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bad marriage
PONDI
#11 Posted : Saturday, March 28, 2009 3:22:00 PM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 5/8/2007
Posts: 885
pole sana boss. you sound learned enough. why havent you considered seeking professional help from a qualified marriage counsellor? 2. quit drinking 'to reduce stress ya home'....for soon you shall be drinking to 'reduce stress ya DRINKING ......all on account of your wife. dude,you will self destruct. pombe has brought down so many homes....its the silent killer of many kenyan families. am sure everyone on SK knows a family that was brought down na hio pombe. 3,if you and wifey cant resolve issues,and seeing a counsellor/parents/church/best man and best woman cant resolve your issues,its best you just consider divorce. in the long run the interests of the kid are best served when you and wifey are happy...whether together or living apart ... you can come up with an arrangement whereby one of you lives with the kid,and the other party can visit. note even we men are perfectly capable and able to bring up good kids.

He who laughs last thinks slowest..
Jokimy
#12 Posted : Saturday, March 28, 2009 5:25:00 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 3/26/2009
Posts: 15
sorry man. But this aint good enough reason to separate with her unless she's moving around. Could your extra affairs be reason why love is lost? Think about it. could she be bringing in her relatives to compensate for something? If so,give it to her.

The plans of the diligent lead surely to plenty,but those of everyone who is hasty,surely to poverty.
Wendz
#13 Posted : Tuesday, March 31, 2009 11:07:00 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 6/19/2008
Posts: 4,268
@pavlov.... might work...... I dint write them,someone thought they might be useful.....

Here are true marriage advice tips will help you answer that very question! These secrets to a happy marriage come straight from the horse's mouth those who are happily married!
1. Never assume.
2. Compliment more than you criticize.
3. For each time you vent about your husband/wife to your friends,tell three positive stories.
4. Remember that it is ok to do things differently (e.g. there is more than one way to peel a potato or fold the laundry).
5. Always make time for the two of you.
6. Marry someone that you enjoy listening and talking to.
7. Remember that marriage is sometimes a bed of roses and sometimes there are thorns.
8. Remember that the best gift that you can give your children is to love their mother/father.
9. Be fair! Split the housework,spending money,etc evenly. This way you are never resentful of your partners contributions (or lack of) or expenditures.
10. Never go to bed angry. (Unless it's 3a.m. and you're exhausted,angry,and not thinking straight.)
11. Remember that people do fight. It's how you do it that matters.
12. Before starting an argument,consider if it's really worth it.
13. Fight naked. ;)
14. Agree to disagree.
15. Never,ever mention the 'D' word (divorce).
16. Do you want to be right or do you want to be married?
17. Respect each other's privacy.
18. Remember that 'love is like childhood. You need to learn to share.'
19. Marriage is not 50/50,it's two people giving 100/100 all of the time.
20. Surprise each other now and then.
21. The secret to a happy marriage is two TV's!
22. Have date night!
23. Never pass up an opportunity to say 'I love you'.
24. Hold hands.
25. Hug & kiss every day (several times a day actually!).
26. Always believe that you got better than you deserved.
27. Be quick to say 'I'm sorry'.
28. Choose the one you love,then love the one you choose.
29. Keep the in-laws out of your marriage!
30. Love isn't always a feeling,it's a decision.
31. Hang in there. It's worth it.
32. Play nice,play often,love much.
33. Never air your dirty laundry as a couple in public.
34. Never keep secrets from each other.
35. Be each other's champion. No matter what,take your husband or wife's side first!
36. Communication is the key!
37. Always respect each other.
38. Never underestimate the power of a good belly-laugh and don't be afraid to laugh at yourself.
39. It's the little things that matter most.
40. Never use the words 'Always' and 'Never' in a fight.
41. It's ok to argue,but never use curse words to express your anger.
42. Never compare your marriage to others. What you see on the outside is not always what it is on the inside.
43.Don't make love in the same place/position everytime. Variety is the spice of LIFE

Some deals are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.
Kasheshi
#14 Posted : Tuesday, March 31, 2009 11:20:00 AM
Rank: Member

