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Children born out of wedlock
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AlphDoti
#21 Posted : Thursday, June 06, 2013 5:32:36 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/20/2008
Posts: 6,275
Location: Kenya
@Wendz, the child is his. No hiding that fact. It will come out, sooner or later.
Tell the man to take it easy, mistake was already done, he can't change the situation now. No need to be stressed about it. The sooner he tells the wife the better. The wife will not divorce him because of that.

But he needs to look her in the eye, and tell her he is DONE completely with this woman. The wife needs to be sure this is the case. It will help her heal from the shock and accept this child.

The question is: is the husband to the woman with child hosting the child?
- the biological father can then convince the wife to accept the child to go live with them
- I don't see why the man should support the child at another man's house!!
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T-Bag
#22 Posted : Thursday, June 06, 2013 5:46:41 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 9/25/2008
Posts: 510
My take:-
1. The child MUST stay with the mother at all costs at least until he/she is 18 to avoid the usual mistreatment stories wa mama wa kambo.
2. Find a method/neutral people who can put the two dudes and galz together to talk thus making sure all stakeholders are in the know, disagreement galore route nonetheless must be traveled.
3. Child support amount can be agreed this to be managed jointly by mother and baba wa kambo albeit na vita kila saa(mtoto asijue storo or ajue baba ni step dad)to avoid seemingly discriminating situation leading to isolation by the half-siblings.
4. Finally if party(s) are religious the holy bible or noble quran can give fair judgments tafuta pastor wa maana ama ustadh/sheikh for grounding of agreements.

Msisahau mtoto! the interest of the child/children in the mix come first don't spread the rot into the children of both families BELIEVE ME I KNOW!
I AM trust in GOD, I AM belief in THYSELF
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AlphDoti
#23 Posted : Thursday, June 06, 2013 5:53:36 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/20/2008
Posts: 6,275
Location: Kenya
T-Bag wrote:
My take:-
1. The child MUST stay with the mother at all costs at least until he/she is 18 to avoid the usual mistreatment stories wa mama wa kambo.
2. Find a method/neutral people who can put the two dudes and galz together to talk thus making sure all stakeholders are in the know, disagreement galore route nonetheless must be traveled.
3. Child support amount can be agreed this to be managed jointly by mother and baba wa kambo albeit na vita kila saa(mtoto asijue storo or ajue baba ni step dad)to avoid seemingly discriminating situation leading to isolation by the half-siblings.
4. Finally if party(s) are religious the holy bible or noble quran can give fair judgments tafuta pastor wa maana ama ustadh/sheikh for grounding of agreements.

Msisahau mtoto! the interest of the child/children in the mix come first don't spread the rot into the children of both families BELIEVE ME I KNOW!

@T-Bag Applause Applause you don't sound like the one in 24 Laughing out loudly

IMPORTANT: child interest comes first, even in court of law. No one cares about the two adults when child is involved.

BUT: child is better off with the mother if under 7 years, but better off with biological father after 7 years. After all, she is his daughter and he's alive!!!

ADVICE: Please tell her that her marriage stands a better chance when she can let go the daughter after 7 years of age. This will remove the awkwardness between her and the husband.
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carygoh
#24 Posted : Thursday, June 06, 2013 6:54:15 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 5/4/2008
Posts: 1,703
AlphDoti wrote:
T-Bag wrote:
My take:-
1. The child MUST stay with the mother at all costs at least until he/she is 18 to avoid the usual mistreatment stories wa mama wa kambo.
2. Find a method/neutral people who can put the two dudes and galz together to talk thus making sure all stakeholders are in the know, disagreement galore route nonetheless must be traveled.
3. Child support amount can be agreed this to be managed jointly by mother and baba wa kambo albeit na vita kila saa(mtoto asijue storo or ajue baba ni step dad)to avoid seemingly discriminating situation leading to isolation by the half-siblings.
4. Finally if party(s) are religious the holy bible or noble quran can give fair judgments tafuta pastor wa maana ama ustadh/sheikh for grounding of agreements.

Msisahau mtoto! the interest of the child/children in the mix come first don't spread the rot into the children of both families BELIEVE ME I KNOW!

