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Just for laughs...corner
Swenani
#2301 Posted : Friday, April 04, 2014 9:18:45 AM
Rank: User

Joined: 8/15/2013
Posts: 13,237
Location: Vacuum
If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
Rankaz13
#2302 Posted : Friday, April 04, 2014 11:01:54 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 5/21/2013
Posts: 2,841
Location: Here


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
Swenani
#2303 Posted : Friday, April 04, 2014 3:46:50 PM
Rank: User

Joined: 8/15/2013
Posts: 13,237
Location: Vacuum
Impunity, Magigi and Mukiri died and went up to heaven. The guy at the gate said “The better you were to your wife, the better kind of car you’ll get.”

Mukiri was very loyal to his wife and got a Ferrari.
Impunity fought with his wife so he got a broken down car. Magigi cheated on his wife dozens of times so he got a scooter.

One day Magigi saw Mukiri in the Ferrari crying. He asked him, “Why are you crying Mukiri?”

Mukiri answered, “I just saw my wife on roller skates.”
smile
If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
Swenani
#2304 Posted : Friday, April 04, 2014 4:04:20 PM
Rank: User

Joined: 8/15/2013
Posts: 13,237
Location: Vacuum
McReggae stammers out of a bar and rans into 2 priests. He rans up to them and says,"I’m Jesus Christ" The priests reply"No son, you are not"
McReggae says,"Look, i can prove it if he go back with you to the bar"The priests agree and when the walk into the bar;The bartender takes a look at McReggae and exclaim, "Jesus Christ, you are here again"
Mcreggae looks at the priest with an evil smile and says" what did i tell you,you heard what he called me?"
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Big chick and her hubby were sleeping. Big Chick had a bad dream, she woke up scared and cried.

Her husband comforted her and asked why she cried, she replied: “I had a dream that a very rich and handsome man kidnapped me from you.”

Husband: “It is ok honey, it was just a dream.”
Big Chick responded loudly: “That is why I’m crying.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
An 80-year old man walks into the doctor’s office for his regular check-up.

The doctor says to him, “Ahh, Njunge, how are you feeling?”
“Great,” says Njunge. “I have an 18-year old wife, and she’s pregnant with my child.”

The doctor gives a concerned look and says to Njunge, “Njunge, let me tell you a story. See, I have this hunter friend and one early morning, he goes out hunting, but is in such a hurry that he grabs his umbrella instead of his gun. So, as he is hunting, he spots a lion. He aims at the lion with his umbrella and shoots at it. Bam! The lion falls dead to the ground.”

“What?!” cries Njunge. “Why? that’s impossible! Someone else must have shot the lion.”
“Exactly!” says the doctor.
If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
washiku
#2305 Posted : Friday, April 04, 2014 5:49:08 PM
Rank: Chief

Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,095
‪UshambaNi‬...

1. Kuchukua Pande la BARAFU na kuanza kutafuta wapi linapoVUJA.

2. Kuenda Dukani kuulizia BLUE TOOTH.

3. Kuona mtu anajua kwa TV anamsalimia.

4. Kuamsha Mgonjwa ampe Dawa ya Usingizi.

5. kuPUNGUZA sauti ya redio ili asome meseji.

6. Kuenda na Spanner kwa Benki ili afungue Akaunti.
butterflyke
#2306 Posted : Friday, April 04, 2014 6:36:15 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 5/1/2010
Posts: 3,024
Location: Hapa
Swenani wrote:
McReggae stammers out of a bar and rans into 2 priests. He rans up to them and says,"I’m Jesus Christ" The priests reply"No son, you are not"
McReggae says,"Look, i can prove it if he go back with you to the bar"The priests agree and when the walk into the bar;The bartender takes a look at McReggae and exclaim, "Jesus Christ, you are here again"
Mcreggae looks at the priest with an evil smile and says" what did i tell you,you heard what he called me?"
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Big chick and her hubby were sleeping. Big Chick had a bad dream, she woke up scared and cried.

Her husband comforted her and asked why she cried, she replied: “I had a dream that a very rich and handsome man kidnapped me from you.”

Husband: “It is ok honey, it was just a dream.”
Big Chick responded loudly: “That is why I’m crying.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
An 80-year old man walks into the doctor’s office for his regular check-up.

The doctor says to him, “Ahh, Njunge, how are you feeling?”
“Great,” says Njunge. “I have an 18-year old wife, and she’s pregnant with my child.”

The doctor gives a concerned look and says to Njunge, “Njunge, let me tell you a story. See, I have this hunter friend and one early morning, he goes out hunting, but is in such a hurry that he grabs his umbrella instead of his gun. So, as he is hunting, he spots a lion. He aims at the lion with his umbrella and shoots at it. Bam! The lion falls dead to the ground.”

