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why men cheat...
Rank: User Joined: 8/15/2013 Posts: 13,237 Location: Vacuum
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Jus Blazin wrote:Swenani wrote:Jus Blazin wrote:Swenani wrote:vin wrote:Swenani wrote:kiwaru wrote:What is the proportion of men cheat on their partners? (whether married or in friend-with-benefits relationships)? Anecdotal evidence is acceptable
What makes men cheat
Compared to men, do women cheat as much? Why (not)?
@swenani... since you already have built a reputation, any insights? Men do not cheat,they just explore The reason men explore is because they have a dick. Anyway,from my experience as a relationship therapist;Men explore because unlike women; 1.They do not need to be emotionally attached to whover he is exploring with. 2.No single woman can meet the needs of a man(If she is beautiful,then she doesnt have boobs orshock absorbs, if she has boobs and shock absorbs then she is not beautiful).Thats why a man has to explore the different varieties of women.#WOMENARENOTTHESAME~ 3.Men are insecure,they need to explore to feel like men 4.Men explore because unlike women they can get in the moody instantly(Thats why they wake up with an erection every morning) 5.Men spend 90% of their time thinking about women and sex. 6.Men explore because the womenn allow them to Women explore as much as men but unlike men you cant easily catch a woman and they explore when they are not sexually satisfied Any person cheating has made a choice of doing so.The actions you do are your own choice.You cheat because you want to.Any other argument will be like blaming a blind man for staring at your girlfriend. @Vin, Show me one man who has not explored and I will prove to you that Vera Sidika is a virgin Give me a break. If it’s in men to cheat, then why is the affair kept a secret? Go public then. Go ahead and tell your partner that you have or are about to have an affair with some other woman. Rest assured we will not be surprised if a ‘Last seen…’ caption was to be found in the dailies. So we all have a potential to cheat on our women. That’s a fact. Just like we are potential liars, murderers, thieves, suicide bombers and cultic preachers. But you don’t find yourself having an affair. You make a choice to have one. Do you see every man cheating on their partner? No! Does it make them seem weird if they don’t? I don’t think so! When the affair is done secretly, it means all senses and activities are well thought of to keep it what it is, a secret. And that’s the difference between men and animals. Animals don’t reason. Men do. @JB,A man by nature is a curious and domineering human being, through evolution/creation it has been proved that man prefers to plant his seeds in many places Traditionally, a man used to plant many seeds in many places since polygamy was allowed but nowadays society equates polygamy to backwardness that's why men do it secretly. Somebody up there said there is more sperms than ova thats why one man can sire many kids in a year unlike a woman(bateman principle) thats why many men are keen on casual sex than women which leads men to explore ION, I think polygamy and cheating is one and the same thing. Cheating is the modern day polygamy which has been demonized No. Polygamy is not promiscuity. promiscuity is having multiple sexual partners just like polygamy. What you call "cheating" is just modern day polygamy. Why in times of our great grandfathers,we didnt have cheating? In your language/mother tongue what is "cheating" or promiscuity? If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
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Rank: Elder Joined: 10/23/2008 Posts: 3,966
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pro·mis·cu·ous adjective \prə-ˈmis-kyə-wəs\ : having or involving many sexual partners po·lyg·a·my noun \-mē\ : the state or practice of being married to more than one person at the same time. Luck is when Preparation meets Opportunity. ~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca
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Rank: User Joined: 8/15/2013 Posts: 13,237 Location: Vacuum
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Jus Blazin wrote:pro·mis·cu·ous adjective \prə-ˈmis-kyə-wəs\
: having or involving many sexual partners
po·lyg·a·my noun \-mē\
: the state or practice of being married to more than one person at the same time.
The fact that you are married means that you are having sex with more than one person. If I have housed a mpango wa kando in a one bedroom huko umoja and she has my two kids,I take care of her in everyway(socially,economiclaly,sexually etc)Am I cheating? If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
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Rank: Elder Joined: 10/9/2008 Posts: 5,389
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If a muzungu has relationships with 3 women within 3 yrs, via marriage and divorce, he's termed faithful and civilised.
