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Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095
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Women want men who can protect them but wakikatiwa na watchmen wanaringa tsk!
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Rank: Elder Joined: 1/17/2013 Posts: 4,693 Location: Earth
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washiku wrote:Women want men who can protect them but wakikatiwa na watchmen wanaringa tsk! Eish lol. Watchman, Banker, Doctor, Architect, Fisherman, Politician etc, are just careers. They aren't the Man. Iknowitwasajoke 
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Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095
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There is a supermarket in Kakamega going by the name "Mama Watoto Supermarket". Now, on top the supermarket, there is a bar. Don't ask me what the bar is called. BUT, a guy is drinking in that bar. His friends call him at midnight asking for his whereabouts, the guy was taken to task trying to tell to them to come over... "Niko juu ya Mama Watoto, kujeni mupewe..
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/29/2011 Posts: 2,242
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C&P, A DEA Agent stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked to an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "okay, but don't go into that field over there...", as he pointed out the location. The DEA Agent verbally exploded and said, "look mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me!" Reaching into his rear back pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher. "See this badge?! This badge means I can go wherever I want... On any land! No questions asked, no answers given! Do you understand old man?!" The rancher kindly nodded, apologized, and went about his chores. Moments later the rancher heard loud screams, he looked up and saw the DEA agent running for his life, being chased by the ranchers big Santa Gertrudis Bull...... With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it was likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified. The old rancher threw down his tools, ran as fast as he could to the fence, and yelled at the top of his lungs...... "YOUR BADGE! SHOW HIM YOUR BADGE!" "Things that matter most must never be at the mercy of things that matter least." Goethe
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Rank: Elder Joined: 5/21/2013 Posts: 2,841 Location: Here
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Gathige wrote:
C&P,
A DEA Agent stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked to an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "okay, but don't go into that field over there...", as he pointed out the location. The DEA Agent verbally exploded and said, "look mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me!" Reaching into his rear back pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher. "See this badge?! This badge means I can go wherever I want... On any land! No questions asked, no answers given! Do you understand old man?!"
The rancher kindly nodded, apologized, and went about his chores. Moments later the rancher heard loud screams, he looked up and saw the DEA agent running for his life, being chased by the ranchers big Santa Gertrudis Bull...... With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it was likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified. The old rancher threw down his tools, ran as fast as he could to the fence, and yelled at the top of his lungs......
"YOUR BADGE! SHOW HIM YOUR BADGE!"
 Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
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Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095
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Jinsi ya kutambua talanta ya mtoto wako.. 1. Ukiona mtoto akitumwa anakataa kurudisha change, just encourage him. huyo atakuwa makanga. 2. Ukiona mtoto anaitwa anakataa kuitika,just...encourage him. huyo atakuwa waiter. 3. Ukiona mtoto anakatalia kwa karai ukimuosha, bas! huyo ni dere wa ferry! 4. Ukimtuma kila saa anaitisha za peremende kabla aende, just encourage him. huyo atakuwa karao. 5. Kale kanalala lala chini ya meza na viti na kujichafua, hako usikachape.hako ni kamekanika. 6. Na kale kanalala lala class, mbunge tunaye ama hatuna? 7. Ukiona mtoto hatokei class hata walimu hawamjui vile anakaa,just encourage him. huyo atakuwa witness kule icc . 8. Ule mwingine ana-angukanga anguka exam zote flat na bado hakufi roho...huyo mu-encourage kabisa! huyo atachezea arsenali 2030! 9. Ukiona mtoto hajui kama yeye ni wa mummy ama yeye ni wa daddy, wacha afuate line hiyo kabisa! hiyo line inaongozwa na kalonzo. 10. Ukikasirisha kijana wako alafu anakimbilia mboch kila saa, usijali. huyo atakuwa tu ka babake! 11. Na ukiona mtoto haogopi giza tangu azaliwe, mtunze hivo hivo. kazi ya manager inamngojea kenya power. 12. Ukiona mtoto anapenda kuuliza uliza vitendawili, twanga kabisa! come on! tabia gani hiyo hata wewe?Huyo atakuwa Raila💞
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Rank: Elder Joined: 5/21/2013 Posts: 2,841 Location: Here
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washiku wrote:Jinsi ya kutambua talanta ya mtoto wako..
