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Help out a Depressed Sister!
Ngogoyo
#21 Posted : Monday, April 08, 2019 1:19:00 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 6/22/2011
Posts: 561
Location: House
Trufena wrote:
Thank you all for your response.And did somebody say that people will tend to show me their back.Yes,am all alone in this except my daughter and definitely God.They are the only ones who gives me reason to look for another day.Even my own pastor who has told me that he has reached his limit and so am on my own.He is right coz sincerely there's nothing he can do.Remember I was not doing anything in darkness.At some point,I even invited this Conman to Church and he met the Pastor & an Apostle who was a police CID ,but the guy slipped in our hands just like that.He asked to be given one month to sort out his rent to be able to be access his documents(tittle deed) to enable the transfer but that was the last time we saw him.He even called the mother before us to confirm how the dad is critically sick so I have a feeling that even the parents are involve.I was thinking of tracing their home to talk to parents but I believe it might not help much.

My father died long time ago and its true the r/ship wasn't good since he used to be drunk 24/7.

However,I thank God for one think,loosing my Job is a blessing in disguise since I could have not known the true colors of this conman.I still dont understand why he insisted that I add his name to my childs birth certificate.When I told him that I was going to do name correction with the ministry,he quickly signed an affidavit and gave me a copy of his ID to include him as the father.So I wonder whether he also wanted to steal my daughter as well or this was just meant to fool me around.Fortunately,at that moment I was not convinced that there was love that could lead to marriage.During that period I was only waiting for him to transfer the tittle so that I can cut ties but somehow he was smarter than me.

My only prayer to God now is that he may restore back my Job.I will be able to repay back the loan and provide basic needs for my child which is currently impossible.

But I also have to accept the fact that I dont know how to pray.Am saying so because at the beginning of this r/ship I involve God.I fasted for three days asking God whether it was worth getting into.But am getting my answers when its a bit too late.And remember God does no mistake,so I am the problem or God allowed it to happen for some reasons, I dont know.

I wish I had the capacity to expose the conman in the media so that some of my sisters being conned right now out there may be safe.But again,I fear for my security since the cruel criminal is smart and now I know he can do anything.I remember him saying very well that Jaque Maribe's boyfriend was stupid."How can he madder someone leaving evidence every where,that must have been his first time"


@Trufena.

Let me give you some real life truths.

1.No one owes you any happiness. You seem to be used to outsourcing it to others. Change that and give yourself and your daughter the happiness.

2. Never trust ANYONE 100%. (apart from your mother and child). Always leave benefit of doubt. ALWAYS. Agree to do something but insist on documentation even with your own sister or brother if you have one. Even something smells fishey, trust that. Our minds are very powerful. Its better to retain 100% resocurces than to be left with 50% chasing 200%
3. GOD gave you a brain. Stop bothering him too much. Leave these 'people of God" you are referring to. They are sheep and most are clueless. Learn to trust your instinct and ooh fasting doesn't solve a problem, thinking does and checking options on the table and going with least risky one.
4. Learn to count your losses at times to reduce further losses. Use the losses as lessons or treat them as School of hard knocks fees.

I know you feel down but that's the lowest you can go. take stock of your assets (physical and intangible like skills) and plan a way to make a step every day.

Wishing you well.
Trufena
#22 Posted : Monday, April 08, 2019 4:01:55 PM
Rank: Hello

Joined: 4/6/2019
Posts: 3
Location: Nairobi
Thanks for the advise.This is such a costly experience though.