When a black man has relationships with 3 women within 3yrs, but doesn't take the marriage and divorce route, and supports all of them, he's termed promiscuous and primitive.
However, the basic fact is that both have ******* 3 women within the three yrs but the world treats them differently.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/20/2008 Posts: 6,275 Location: Kenya
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Cheating is simply BAD MANNERS.
For example, it's a fact that we all get hungry, in need of food. Assume that one day the hungry man on his way home passes by somebody's food store, the hungry men will see the food and react differently:
- one will steal the food
- one will say that's not mine, I have my food waiting for me at home, cooked by my wife, I will go home
- one will say, yes I have food at home, maybe even better quality, but I'll go there knock at the store owner and beg for this food. Some will give you the food (another bad manners person), some will deny you saying it belongs to children (faithful one)
So, it's all about habit you have developed. If you got used to eating food on the roadside, everywhere, disregard of its hygiene, then you learned bad manners.
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Rank: Member Joined: 8/5/2011 Posts: 125
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Ok, so the discussion has gone to "defining promiscuity" before we go on to "give reasons why"...
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Rank: Member Joined: 8/5/2011 Posts: 125
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And two categories of cheaters emerge:
1. Genetic / social predisposition: "surely, how can i let this opportunity pass?"
2. Victim cheater... "what was i supposed to do?"
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Rank: User Joined: 8/15/2013 Posts: 13,237 Location: Vacuum
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AlphDoti wrote:Cheating is simply BAD MANNERS.
For example, it's a fact that we all get hungry, in need of food. Assume that one day the hungry man on his way home passes by somebody's food store, the hungry men will see the food and react differently:
- one will steal the food
- one will say that's not mine, I have my food waiting for me at home, cooked by my wife, I will go home
- one will say, yes I have food at home, maybe even better quality, but I'll go there knock at the store owner and beg for this food. Some will give you the food (another bad manners person), some will deny you saying it belongs to children (faithful one)
So, it's all about habit you have developed. If you got used to eating food on the roadside, everywhere, disregard of its hygiene, then you learned bad manners. Thats how you view "modern polygamy" This is how I view it from your example Quote:For example, it's a fact that we all get hungry, in need of food. Assume that one day the hungry man on his way home passes by somebody's food store, the hungry men will see the food and react differently:
- one will ask for permission to eat or buy the food
- one will say Why incur extra expenses, I have my food waiting for me at home, cooked by my wife, I will go home
- one will say, yes I have food at home but I will have it for dinner(nyama) maybe even better quality, but I'll go there knock at the store owner and beg for this food to be eaten at lunch(Sukuma) time. Some will give you the food (good person), some will sell you fish (fish parlour)
If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
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Rank: User Joined: 9/6/2013 Posts: 1,446 Location: In a house
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jaggernaut wrote:If a muzungu has relationships with 3 women within 3 yrs, via marriage and divorce, he's termed faithful and civilised.
When a black man has relationships with 3 women within 3yrs, but doesn't take the marriage and divorce route, and supports all of them, he's termed promiscuous and primitive.
However, the basic fact is that both have ******* 3 women within the three yrs but the world treats them differently.
 On point. We should stop seeing things mzungu way. Whether it is promiscuous or polygamous, a man was created to domineer not just one lady but several. Is that not why we are very egoistic?
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Rank: Elder Joined: 1/17/2013 Posts: 4,693 Location: Earth
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Rank: Elder Joined: 10/23/2008 Posts: 3,966
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urstill1 wrote:jaggernaut wrote:If a muzungu has relationships with 3 women within 3 yrs, via marriage and divorce, he's termed faithful and civilised.
When a black man has relationships with 3 women within 3yrs, but doesn't take the marriage and divorce route, and supports all of them, he's termed promiscuous and primitive.