@T-Bag Applause Applause you don't sound like the one in 24 Laughing out loudly

IMPORTANT: child interest comes first, even in court of law. No one cares about the two adults when child is involved.

BUT: child is better off with the mother if under 7 years, but better off with biological father after 7 years. After all, she is his daughter and he's alive!!!

ADVICE: Please tell her that her marriage stands a better chance when she can let go the daughter after 7 years of age. This will remove the awkwardness between her and the husband.

@ alphadoti
i believe you meant Prison Break not 24
Think Positive Test Negative
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AlphDoti
#25 Posted : Thursday, June 06, 2013 11:04:42 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/20/2008
Posts: 6,275
Location: Kenya
carygoh wrote:
AlphDoti wrote:
T-Bag wrote:
My take:-
1. The child MUST stay with the mother at all costs at least until he/she is 18 to avoid the usual mistreatment stories wa mama wa kambo.
2. Find a method/neutral people who can put the two dudes and galz together to talk thus making sure all stakeholders are in the know, disagreement galore route nonetheless must be traveled.
3. Child support amount can be agreed this to be managed jointly by mother and baba wa kambo albeit na vita kila saa(mtoto asijue storo or ajue baba ni step dad)to avoid seemingly discriminating situation leading to isolation by the half-siblings.
4. Finally if party(s) are religious the holy bible or noble quran can give fair judgments tafuta pastor wa maana ama ustadh/sheikh for grounding of agreements.

Msisahau mtoto! the interest of the child/children in the mix come first don't spread the rot into the children of both families BELIEVE ME I KNOW!

@T-Bag Applause Applause you don't sound like the one in 24 Laughing out loudly

IMPORTANT: child interest comes first, even in court of law. No one cares about the two adults when child is involved.

BUT: child is better off with the mother if under 7 years, but better off with biological father after 7 years. After all, she is his daughter and he's alive!!!

ADVICE: Please tell her that her marriage stands a better chance when she can let go the daughter after 7 years of age. This will remove the awkwardness between her and the husband.

@ alphadoti
i believe you meant Prison Break not 24

@carygoh yes, thanks for the correction d'oh!
These stuff were the bomb, I had to start a new career to break the fascination from them!! I watched one of them once until I heard cock-crows at 5am Shame on you Shame on you
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Magigi
#26 Posted : Friday, June 07, 2013 12:56:58 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/31/2008
Posts: 7,081
Location: Kenya
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Rahatupu
#27 Posted : Friday, June 07, 2013 1:17:04 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 12/4/2009
Posts: 1,982
Location: matano manne
AlphDoti wrote:
T-Bag wrote:
My take:-
1. The child MUST stay with the mother at all costs at least until he/she is 18 to avoid the usual mistreatment stories wa mama wa kambo.
2. Find a method/neutral people who can put the two dudes and galz together to talk thus making sure all stakeholders are in the know, disagreement galore route nonetheless must be traveled.
3. Child support amount can be agreed this to be managed jointly by mother and baba wa kambo albeit na vita kila saa(mtoto asijue storo or ajue baba ni step dad)to avoid seemingly discriminating situation leading to isolation by the half-siblings.
4. Finally if party(s) are religious the holy bible or noble quran can give fair judgments tafuta pastor wa maana ama ustadh/sheikh for grounding of agreements.

Msisahau mtoto! the interest of the child/children in the mix come first don't spread the rot into the children of both families BELIEVE ME I KNOW!

@T-Bag Applause Applause you don't sound like the one in 24 Laughing out loudly

IMPORTANT: child interest comes first, even in court of law. No one cares about the two adults when child is involved.

BUT: child is better off with the mother if under 7 years, but better off with biological father after 7 years. After all, she is his daughter and he's alive!!!

ADVICE: Please tell her that her marriage stands a better chance when she can let go the daughter after 7 years of age. This will remove the awkwardness between her and the husband.


DITTO Alph,

@Wendz, simple solution:-

1. The truth will set everyone free, let the man tell it to the wife.
2. The daughter must be made to know her biological father.
3. Daughter be asked to choose between staying with the natural mother or natural father.
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