his side.

He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend (Wambui).

The jeweller looked through his stock and brought out a Kshs 5,000 ring and showed it to him. The Luo man said, "I don't think you understand, I want something very special."

At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only Kshs 250,000," the jeweler said.

Wambui's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The young man seeing this said, "We'll take it."

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated, by cheque. "I know you need to make sure my cheque is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank on Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon," he said.

Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned the young man. "There's no money in that account."

"I know", said the young luo man, "but can you imagine the weekend I had?" Thanks!!!!!!!! Shred the cheque