I've since learned I can file a police report for theft, and that a verbal agreement is still an agreement if I can prove it with witnesses –and the police CID has been clear: I may very well get nowhere.
But what happened to me could have happened to anyone. The manipulation he used was powerful and calculated, and he went looking for women exactly like me.One of them confessed to me that this same guy stole 1m from her as well.This was to enable the guy seek “cancer treatment in India”.While I was taken to view a plot in Kitengela,she was also taken to view one in Eldoret.Since she was working out of town,the conman told her to move to Nairobi so that she can take care of him since he has gone through several operations and is very weak.So the lady shipped all her household items,literally all,furnitures,clothing,kitchenwares,electronics ,tablets etc to the conman and that was the time last time he heard from him.
However,as she is busy paying off the loan she vowed that the conman will one day look for him.She is not for following up with the police since apart from hearbreak,the redicule that comes with it is overwhelming,but she sounded like she will go witchcracraft way.Now this is a no no to me.She also told me that she knows of one guy who this conartist conned 400k.
Personally,I know of around 4 ladies who could most probably be in the same situation but approaching them is rather hard since they might not open up.
As for me I decided to open up coz it’s a step towards my healing.I pray that God will heal me some day.Almost 1.5years ago I almost ended my life,I even wrote a suciadal note to the conman and one to my family .But when I looked at my beautiful girl and remembered few orphans I know,the way they are surffering,then I decided to live for her.Am sure if I died ,the conman could have celebrated since his aim has always been to stress me to death.But I thank God for his mercies. Though the stress is eating me badly. The most painful experience in all these is the day my child shed tears because of hunger. I feel irresponsible and unable to protect her. Even though I have been applying for Jobs ,I haven’t been lucky to get one. The few Interviews I have gone this year haven’t been fruitful as they say that am overqualified. May God open up that door for me that will change my life.
Euge
#23 Posted : Monday, April 08, 2019 4:09:36 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 8/4/2008
Posts: 2,849
Location: Rupi
drogon wrote:
Sister....your post is too long.
If you could summarize please?😰😰


Let a sister be. Writing is good for her healing. And after your parents spend so much money to get you a good education you still have a problem reading? You need to be whipped on your bum.
Lord, thank you!
tycho
#24 Posted : Monday, April 08, 2019 5:34:45 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 7/1/2011
Posts: 8,804
Location: Nairobi
Sorry guys, but this looks like either one of those Eric Berne 'games that people play' or a con in the making.

There's a low truth value to the narrative.
aemathenge
#25 Posted : Monday, April 08, 2019 6:35:33 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 10/18/2008
Posts: 3,434
Location: Kerugoya
tycho wrote:
Sorry guys, but this looks like either one of those Eric Berne 'games that people play' or a con in the making.

There's a low truth value to the narrative.

Ugh! you can be such a spoil sport.
Swenani
#26 Posted : Monday, April 08, 2019 11:08:54 PM
Rank: User

Joined: 8/15/2013
Posts: 13,237
Location: Vacuum
I keep on telling ladies,if you find a man who can't pay his bills and depends on a lady,RUN. Even if you have been married to him for the past for 1000 yrs.

Pesa ya mwanaumme ni ya nyumba ya mwanamke ni yake.
If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
tycho
#27 Posted : Tuesday, April 09, 2019 11:11:50 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 7/1/2011
Posts: 8,804
Location: Nairobi
Swenani wrote:
I keep on telling ladies,if you find a man who can't pay his bills and depends on a lady,RUN. Even if you have been married to him for the past for 1000 yrs.

Pesa ya mwanaumme ni ya nyumba ya mwanamke ni yake.


Kama mwanamke ni nyumba, then this idea makes sense. If not, then maybe we're talking of a very different kind of contract...
tycho
#28 Posted : Tuesday, April 09, 2019 11:13:35 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 7/1/2011
Posts: 8,804
Location: Nairobi
aemathenge wrote:
tycho wrote:
Sorry guys, but this looks like either one of those Eric Berne 'games that people play' or a con in the making.

There's a low truth value to the narrative.

Ugh! you can be such a spoil sport.


Pole. I also don't enjoy disrupting my fantasies. But I have to anyway...
Doombringer
#29 Posted : Wednesday, April 10, 2019 10:46:02 PM
Rank: New-farer

Joined: 2/19/2019
Posts: 32
Location: France
Sorry for what you've gone through sister. Its very depressing to read this long post, but I guess I read through because its touching. Anyway, the bottom line is, you made mistakes, and everyone else makes mistakes. What matters is how you get up and move on with your life. Don't wallow in depression. God has sustained your life and given you a child, think about that before doing anything you'll regret
simonkabz
#30 Posted : Wednesday, April 10, 2019 11:02:26 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 3/2/2007
Posts: 8,776
Location: Cameroon
Swenani wrote:
I keep on telling ladies,if you find a man who can't pay his bills and depends on a lady,RUN. Even if you have been married to him for the past for 1000 yrs.

Pesa ya mwanaumme ni ya nyumba ya mwanamke ni yake.


Swenani Jambo.

Hapo umedunga point ndani yake. Truer words havent been recently spoken. smile
TULIA.........UFUNZWE!
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