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Just for laughs...corner
washiku
#2281 Posted : Saturday, March 22, 2014 12:24:17 AM
Rank: Chief

Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,095
pliz nisave na thao mbili 2,aki pliz you are the only 1 I can rely on pliz niokolee..aki nitarefund b4 friday next week! nazihitaji sana, najua huwezi lack'.....Hayo ni maneno ya mlevi mmoja,aliyesikika akiiomba machine ya ATM...najua ulikuwa ushachora vile utanidanganya, ona sasa unasmile maze!!
Rankaz13
#2282 Posted : Saturday, March 22, 2014 1:30:30 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 5/21/2013
Posts: 2,841
Location: Here
washiku wrote:
A japanese couple argued heavily in public.
Husband: takamushi jiku.
Wife: hashi jiku mishihe.
Husband: inamoto kushini hatapi.
Wife: jejeta takuna mota shinita.
Husband: kituya sitina kutara.
Wife:saka weretuna joku.
Husband: ji taka mushi.
Wife: totori yatika muniya.
You are still reading as if you understand Japanese, be serious!! Nkt


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly You got me Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

In mitigation, it almost looks like Kiswahili. Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
Rankaz13
#2283 Posted : Saturday, March 22, 2014 1:33:02 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 5/21/2013
Posts: 2,841
Location: Here
washiku wrote:
A very sad Chinese story: 朣楢琴执㝧执瑩浻牡楧㩮㔱硰执㝧执獧浻牡楧敬瑦瀰絸朣杢㑳执獧扻捡杫潲湵潣潬㩲昣昸昸㬸慢正牧畯摮椭慭敧敷止瑩札慲楤湥楬敮牡氬晥⁴潴敬瑦戠瑯潴牦浯㡦㡦㡦潴捥捥捥戻捡杫潲湵浩条㩥眭扥楫楬敮牡札慲楤湥潴昣昸昸攣散散戻捡杫潲湵浩条㩥洭穯氭湩慥牧摡敩瑮琨灯㡦㡦㡦捥捥捥㬩慢正牧畯摮椭慭敧獭氭湩慥牧摡敩瑮琨灯㡦㡦㡦捥捥捥㬩慢正牧畯摮椭慭敧楬敮牡札慲楤湥潴昣昸昸攣散散戻捡杫潲湵浩条㩥楬敮牡札慲楤湥潴昣昸昸攣散散汩整㩲牰杯摩䐺䥘慭敧牔湡晳牯楍牣獯景牧摡敩瑮猨慴瑲潃潬卲牴昣昸昸䔬摮潃潬卲牴攣散散㬩潢摲牥硰猠汯摩⌠㙣㙣㙣搻獩汰祡戺潬正潭潢摲牥爭摡畩㩳瀲㭸漭戭牯敤慲楤獵㈺硰敷止瑩戭牯敤慲楤獵㈺硰戻牯敤慲楤獵㈺硰执獧搴摻獩汰祡戺潬正瀻獯瑩潩㩮敲慬楴敶执獧搴筮楤灳慬㩹湩楬敮戭潬正漻敶晲潬 I am already crying Especially that part when she said: 汦睯攺



Hapa, hata good old uncle google, courtesy of his twin brother, translate.google.com, hasaidii!Sad
Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
Mastermind
#2284 Posted : Saturday, March 22, 2014 4:12:24 PM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 1/25/2012
Posts: 1,624
Location: Langley
A japanese couple argued heavily in public.
Husband: takamushi jiku.
Wife: hashi jiku mishihe.
Husband: inamoto kushini hatapi.
Wife: jejeta takuna c shinita.
Husband: kituya sitina kutara.
Wife:saka weretuna joku.
Husband: ji taka mushi.Wife: totori yatika muniya.







You are still reading as if you understand Japanese.