However, the basic fact is that both have ******* 3 women within the three yrs but the world treats them differently.
On point. We should stop seeing things mzungu way. Whether it is promiscuous or polygamous, a man was created to domineer not just one lady but several. Is that not why we are very egoistic? There's no problem in having several women. Just marry them. It's allowed in law, no? Luck is when Preparation meets Opportunity. ~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/1/2011 Posts: 8,804 Location: Nairobi
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Swenani wrote:tycho wrote:quicksand wrote:kiwaru wrote:What is the proportion of men cheat on their partners? (whether married or in friend-with-benefits relationships)? Anecdotal evidence is acceptable
What makes men cheat
Compared to men, do women cheat as much? Why (not)?
@swenani... since you already have built a reputation, any insights? Why do you need an answer to this question? The important thing is that you don't cheat, trying to understand the psyche of one half of the planet's population will leave you out of breath. There are no guarantees with, but if it was me being asked by a woman what she would need to do to keep me interested I would advise her thusly: 1. None of that denial-of-sex, in-the-doghouse crap, at least not for long. Keep a man from sex for more than a week and his blueballs condition will have him searching for it outside, with someone else. Girls out there give it up with shocking ease!! Even when they know there is someone else, and perhaps even know her too. 2. Stay slim, pretty, dress well. Outdoor activities help. Most men are scared of losing a gorgeous, well preserved wife. 3. Men remain babies with fragile egos. That means you do not forget about him cause you have given birth. Many women make the mistake of getting totally immersed in raising children and leave a guy to his devices. When she comes to 5 years later when kids are off to school the dude is tapping someone else. Now #2 and #3 is where women jump in in righteous protest, cause these are all hard sacrifices when the dude has an easy road, but sorry girls, there is no justice on this road. Things are what they are. Give a dude sex, nice home, a comfortable life, he will think hard before stepping out. It is the thinking that counts. Make life hard and there will be no thinking to temper the erection. My 2 cents. One should be able to live without demanding sex or expecting sex from his female partner(s). @Tycho,why are you cheating on yourself? On the contrary@swenani.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/1/2011 Posts: 8,804 Location: Nairobi
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quicksand wrote:tycho wrote:quicksand wrote:kiwaru wrote:What is the proportion of men cheat on their partners? (whether married or in friend-with-benefits relationships)? Anecdotal evidence is acceptable
What makes men cheat
Compared to men, do women cheat as much? Why (not)?
@swenani... since you already have built a reputation, any insights? Why do you need an answer to this question? The important thing is that you don't cheat, trying to understand the psyche of one half of the planet's population will leave you out of breath. There are no guarantees with, but if it was me being asked by a woman what she would need to do to keep me interested I would advise her thusly: 1. None of that denial-of-sex, in-the-doghouse crap, at least not for long. Keep a man from sex for more than a week and his blueballs condition will have him searching for it outside, with someone else. Girls out there give it up with shocking ease!! Even when they know there is someone else, and perhaps even know her too. 2. Stay slim, pretty, dress well. Outdoor activities help. Most men are scared of losing a gorgeous, well preserved wife. 3. Men remain babies with fragile egos. That means you do not forget about him cause you have given birth. Many women make the mistake of getting totally immersed in raising children and leave a guy to his devices. When she comes to 5 years later when kids are off to school the dude is tapping someone else. Now #2 and #3 is where women jump in in righteous protest, cause these are all hard sacrifices when the dude has an easy road, but sorry girls, there is no justice on this road. Things are what they are. Give a dude sex, nice home, a comfortable life, he will think hard before stepping out. It is the thinking that counts. Make life hard and there will be no thinking to temper the erection. My 2 cents. One should be able to live without demanding sex or expecting sex from his female partner(s). Yes. One shouldn't have to demand sex, it should be granted willingly. But a guy should expect that his wife will screw him often and for many years to come as long as the bodies and strength allows. Sex is a primal, base need for humans. Its like hunger for food, thirst for water, you cannot Zen it out. If you don't put something in your stomach, you will die. It should not be the only thing in the relationship, but it is one of the important pillars. When physical intimacy is removed the relationship starts to fester. Its biology. You can repress urges, but you can't eliminate them. Repressed urges lead to bad health or a bad psychological state. @quicksand, these ideas you're giving have one assumption: sexual urges can't be under conscious control and experienced under such conditions that allow other forms of expression. And that these conscious controls can do away with the necessity of 'expecting to be screwed' and consequently remove all sexual pressure from the female, and even the male. You're asserting the status quo. But the evidence to show the status quo is mulfunctional, and even degrading is ample. Besides, we should be careful because sex without conscious control leads to many problems. For example, personality development may be hampered, you might damage your kidneys, and last but not least, you become a sloppy lover. Zen isn't about repression. It's about expression. Free expression. Becoming a supreme lover, accepting total responsibility for your sexuality and not relying on another.
