@Peter no need be emotional if you have been a victim just see a physician. @Kysse violence takes many forms and am sorry to say that its men who receive the most of it silently. It builds up hence they react explosively. I am NOT advocating for any kind of violence. Its WRONG. We should all be talking our differences first

I disagree, if the woman ends up dead or paralyzed and yet there is something you could have done, you will live with the guilt forever.

I suggest you engage @Mawinder's services, they can teach him a lesson without disclosing either you or the wife are behind it. It will cost you something but they can recover it from him.

A married man once told me some women will drive you mad to the point u find urself hitting her (without even realizing it) the real man gets the courage to walk away when his limits are pushed to the extream! Its a choice you make and until ur tested u wil never know how would react

Kama hujaoa tulia,vuta pumzi siku itafika!
Ama uwe ukivisit the childrens [womens] court and see the conspiracy against men instituted!

This is controversial but hear me out. My grandfather once told me that people are just mammals, primates to be exact. The primate society is ruled with order, established through dominance. Equality in human societies is nothing more than a belief, a fallacy. Hence in any relationship, a woman is looking for security that the man provides for offspring.

A relationship where a man does not provide security or the woman does not feel secure is faulty. Such will result In the woman comparing the man to other men, esp the father, the ex or or the boss. General disrespect for the man even where he tries his best to provide for the family. In short, the woman becomes unruly. I am sure many married men have gone through this phase through their courtship and /or marriage. Yeah that phase where men feel like strangers in their own homes and the wife keeps on saying "my kitchen", "my house" and are tempted to escape to the bars and mipangos just to feel significant and influential.

Before it gets to that point, it is necessary to restore order through a show of dominance. A few slaps, some reflection and a promise that it will not recur if order is maintained is enough to restore the balance.

Word of caution, the show of dominance must be measured and intentional... make it clear that there is nothing personal, just maintaining order among the ranks.

It must not be habitual otherwise bottled anger, feeling of being trapped and resentment will arise. It must not degenerate into a drawn out cat fight otherwise the woman might be left with some doubts that maybe next time she might win.

If a man goes this route, he must also allow the woman's temper to subside, perhaps get a place to crash that night, otherwise he might wake up and find his transformer missing.

^^ words of my now deceased grandfather.

Domestic violence isn't so radically different from other forms of violence such that it's as justified as other forms of violence are justified.

For example, any of the parties at home should be justified to use violence for self defence with reasonable force.

What killed you grandfather?

^^ words of my now deceased grandfather. [/quote]

What killed you grandfather?[/quote]

Your grandfather was avery wise man.Order must always be maintained.If the man doesnt show leadership then chaos will erupt.

Those were exact words of my grandfather and my uncle. They thought me a lot that I look back now and see my good grown family, and I say, alhamdullillah!

Those who are not yet married are still in dream land.

This is what I told them here in my post #117 in 2013.