A father passing by his teenage
daughter ' s bedroom was astonished
to see the bed was nicely made and
everything was neat and tidy . Then he
saw an envelope propped up
prominently on the center of the
pillow. It was addressed 'Dad'. With
the worst premonition, he opened the
envelope and read the letter with
trembling hands:-


Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that
I 'm writing you, but I 'm leaving home .
I had to elope with my new boyfriend
Randy because I wanted to avoid a
scene with Mom and you. I 've been
finding real passion with Randy and
he is so nice to me. I know when you
meet him you'll like him too - even
with all his piercing , tattoos , and
motorcycle clothes. But it 's not only
the passion Dad, I'm pregnant and
Randy said that he wants me to have
the kid and that we can be very happy
together . Even though Randy is much
older than me ( anyway, 42 isn't so old
these days is it?) , and has no money ,
really these things shouldn't stand in
the way of our relationship , don 't you
agree?
Randy has a great CD collection; he
already owns a trailer in the woods
and has a stack of firewood . It 's true
he has other girlfriends as well but I
know he'll be faithful to me in his own
way. He wants to have many more
children with me and that's now one
of my dreams too .
Randy taught me that marijuana
doesn't really hurt anyone and he 'll
be growing it for us and we'll trade it
with our friends for all the cocaine
and ecstasy we want. In the
meantime , we 'll pray that science will
find a cure for AIDS so Randy can get
better; he sure deserves it!!
Don 't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old
now and I know how to take care of
myself . Someday I'm sure we 'll be
back to visit so you can get to know
your grandchildren .
Your loving daughter ,
Suzie .


At the bottom of the page were the
letters 'PTO' .
Hands still trembling, her father
turned the sheet , and read :


PS :
Dad, none of the above is true. I 'm
over at the neighbour 's house . I just
wanted to remind you that there are
worse things in life than my report
card that's in my desk center drawer .
Please sign it and call when it is safe
for me to come home.
I LOVE YOU!!

It will NOT be safe for her to come back home..... wooiiii the spanking she will get.... hahaha

This is good - but for a parent you first get a cold sweat before you get to the end of the letter.

CUT IT OFF



Mr Khatendesi comes home one night, and his wife Shitienyi throws her arms around his neck: “Darling I am a month overdue. I think we are going to have a baby!”

“wow! That is great dear” says the man.

The doc gave me a test today .,…..” but until we found out for sure, we cant tell anybody ,”

The husband promises not to tell anyone.

The next day, a guy from Kenya power and lighting comes , checks on the electrcity meter and asks to see the boss of the home because they had not paid their previous monthly bill.

“Are u Mrs khatendesi?”

“Yes.”
“You are a month overdue, do you know that?”</span>

“How do you know ?” stammers the

young woman.

“Well, madam , its in our files!”

says the stima man .

“What! in your files!”
“Absolutely,”confirms the stima man.

“Well, let me talk to my husband about this tonight,” That night she accuses her hubby of telling the K P L C people about her pregnancy when they had agreed to hold it till the tests return.

The man vehemently pleads his innocence . The next day, he rushes, mad as a bull, to the stima plaza offices and shouts to the man he was shown to help him ,

“Whats going on here? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue?

What business is that of yours?” he shouts.
“Just calm down , says the official its nothing serious, All you have to do is to pay us. ”

“Pay you? Why? it is mine = my own!”

“Yes it is yours but you have to pay.”

” And if I refuse?”

”Well, in that case , sir we will have no option but to cut it off.”
“CUT IT OFF? Was that a crime? And what will my wife do then?” Khatendesi asks.

“Idont know . I guess she will have to start using a CANDLE ”

Khatendesi fainted.!

Latest news on Egypt:


نيست سايه پيدا نيست نور اگر رفت سايه سايه پيدا نيست پيدا نيست نور اگر سايه پيدا رفت سايه پيدا نيست نور اگر رفت نيست پيدا نيست سايه پيدا نيست نور اگر رفت سايه سايه پيدا نيست پيدا نيست نور اگر رفت سايه پيدا نيست نور * *

*Kwanza I nearly cried in the part where they said*: سايه پيدا نيست نور اگر رفت سايه سايه پيدا نيست پيدا نيست.

I’ll keep you updated

One woman was quoted saying,
"
سايه پيدا نيست نور اگر رفت سايه سايه پيدانيست پيدا نيست. رفت نيست پيدا نيست سايه پيدا نيست نور اگر رفت سايه سايه پيدا نيست پيدا نيست نور اگر رفت سايه پيدا نيست نور "

Very sad I tell you.

نكت!!!!كابيسا بوري!!!!!

إذا كنت تدخن الحشيش، وضمان أن يتم نقل جميع البذور

Otherwise it may prove lethal!!

لديك لنفسك الجمعة رائع

Subject: Business Proposal





I saw this business proposal which actually made a lot of sense
especially in these mututho days.

Since I cannot stop drinking it's a good idea to start a bar at home.
I'll will give my wife Kshs 2,160/- to kick start the business. This
will get her one crate of Tusker (@90 x 24) which she can sell to me at
160 making a profit Kshs 1680 which she should put in the bank while
re-investing the original capital.

Now am known to consumer roughly 2 crates/week hence she will have Kshs
3360/- weekly (or approx Kshs 13,440 monthly or Kshs 161, 280/- yearly)
in profits.

If I live for 10 years (and my liver probably bails out on me) she will
have Kshs 1,612,800/- plus interest which is enough to give me a decent
burial and bring up the kids (if any) and may be clear the mortgage and
use the remainder as her contribution on her wedding to a decent man.

Now how to convince her.... Hmmmm