Joined: 4/27/2008
Posts: 150
@ wendz,very nice and practical. The point of 50 50 sharing of work or chores may not always work especially with our traditional Kenyan men

R
Ray
#15 Posted : Tuesday, March 31, 2009 11:27:00 AM
Rank: Member

Joined: 1/9/2007
Posts: 219
@ Much Know

That's a bad thought.Controlling behaviour and manipulation does not go far.
kingfisher
#16 Posted : Tuesday, March 31, 2009 11:29:00 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 4/9/2008
Posts: 2,824
@pavlov.......we are all married coz some dudettes got pregnant....at least 95% of us.....@wendz..that is non-implementable,but thanks to whomever wrote it!!

If you have money that you expect to start using in five years,it now belongs in stocks.
When I have money, I get rid of it quickly, lest it find a way into my heart.
The Real Shaft
#17 Posted : Tuesday, March 31, 2009 11:36:00 AM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 11/19/2008
Posts: 839
tell me .... good people...

is marriage about.... do's and dont's...

or is it about enjoying life.....???

making the most of what we have...???

I'm the real Massey F.....shut your mouth
I'm the real Massey Fergu...... Shut your mouth....
brav
#18 Posted : Tuesday, March 31, 2009 12:20:00 PM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 11/26/2008
Posts: 745
All.. God hates divorce!!!

kingfisher,Wendz,Pondi,are all right,and cant add anything on top of what they've said
take their advice try make the best out of marriage,marriage entails sacrifices and lots of it,im sure there was some 'love' before,and guess what you can rekindle that ka-love,
do try talking to her not neccesarily anything constructive just talk and talk you'll realise where the problem is,including somethings bout her,her family,her friends that you didnt know, you'll kind of form an alliance with her against those who want to break your marriage.


i believe in communication.

Pombe si ya companionship,




Usichoke kutafuta salary
Burning Spear
#19 Posted : Tuesday, March 31, 2009 12:25:00 PM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 7/22/2008
Posts: 1,139
@pavlon

Pole sana,
I feel you coz ave seen the same scenario with my neighbour.

dont tell me that you live like my neighbour who normally come at nite only for the wife to refuse to open for him.She normally molests the husband infront of all people and the damn man has never slapped the wife.
The wife is a housewife and a lazy idiot who spends the day planning on how she will teach the husband a lesson.
the guy literally sleeps outside...and th damn wife is always to the mother on weekends getting some more advise.

Before marriage people should look out for these prospective mother inlaws who approaches you with fake smiles,people who are doing things in exceeding ahould be suspicious.

Never and I mean Never marry a lady who hates her father whatsoever.
Never and I repeat,you shall never marry a lady who seeks advices from her mother.

ALL THESE THINGS YOU CAN SEE THEM BEFORE SETTLING DOWN UNLESS YOU ARE BLINDFOLDED TO SEE THE GOOD SWAPPING BOTTOMS IN EXPENSE OF THE BRAIN.

DO NOT MARRY IN A HURRY COZ OF SUGARCANE YOU MAY END IN HASTE
"You're not supposed to be so blind with patriotism that you can't face reality. Wrong is wrong, no matter who says it". Malcolm X
Bobb
#20 Posted : Tuesday, March 31, 2009 12:26:00 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 9/25/2008
Posts: 52
Thanks Wendz. Thats so real.

Men should understand that spending overtime in a club is not the solution. The problem with men nowardays is that they've become 'saints' or 'wazee alright'. You are the head and the priest in that family. your presence must be felt. Everybody should respect you na mwenye anajiskia otherwise ahame,Kwani nini? WAKE UP FUNDAHHH NYINYI!!!!!!!! Mimi ndio nimeoa ama nimeolewa? How come that the wife you married now determines starehe za kwako nyumbani?

Can men behave like men. Stop giving God a difficult time. You have been given authority and you must put it in action otherwise you will answer to the almighty and explain what you deed with the authority he gave you.




BOBB
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