Marriage Bill Nyeri County
Edition:
1. Kama mimi si
mrebo,usiniabie ati mimi ni
mrebo. Ati dio tu niweze
kuigia box. Ama dio
carton. Ogea ukweri.
Sitakuuma. After all,si wewe
uriniumba. So makosa si
yako.
2. Ukinipromise utanipereka
Zanzibar,tafathari
timiza Ahadi. Si ati uniabie
tutaeda Zanzibar arafu
unipereke Nyahururu. Ama
Sagana. Kwani
Zanzibar yako inaedagwo na
Boda Boda??
3. Mimi ni mwanamke.
Nahitaji kukaa vizuri. Na
nahitaji kupewo pesa ya
kujirebesa. Sio ati kazi tu
ni kunipea shirigi hamsini
hamsini kira mwezi.
Unanipea hamsini nipereke
wapi? Kwani ni
sadaka??
4. Tukikosana,WEWE DIO
UKO KWA MAKOSA.
ALWAYS. Na hatutabishana
Kijana. Kubari makosa
na unyamaze. Na mapenzi
yaederee.
5. Kama ni date tafathari
nipereke hoteri za guvu.
Hoteri ziko na gumo.
Nimechoka kuperekwo kwa
Mama Waithera. Na
nimechoka kutumia vikobe
za
mabati. Na kukaria viti za
bao.
6. Kama mipago yako sio
kunioa,tafathari kaa bari
na mimi. Usiniretee
mushene,ati 'Oh
nakupeda,ati
Oh,wewe nitaishi na wewe
mirere'' arafu
uniwashanishe kama lorry
imeng'oka muguu kwa
barabara. Kichwa yangu
inagoga harusi,kama
yako haigongi arusi,jipe
suguri.
7. Nikiria unafaa unikamate
taitly in your arms
ukiniabia, 'Sorry baibe. It
gonna be orait' sio ati
mimi naria na wewe uko
hapo unanikodorea
maitho kama thinema.
Mùgúrúki úyú.
8. Simu yagu ni yako. Na
simu yako ni yagu.
Hakuna cha ati 'dont tash
my phone' .
Actually,kira Wednesday
tutakuwo tukibadirishana
Sim Card.
9. Abia ma EX wako wote
wakae bari na wewe. As
far as possible. Kwanza
wakiweza wahamie Meru.
Kama hawataki kuchomwo
kama mahidi. Na
uwaabie wasiwahi kukutext.
Kitu chochote. Ama
wakati wowote. Ati kukuabia
Gdnyt. Mimi dio
nafaa kudecide the kind of
night you will have.
10. Ukioba,lazima uobe kwa
sauti. Sio ati ujifiche
kwa kakona ati unaoba
kimoyomoyo,razima niskie
kire unaabia Mugu. Ama
rabda unamwabia
aniodoe kwa maisha yako.
11. Watu wetu wanakuwaga
weda wazimu.
Washana nao.
12. Razima uote na mimi.
Every night. Either uote
na mimi. Ama uote
ukitegeneza pesa. Anythng
else ni hatia. Na ukiota na
mimi uhakikishe
nimevaa vizuri. Sitaki
kuaibishwo kwa doto mimi.
13. Sipedi kukiss. I think ni
ujinga kumumunya
mudomo ya mtu
mwingine,kwani ni
peremede ya
KSL??
14. Sinaga hobby. So,sitaki
maswari za ujiga ati
'What is your hobby?' .
Actuarry hobby yagu ni
moja tu. Kukupeda. Iyo dio
hobby yangu.
15. Utanipereka kwenyu
rini? Harakisha. Napeda
kutebea.
16. We will never break-up.
Ukinipeda hauna
bahati. Utanipeda mirere.
Kama vire Yesu aripeda
Kanisa.
17. Sipedi kushikwo mkono
in public. Kwani mimi
ni mtoto?? Ama wewe ni
baba yagu??
18. Energy Drinks
nimekataa. Hizo haufai
kukunywa...Unataka Energy
ya nini??? Ya
kuniwacha???
Ama ya kutoroka??
19. Na pia sipedi kudara
darwo ovyo ovyo.
Unanidara kwani mimi ni
Pages za Bible ya
Juliani??
20. S** tutakuwa tunafanya
the godly way. Yaani
ire styro ya kawaida ya
mababu wetu. Sitaki ati
uniretee styro zingine hapa
za kishetani. Ati 'Oh
rara ivi,ati Oh weka miguu
nyuma ya kishwa...ati
Oh twede kwa kiti...' Kwani
wewe ni Devil
Worshipper??
Anyway,KARIBU KWA ROHO
YAGU.
Yours Waitherero.

A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken.

The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him.

The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink.

He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips."

The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me, too, I didn't know we had a choice."

Striking Up A Conversation


Two strangers are sitting in an adjacent seats in airplane.

One guy says to the other, "Let's talk. I hear that the flight will go faster if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The other guy, who had just opened a good book, closes it slowly, takes off his glasses and asks, "What would you like to discuss?"

The first guy says, "Oh, I don't know; how about nuclear power?"

The other guy says, "OK, that could make for some pretty interesting conversation. But let me ask you a question first:

"A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff, but the deer excretes pellets, the cow, big patties, and the horse, clumps of dried grass. Why is that?"

The first guy says, "I don't know."

The other guy says, "Oh? Well then, do you really think you're qualified to discuss Nuclear Power when you don't know shit?"

Pet Lobsters


After a day fishing in the ocean a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket. He is approached by the Game Warden who asks him for his fishing license.

The fisherman says to the warden, "I did not catch these lobsters, they are my pets. Everyday I come down to the water and whistle and these lobster jump out and I take them for a walk only to return them at the end of the day."

The warden, not believing him, reminds him that it is illegal to fish without a license. The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "If you don't believe me then watch," as he throws the lobsters back into the water.
The warden says, "Now whistle to your lobsters and show me that they will come out of the water."

The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "What lobsters?"