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Rank: Member Joined: 8/5/2011 Posts: 125
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tycho wrote:quicksand wrote:tycho wrote:quicksand wrote:kiwaru wrote:What is the proportion of men cheat on their partners? (whether married or in friend-with-benefits relationships)? Anecdotal evidence is acceptable
What makes men cheat
Compared to men, do women cheat as much? Why (not)?
@swenani... since you already have built a reputation, any insights? Why do you need an answer to this question? The important thing is that you don't cheat, trying to understand the psyche of one half of the planet's population will leave you out of breath. There are no guarantees with, but if it was me being asked by a woman what she would need to do to keep me interested I would advise her thusly: 1. None of that denial-of-sex, in-the-doghouse crap, at least not for long. Keep a man from sex for more than a week and his blueballs condition will have him searching for it outside, with someone else. Girls out there give it up with shocking ease!! Even when they know there is someone else, and perhaps even know her too. 2. Stay slim, pretty, dress well. Outdoor activities help. Most men are scared of losing a gorgeous, well preserved wife. 3. Men remain babies with fragile egos. That means you do not forget about him cause you have given birth. Many women make the mistake of getting totally immersed in raising children and leave a guy to his devices. When she comes to 5 years later when kids are off to school the dude is tapping someone else. Now #2 and #3 is where women jump in in righteous protest, cause these are all hard sacrifices when the dude has an easy road, but sorry girls, there is no justice on this road. Things are what they are. Give a dude sex, nice home, a comfortable life, he will think hard before stepping out. It is the thinking that counts. Make life hard and there will be no thinking to temper the erection. My 2 cents. One should be able to live without demanding sex or expecting sex from his female partner(s). Yes. One shouldn't have to demand sex, it should be granted willingly. But a guy should expect that his wife will screw him often and for many years to come as long as the bodies and strength allows. Sex is a primal, base need for humans. Its like hunger for food, thirst for water, you cannot Zen it out. If you don't put something in your stomach, you will die. It should not be the only thing in the relationship, but it is one of the important pillars. When physical intimacy is removed the relationship starts to fester. Its biology. You can repress urges, but you can't eliminate them. Repressed urges lead to bad health or a bad psychological state. @quicksand, these ideas you're giving have one assumption: sexual urges can't be under conscious control and experienced under such conditions that allow other forms of expression. And that these conscious controls can do away with the necessity of 'expecting to be screwed' and consequently remove all sexual pressure from the female, and even the male. You're asserting the status quo. But the evidence to show the status quo is mulfunctional, and even degrading is ample. Besides, we should be careful because sex without conscious control leads to many problems. For example, personality development may be hampered, you might damage your kidneys, and last but not least, you become a sloppy lover. Zen isn't about repression. It's about expression. Free expression. Becoming a supreme lover, accepting total responsibility for your sexuality and not relying on another. @tycho How do you express yourself and not rely on another?    
