Impunity wrote:You are in your mother in laws house for some official visit,then you visit the loo for long call.Due to @maka's syndrome the thing refuses to come out honorably.You then decide to push harder and from nowhere KAPOOOOM sound comes from your rare and its magnified ten fold by the cavity in the toilet bowl.
Everyone in the seating have heard you LOUD and clear...
Wacha tu!
Nimecheka watu kwa ofisi wakakasirika
That one is embarassing but not scaring.
There was one time when I was prima and had visited some relaz in Nyeri. After some nocturnal escapades trying to woo the local girls ( I started at an early age), I was going home when I encountered a pack of dogs. Mind you it is huko ma doctor's quarters but there's bushes and small gardens in between the houses.
I thought the dogs were coming for me. It was at night and I couldn't see them but I could hear the sound of snarling teeth, drooling saliva and rustling of leaves and of course the barking as they came to finish me. I remembered a movie we had seen some months earlier (zile za Tazama Mobile Cinema - watoto kaa chini) which was about a pack of dogs that had started eating folks. Nikajua mimi kwisa.
I made a sound that I will always remember. It was a half scream half moan, like when you have a bad dream ati you're falling and you try to scream but haitoki.Either that sound scared away the dogs or they were just chasing each other and had no issue with me. Either way they just passed me.
That sound of an animal in the night which you can't see is the most scary sound. I hear if you're in the Mara or wherever and a lion roars next to your camp you can shit yourself papo hapo! But also, the sound a dying man (or boy in this case) is just as bad, hata kama ni yako.
BEER IS LIVING PROOF THAT GOD LOVES US AND WANTS US TO BE HAPPY!