1. Ukiona mtoto akitumwa anakataa kurudisha change, just encourage him. huyo atakuwa makanga.
2. Ukiona mtoto anaitwa anakataa kuitika,just...encourage him. huyo atakuwa waiter.
3. Ukiona mtoto anakatalia kwa karai ukimuosha, bas! huyo ni dere wa ferry!
4. Ukimtuma kila saa anaitisha za peremende kabla aende, just encourage him. huyo atakuwa karao.
5. Kale kanalala lala chini ya meza na viti na kujichafua, hako usikachape.hako ni kamekanika.
6. Na kale kanalala lala class, mbunge tunaye ama hatuna?
7. Ukiona mtoto hatokei class hata walimu hawamjui vile anakaa,just encourage him. huyo atakuwa witness kule icc .
8. Ule mwingine ana-angukanga anguka exam zote flat na bado hakufi roho...huyo mu-encourage kabisa! huyo atachezea arsenali 2030!
9. Ukiona mtoto hajui kama yeye ni wa mummy ama yeye ni wa daddy, wacha afuate line hiyo kabisa! hiyo line inaongozwa na kalonzo.
10. Ukikasirisha kijana wako alafu anakimbilia mboch kila saa, usijali. huyo atakuwa tu ka babake!
11. Na ukiona mtoto haogopi giza tangu azaliwe, mtunze hivo hivo. kazi ya manager inamngojea kenya power.
12. Ukiona mtoto anapenda kuuliza uliza vitendawili, twanga kabisa! come on! tabia gani hiyo hata wewe?Huyo atakuwa Raila💞 Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
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Rank: Member Joined: 10/8/2010 Posts: 763 Location: Intersection
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C&P (not sure if i've seen this here...)
THE ORIGINAL QUOTE
If you love someone,
Set her free...
If she comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, she never was.....
THE NEW VERSIONS R.....
Pessimist:
If you love someone,
Set her free ...
If she ever comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, as expected, she never was
Optimist:
If you love someone,
Set her free ...
Don't worry, she will come back.
Suspicious:
If you love someone,
Set her free ...
If she ever comes back, ask her why.
Impatient:
If you love someone,
Set her free ...
If she doesn't come back within some time forget her.
Patient:
If you love someone, Set her free ...
If she doesn't come back,
continue to wait until she comes back ...
Playful:
If you love someone,
Set her free ...
If she comes back, and if you love her still,
set her free again, repeat ....
C++ Programmer:
if(you-love( m_she))
m_she.free()
if(m_she == NULL)
m_she = new CShe;
Animal-Rights Activist:
If you love someone,
Set her free,
In fact, all living creatures deserve to be free!!
Lawyers:
If you love someone,
Set her free,
Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the Second
Amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom
Biologist :
If you love someone,
Set her free,
She'll evolve.
Statisticians :
If you love someone,
Set her free,
If she loves you, the probability of her coming
back is high
If she doesn't, your relation was improbable
anyway.
Schwarzenegger' s fans:
If you love someone,
Set her free,
SHE'LL BE BACK!
Over possessive person :
If you love someone
don't set her free.
MBA :
If you love someone set her free instantaneously
and look for others simultaneously
Psychologist :
If you love someone
set her free
If she comes back her super ego is dominant
If she doesn't come back her id is supreme
If she doesn't go, she must be crazy.
Somnabulist :
If you love someone
set her free
If she comes back it's a nightmare
If she doesn't, you must be dreaming.
ERP functional expert :
If you love someone
set her free
If she comes back, map her into your system
If she doesn't, carry out a gap-fit analysis
Finance expert :
If you love someone
set her free
If she comes back, its time to look for fresh loans
If she doesn't, write her off as an asset gone bad.
Marketing Specialist :
If you love someone
set her free
If she comes back she has brand loyalty
If she doesn't, reposition the brand in new market
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Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095
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Teacher: Tunga sentensi ukitumia neno "sukari" Wafula: Asubuhi tulikunywa chai tamu sana. Teacher: Wapi sukari kwa hiyo sentensi? Wafula: Iko ndani ya chai.
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Rank: User Joined: 9/6/2013 Posts: 1,446 Location: In a house
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Jamaa na mke wake waliamua kufa pamoja ili tu wasitengane wakapanda juu ya ghorofa wakahesabu 1,2....3 jamaa akaruka,mke wake akarudi nyuma na kumcheka akisema cwez kufa kwa ajili ya mapenzi kafe ww mwenyewe! jamaa kuona mke haji akafungua parachuti alilokuwa amelificha akasema ulifikiri mm mjinga nife kwa ajili yako ungethubutu kuruka ungekufa peke yako JE HAPO NANI MSALITI WA MWENZAKE? Naomba Jibu!!!
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