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/1/2011 Posts: 8,804 Location: Nairobi
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kiwaru wrote:tycho wrote:quicksand wrote:tycho wrote:quicksand wrote:kiwaru wrote:What is the proportion of men cheat on their partners? (whether married or in friend-with-benefits relationships)? Anecdotal evidence is acceptable
What makes men cheat
Compared to men, do women cheat as much? Why (not)?
@swenani... since you already have built a reputation, any insights? Why do you need an answer to this question? The important thing is that you don't cheat, trying to understand the psyche of one half of the planet's population will leave you out of breath. There are no guarantees with, but if it was me being asked by a woman what she would need to do to keep me interested I would advise her thusly: 1. None of that denial-of-sex, in-the-doghouse crap, at least not for long. Keep a man from sex for more than a week and his blueballs condition will have him searching for it outside, with someone else. Girls out there give it up with shocking ease!! Even when they know there is someone else, and perhaps even know her too. 2. Stay slim, pretty, dress well. Outdoor activities help. Most men are scared of losing a gorgeous, well preserved wife. 3. Men remain babies with fragile egos. That means you do not forget about him cause you have given birth. Many women make the mistake of getting totally immersed in raising children and leave a guy to his devices. When she comes to 5 years later when kids are off to school the dude is tapping someone else. Now #2 and #3 is where women jump in in righteous protest, cause these are all hard sacrifices when the dude has an easy road, but sorry girls, there is no justice on this road. Things are what they are. Give a dude sex, nice home, a comfortable life, he will think hard before stepping out. It is the thinking that counts. Make life hard and there will be no thinking to temper the erection. My 2 cents. One should be able to live without demanding sex or expecting sex from his female partner(s). Yes. One shouldn't have to demand sex, it should be granted willingly. But a guy should expect that his wife will screw him often and for many years to come as long as the bodies and strength allows. Sex is a primal, base need for humans. Its like hunger for food, thirst for water, you cannot Zen it out. If you don't put something in your stomach, you will die. It should not be the only thing in the relationship, but it is one of the important pillars. When physical intimacy is removed the relationship starts to fester. Its biology. You can repress urges, but you can't eliminate them. Repressed urges lead to bad health or a bad psychological state. @quicksand, these ideas you're giving have one assumption: sexual urges can't be under conscious control and experienced under such conditions that allow other forms of expression. And that these conscious controls can do away with the necessity of 'expecting to be screwed' and consequently remove all sexual pressure from the female, and even the male. You're asserting the status quo. But the evidence to show the status quo is mulfunctional, and even degrading is ample. Besides, we should be careful because sex without conscious control leads to many problems. For example, personality development may be hampered, you might damage your kidneys, and last but not least, you become a sloppy lover. Zen isn't about repression. It's about expression. Free expression. Becoming a supreme lover, accepting total responsibility for your sexuality and not relying on another. @tycho How do you express yourself and not rely on another? This is possible if you can understand the mechanism of spiritual maturity exemplified in an expression like 'lose your self to gain your Self'. If you gain this 'Self' you don't rely on another.
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 12/17/2010 Posts: 1,163 Location: Sudan
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Help her raise the kids. You'd be too busy to think of other women. Parenting (responsible parenting) is no joke. "Peace is our profession, War is our business" ...Unknown
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Rank: Member Joined: 8/5/2011 Posts: 125
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I hope I dont sound like am pontificating.
Prov 6:26 says "for the prostitute reduces you to a loaf of bread, and the adulteress preys upon your very life.
Prov 5:15-19 says "15 Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well. 16 Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares? 17 Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers 18 May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. 19 A loving doe, a graceful deer— may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love."
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 11/1/2008 Posts: 834
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/2/2009 Posts: 26,330 Location: Masada
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SHAME!!! Portfolio: Sold
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.
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Rank: Member Joined: 8/11/2009 Posts: 481
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Someone ask that pastor busted on KTN. Why was the woman smilling?  "The longer the fuse the mightier the blast!"
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