This is absolutely true. The super cons are ur friends. I have been conned severally by friends and those village mates who look for your contacts even from your parents back in the village.

The most painful is of a lady friend who invited me coz we were drinking buddies,I felt touched and gave 10k to their useless goat eating even when I ate only one piece of meat (cant remember whether it was from actual goat or a maasai zebu) and the rest was muchere na mukimo. After their weeding,the stupid couples separated 18 days later ...yes 18 days later. My 10k was gone and a duvets gift which had cost me 7k.

Ata leo hiyo 17k inaniuma even if it sounds small to some.

I will personally never do a wedding and if Mrs Spear want one,my church (Roman Catholic) allows 4 pax ie couplee and witnesses which can be done one early morning.Alternatively, AG yuko but I will never get stressed by things that dont add value in my life.

Im shocked that over 40 posts there is no dissenting voice. Wish wazua could be lyk that on politics. I attend comms for friends n workmates n i dont think its a bad thing. It is part of todays Kenyan culture! It is among the few times when people meet and plan stuff together. Good for reunions etc. Many people earn less than 100k pm n yet want to hold a nice(not xtravagant) wedding. They want the parents to b involved n friends too. How will they afford it with a salo of 40k? Society came up with these comms which are much like merry go rounds where those who cant afford costly events can raise the funds. They will also be required to chip in for their friends later. Granted, some have abused this thing but on the whole I think its ok. Like this guy who had a huge comm with his parents friends dominating. The young kept off or took low profile roles in the close to 100 member comm!

Some of this "parties" are pure fund raisers. Someone is broke (or realizes shares are selling at a bargain - LOL) and decides to throw a birthday "party" for junior!!!

Then there are those "kuzindikisha" gimmicks. First the guy waits until everyone changas as much as possible then they start "kuzindikisha" business. "Spendthrift ametoa elfu tatu. Nani atamzindikisha? @BurningSpear zindikisha rafiki yako na elfu mbili (never mind @BurningSpear has already parted with 5k - 10k). Na yeye @Burningspear atazindikishwa na @McReggae na elfu moja...." Brary Gasket!!!

feel cheated... having contributed to so many weddings. are majority of wazuans already wedded hence the fait accompli? by same argument should we attend burial arrangements- people should have insurance? , harambees for the sick [why dont they have medical cover?] rushing a sick neighbour to hospital at night- shouldn't he call an ambulance?

Aren't social norms ingrained in us, as we grow... no man is an island, what we should be against is sheer exhibitionism.

Lets not get issues mixed up..... you can live without a "400-invited-guests" wedding, but you cant live with a dead body not sent off, or a sickness, or force a baby not to be born..... so burial, sickness, a pregnant neighbour who needs lift to hospital, a child who needs education etc is a must... wedding? why should i fund your pleasures?

but i can buy you a beer!

@burning... what's up with the "wendings"?

@ Wendz,i agree with you but even with the burial send off,i think peeps are talking it to far. What is the point of budgeting for a casket worth 30K if you do not have the money then ask the burial committee to pay? In my village,there is dude who died after a long illness.So people had changad for his hospital bill but then he passed on:(. So during the committee,there was a list of mpaka clothes for the family too wear,budget was huko juu like 100K ( this is little money,i know burials cost almost kama hizo weddings i see on the wedding show)but bottom line is that the burial committee was expected to raise this cash.
Guess what happened one month after the funeral? The widow went and bought a car

Wendz, you don't know how some people can be unreasonable, you refuse take part in his wedding committe then you better forget about calling him when your child is sick or you've lost a close one.

It's really about how you relate and agree, if you accept to be part of it then don't come here and complain, also note that it depends from one person to another, there are those with no partners and don't plan to marry, kuna wale walioa kitambo and wedding is not in their plans, there are those who would wish you a better wedding than they had,kuna wadaku about the same na wamejaa hapa wazua whose only job ni udaku and will never contribute!! there are those also planning a wedding in the future (best contributors), there are friends and relatives who will never desert you, then there are those who are just philanthropic and will generously contribute.....as yesewangu said before, suti, wedding gown, rings, honeymoon and such stuff should really not crop up in the committee discussions!!!!

If you are planning on a wedding in the future and want to have a wedding committee.....avoid the fellows in bold....otherwise, heartache tupu!!!