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Mother in-law mistreating father inlaw
Rank: Elder Joined: 6/17/2008 Posts: 23,365 Location: Nairobi
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Mpenzi wrote:Move this to Club SK and you will get ready and real advice. \Yeah akuje club!!! ..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
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Rank: New-farer Joined: 7/19/2013 Posts: 88
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I thank you all for the wonderful advice. Let me try figure out how to move the thread βI believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. That is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant.β
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
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Rank: New-farer Joined: 7/19/2013 Posts: 88
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I have started a new thread in club SK. Didn't manage to figure out how to move the whole content there. βI believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. That is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant.β
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/21/2008 Posts: 2,490
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aemathenge wrote:commando wrote:aemathenge wrote:commando wrote:Jambo wazuas. Yangu (Yetu) utaweza kweli?
I have been a peeper for sometime and know abit about this forum. Could you be so very kind and go right back into the peeping hole from which you sprouted from. Indeed. @aemathenge, I believe a wazua member also peeps sometime, the time he is not logged in. But i really respect and appreciate the advice here, that is why am washing my dirty linen here! So I will peep and post. Hope I wont offend you by posting!! You believe. Geee. I guess you believe that during the next chama meeting, you will post your wife's concerns about, well what-ever, as an agenda under any-other-business. I guess that you will suggest that as part of the group constitution, a member shall be made to state his/her marital status including mipango ya kando and progeny inside and outside wedlock. Oh. And yes, I shall take great exception in the event that you post your bedroom dirty linen on groups section of the Virtual Republic of Wazua. In any event, you do know a bit about the Republic, don't you? I believe, my foot. Indeed. @Mahegoat - Its long since you gave such a nice welcome to peepers  The man who marries a beautiful woman, and the farmer who grows corn by the roadside have the same problem
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/22/2009 Posts: 7,913
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aemathenge wrote:commando wrote:Jambo wazuas. Yangu (Yetu) utaweza kweli?
I have been a peeper for sometime and know abit about this forum. Could you be so very kind and go right back into the peeping hole from which you sprouted from. Indeed. @aemathenge - Kuwa mpole!!! Why are you so hostile to visitors. The more the merrier. Wacha watu wajae we have more [and divergent] opinions and ideas? Ni nini mbaya? Never count on making a good sale. Have the purchase price be so attractive that even a mediocre sale gives good returns.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/22/2009 Posts: 7,913
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KulaRaha wrote:You should first get him medicated...that may solve everything. Diabetics need to be treated.
Then secondly you should also pray hard, your wife doesn't treat you like that in 40 years time.
You know what they say, like mother like daughter, everytime! Wacha kutisha @commando. This not necessarily true. There are ladies who are totally different from their mothers. Parents of course have an influence but their sons and daughters also have a brain!! I have seen pastors with drank kids and drunkards who have very sober and hardworking kids. Never count on making a good sale. Have the purchase price be so attractive that even a mediocre sale gives good returns.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 5/1/2010 Posts: 3,024 Location: Hapa
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@commando, i think you need to be very practical on this regarding your father in law-, the 'obvious' would seem that you should put him into the care of someone either yourselves or employ someone to take care of her 1. What do we do to get our mum inlaw understand that what she is doing is wrong and get her to treat mzee right - about changing the mother in law's behaviour, that is unlikely to happen...just let it be and may be she may see the err of her ways one day2. Does this happen? Do old but stronger women neglect their much older/'useless' husbands at such a time of need? - i don't know but you need to deal with the issue at hand and not worry so much about on what scale this happens..3. Is this a character that can be 'seen' from a far as in, is it psb that my loving swty can possibly do the same to me? - (hizi psb na swty ni nini?  - i don't think you should prejudge your wife unless of course you have seen some tendencies. focus on making your marriage continue working and take care of the father in law all the best Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. - Muhammad Aliπ
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/11/2012 Posts: 5,222
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Rankaz13 wrote:commando wrote:Jambo wazuas.
Nimejikaribisha mwenyewe na kuanza kupost. I have been a peeper for sometime and know abit about this forum.
