The Smoking Ban: After public smoking was banned in Kenya , each town clerk was assigned the duty of posting notices in Kiswahili to that effect. See how different councils posted their notice: Other councils are still working on theirs.......

The Mombasa Town Clerk wrote: Uvutaji wa sigara umepigwa marufuku kuanzia leo.Watakaopatikana wakikiuka amri hii wataadhibiwa kwa mujibu wa sheria. Nyote zingatieni.
The Kiambu Town Clerk: Wanyuanji wa thigara washunge sana . Unyuanji wa thigara bere ya watu hata huko ije umefigwa marufuku na kaju kuanjia reo.
The Machakos Town Clerk: Wavulutanji tusikala wasunge sana . Sasa kuvuluta tusikala ni maluvuku na kanzu ya Masaku itawasukulia atua kuvwa sana .
The Kisumu Town Clerk: Atenson Plis!!! Mifuto sgara adharani sasa omepigwa marofuku. Okipaatwa, ibiro yie Kodiaga! Apana furuta Plis!! Wajir Town Clerk: Habana iko buruta sigara. Yeye lishapigwa marufuk na sisi tagaamata mutu bhahala yaghe kiburuta.
Kericho Town Clerk: Gutoga leo gugunywa na gufuruta sigara sisi nagshagataasa. Haguna!! Charipu wee taona!!!
Kisii and Nyamira Town Clerk Akuna kukunywa sigara hapa ndani na inche kuansia reo. Mutakaobatikana mutakura kiboko saa hiyo hiyo. Wote munaombua kujiatari sana

Last week Saturday I went to Central Police Station to certify my documents.
When I entered at the police station, I found a police officer reading the Bible.

I then asked him ' Who killed Abel, Adam's son?"
He answered, "I don't know just ask Sergeant Wekesa over there. He is the one who deals with murder cases..."

Three Boy Scouts, a lawyer, a priest, and a
pilot are in a plane that is about to crash.The pilot says "Well, we
only have 3 parachutes, let's give them to the 3 Boy Scouts. They are
young and have their whole lives in front of them".The lawyer says
"f*** the Boy Scouts!"...The priest says, "Do we have time?"

@Wendz,
Take notice that I am seeking leagal redress and or otherwise from your estate for causing serious bodily harm to my ribcage.

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director,
'How do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized?'
'Well,' said the Director, 'we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a
teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty
the bathtub.'

'Oh, I understand,' said the visitor. 'A normal person would use the
bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.'

''No,' said the Director. 'A normal person would pull the plug. Do you
want a bed near the window?'