Kuweni serious!! Nkt!..
If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.
urstill1
#2285 Posted : Monday, March 24, 2014 5:11:05 PM
Rank: User

Joined: 9/6/2013
Posts: 1,446
Location: In a house
C & P

Kikuyu women don't catch feelings..they CASH feelings..so leave them A LOAN!!!
McReggae
#2286 Posted : Thursday, March 27, 2014 4:11:55 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 6/17/2008
Posts: 23,365
Location: Nairobi
The following is what a women posted on a dating forum seeking a rich husband:
"

I’m going to be honest of what I’m going to say here. I’m 25 this year. I’m very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I’m greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York.

My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?

Among those I’ve dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit.
If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden(?), $250k annual income is not enough.

I’m here humbly to ask a few questions:

1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches are only average-looking? I’ve met a few girls who don’t have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys.
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)
Ms. Pretty

A philosophical reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan below:

Dear Ms. Pretty,
I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor.
My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I’m not wasting time here.
From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.

Put the details aside, what you’re trying to do is an exchange of “beauty” and “money” : Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square.
However, there’s a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can’t be prettier year after year.

Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It’s not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worse 10 years later.

By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a “trading position”.
If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term – same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or “leased”.

Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income.This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps.

signed,
J.P. Morgan CEO
..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
washiku
#2287 Posted : Thursday, March 27, 2014 10:14:06 PM
Rank: Chief

Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,095
Wafula; Putako yuko?

Mutua; Hayuko

Wafula; Na matako?

Mutua; Nkt! Na si ameenda nayo!!!
chepkel
#2288 Posted : Thursday, March 27, 2014 11:32:45 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 4/6/2010
Posts: 741
Location: Nairobi
washiku wrote:
WORDS KIKUYUS CAN'T PRONOUNCE

1. Wheelbarrow - Hurubaro..

2. Diesel - dithoro..

3. Sunday School - Sade Skoo

4. Avocado - Ovacado / Macodofia / maguna nguii

5. Cholmondeley -
Koromondo.Shoromondo.Shomondree.AAAAGH, Kamundu kau

6. Ushindwe - Chidwo...

7. Pupils- pyupos

8. Charles - sharothi..

9. Jesse - jaythii..

10. Josiah - Johthia..

11. Grace - Girithiii.

12. Coolio - Kuria.

13. Eminem - Munene

14. Touch Me Lord - Tash Me Rod.

15. Utawekelewa - utaekerewo

16. Agriculture - ngirigasha.

17. Parallelogram - parrrrrrgram..

18. Peripheral - ferferi.

19. Minerals - minroz

20. Dyslexia - kerea..

21. Scotland - Thogoto.

22. Pumbavu - Kubafu

23. Walikuja wakishikilia bunduki - Marikuja makishikiria bonoko

24. RAILA - KIBAKI


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
Aiiiii Nani!! This one killed me!! Killed me.
Swenani
#2289 Posted : Friday, March 28, 2014 7:37:04 AM
Rank: User

Joined: 8/15/2013
Posts: 13,237
Location: Vacuum
Angelica-anne: I lost 5kgs this month
Bigchick:Gosh did you abort?
If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
McReggae
#2290 Posted : Wednesday, April 02, 2014 9:03:00 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 6/17/2008
Posts: 23,365
Location: Nairobi

On his Birthday, Peter is really upset since none of his family members or dear ones remember to wish him.

As he walked into his office, his secretary Anna said, “Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!”

He feels better knowing that at least someone remembered.


At lunch time Anna knocks on his door and says, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day outside, and it’s your Birthday, why don’t we go out for lunch, just you and me.”

Peter happily agrees and they have a sumptuous lunch. On the way back to the office, Anna says, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day… We don’t have to go right back to the office, do we?”

Peter replies “I suppose not. What do you have in mind?”

She says, “Why don't we go to my apartment, it’s just around the corner.”

After arriving at her apartment, Anna says, “Boss if you don’t mind, I’m going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I’ll be right back.”

“Ok.” He nervously replies....

After a couple of minutes Anne comes out carrying a huge birthday cake… Followed by his wife, his kids, and dozens of his friends, and co-workers, all singing “Happy Birthday”.

And Peter just sits there… On the couch… NAKED!
..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
294 Pages«<227228229230231>»
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