I have one serious family issue, and being a jaduong, i cant keep quiet. I was recently told by my better half while in tears, that my real mum inlaw is mistreating my real father inlaw. They have been married for kidu 28 years. My father inlaw is a very cool man, in his early seventies now. He is seriously diabetic. He was a truck driver and took care of his family the best he could. He is a man who cannot harm an insect. Seemingly, when he was working, he was of value to the wife, but is useless now that he is old, sickly and diabetic. He sweats so much at night-the smelly sweat-till the pillow is drenched. He has to go to the gents severally at night. His health is failing fast.
For my mum -inlaw, this is the 3rd marriage. She is a very domineering lady and has caused some troubles in my house coz of her influence on her dota-my wife-but a jaduaong wouldn't be defeated. I managed to wade her off respectfully. Her daughter is not her type, she says its her mum, but she doesn't agree with her on many fronts. We would send money to her via mpesa, but our father-inlaw wouldnt be given anything. She is in her mid fifties, into county politics. Mzee is left at home, weak, not cooked for, neglected. Aunties, uncles somehow cant face her. Currently we are mpesaing the mzee directly.
what i would like to ask wazuans is
1. What do we do to get our mum inlaw understand that what she is doing is wrong and get her to treat mzee right.
2. Does this happen? Do old but stronger women neglect their much older/'useless' husbands at such a time of need?
3. Is this a character that can be 'seen' from a far as in, is it psb that my loving swty can possibly do the same to me?
Thanks wazuans again, indeed I choose to address that. Ordinarily, those are some of the symptoms of undiagnosed diabetes. If you say he's on medication but the symptoms still persist, it could be that the diabetes is poorly controlled. Management of diabetes is more than just the medication, there also are issues to do with diet and lifestyle modification. The way I see it, you have no option but to take him in in the immediate short-term at least until the illness is well managed and his health begins to pick up. Under your roof and constant care, you'll be able to monitor his drug-taking habits as well as his diet so as to gauge adherence to prescribed treatment. Please remember that poorly controlled diabetes may eventually result in several other medical complications, all of which will compound one another. A stitch in time... At the same time, the apparent neglect by his spouse could be stressing him out which obviously doesn't augur well in so far as managing his condition is concerned. Mchukue, ishi naye kwa muda, let him have some peace of mind for a while also and hope that, as he recuperates, a solution for you will emerge. For this purpose, you may also wanna involve his other children besides your wife. This diabetes is competing with cancer in finishing us  Are there home-test kits? Test centers in/out of Nairobi?
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Rank: Elder Joined: 1/17/2013 Posts: 4,693 Location: Earth
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Karma on the way.
You will never do evil to anyone and escape the consequences.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 5/21/2013 Posts: 2,841 Location: Here
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Mukiri wrote:This diabetes is competing with cancer in finishing us Are there home-test kits? Test centers in/out of Nairobi? Apart from a few cases where it is either genetic or pregnancy-induced, diabetes is largely possible to keep at bay just by adopting a healthy lifestyle, such as managing your weight (watch BMI), eating healthy foods, keep a physically active lifestyle, etc. There're several tests for diabetes including RBS, FBS, OGTT and HbA1c. The RBS, which you can probably do at home, is more of a screening test. The rest are best done at the hospital level where thorough investigations can then be conducted. The biggest problem is that most of us have a casual approach to our health and only go to hospital when in pain. For instance, if you have malaria you'll probably have some fever, headache and joint-aches all of which will be uncomfortable enough to force you to go to hospital. On the other hand, diabetes is a bit more insidious and will rarely cause pain (except in advanced cases where organ failure begins to manifest) and for that reason most people tend to ignore the initial tell-tale signs and only go to hospital when it's too late. Some of the initial signs of diabetes are so non-specific that it's easy to dismiss them e.g the sweating, excessive urination (polyuria) and thirst (polydipsia). Thing is, please be vigilant with your health and do not neglect anything that is outside the norm. I'm not saying you should be a hypochondriac but it's better to be safe than sorry. Your health is actually your greatest asset, without it everything else that you own will be of not much benefit. Take good care of your body. Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
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