“What?!” cries Njunge. “Why? that’s impossible! Someone else must have shot the lion.”
“Exactly!” says the doctor.



hiyo ya McReggae ni uongo , he doesn't 'rans out', he runs outsmile
Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. - Muhammad Ali🐝
washiku
#2307 Posted : Saturday, April 05, 2014 12:36:07 AM
Rank: Chief

Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,095
Tired of everyone taunting and
cursing you?
Do you feel , like no one cares
about you anymore?
Pressure at work?
Feel like running away from this
boring life?
Fly Malaysian Airlines...and GET
LOST..!
ngapat
#2308 Posted : Saturday, April 05, 2014 9:18:39 PM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 12/11/2006
Posts: 930
A kalenjin's letter 2 her boyfriend:...
Tia jopri(geoffery) my laf, i af mist u like grazy since tisemba! Apari ya juo? mi nigo boa ila tu nimeshintwa kufanya omwag(homework) kwasapapu kila mara naguwasa wee mbensi. My laf 4 u is like te one 4 pee and negtar. Masee, eferi time i remempa tat tei kwa jini ya muti ya mabera bale mdoni, my heart pits like kudung'kudung' and i chast veel like sgreaming!,,,jienjoy SUPER SATO NJEMA.
“Invest in yourself. Your career is the engine of your wealth.”
butterflyke
#2309 Posted : Sunday, April 06, 2014 11:38:19 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 5/1/2010
Posts: 3,024
Location: Hapa
UTAJUAJE WEWE NI MZEE???

- Kama unajua ulifanya Science ikiwa na Agriculture, na GHCRE... Wewe ni mhenga.
- Kama ulicheki tv ukajua Inspekta Mwala ako na brother anaitwa Likobe..Tafadhali usiulize nywele nyeupe inatoka wapi.
- Kama ulitumia 5bob, 10bob na 20bob ya noti..Anza kupanga mazishi yako pliz.
- Kama ulipanda matatu zile watu huangaliana.... Nani kubali tu.
- Kama uliwatch tv channel inaitwa STV na bado unaandika X badala ya S...Mboss maombi kwako!
- Kama picha yako ya ID si coloured... We ni analogue. Na kama ID yako haiingi kwa wallet...Pea wengine nafasi wazaliwe!
- Kama ulikunywa soda inaitwa Softa na Babito, na juice ya Tree Top... Uko pale pale.
- Kama Primo ulifanya 8 subjects, deactivate your facebook account uanzishe familia.
- Kama uliona kipindi ya Tausi, Maria de Los angeles, na movie ya mbwa ingine
hapo inaitwa Rex... Shikamoo babu/bibi.
- Kama ushawahi pelekwa date kwa hoteli mkasomea menu nje... Wewe na akina Ole Kaparo na Ole Ntimama ni agemates.
- Kama unatambua zile era za kupigwa picha then unaingoja for a whole month ndio itoke...
Mzeiya umekula chumvi masala, chili, n.k.
- Kama ulinunua tule tu biscuits twa round twa kuuzwa peni moja... Wewe uliona Noah akitengeneza Ark!
Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. - Muhammad Ali🐝
Rankaz13
#2310 Posted : Monday, April 07, 2014 8:54:58 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 5/21/2013
Posts: 2,841
Location: Here
butterflyke wrote:
UTAJUAJE WEWE NI MZEE???

- Kama unajua ulifanya Science ikiwa na Agriculture, na GHCRE... Wewe ni mhenga.
- Kama ulicheki tv ukajua Inspekta Mwala ako na brother anaitwa Likobe..Tafadhali usiulize nywele nyeupe inatoka wapi.
- Kama ulitumia 5bob, 10bob na 20bob ya noti..Anza kupanga mazishi yako pliz.
- Kama ulipanda matatu zile watu huangaliana.... Nani kubali tu.
- Kama uliwatch tv channel inaitwa STV na bado unaandika X badala ya S...Mboss maombi kwako!
- Kama picha yako ya ID si coloured... We ni analogue. Na kama ID yako haiingi kwa wallet...Pea wengine nafasi wazaliwe!
- Kama ulikunywa soda inaitwa Softa na Babito, na juice ya Tree Top... Uko pale pale.
- Kama Primo ulifanya 8 subjects, deactivate your facebook account uanzishe familia.
- Kama uliona kipindi ya Tausi, Maria de Los angeles, na movie ya mbwa ingine
hapo inaitwa Rex... Shikamoo babu/bibi.
- Kama ushawahi pelekwa date kwa hoteli mkasomea menu nje... Wewe na akina Ole Kaparo na Ole Ntimama ni agemates.
- Kama unatambua zile era za kupigwa picha then unaingoja for a whole month ndio itoke...
Mzeiya umekula chumvi masala, chili, n.k.
- Kama ulinunua tule tu biscuits twa round twa kuuzwa peni moja... Wewe uliona Noah akitengeneza Ark!



smile Memories smile smile
Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
294 Pages«<229230231232233>»
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