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Kikuyu dowry rules
Rank: Elder Joined: 5/26/2009 Posts: 1,793
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What is one supposed to say during the kumenya mucii visit? I already have the wazee to talk. when given a chance to talk, what do I say? How did you handle yours, for those who have gone through the process? @kabz, njunge, et al, please help.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/11/2012 Posts: 5,222
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 Whatever you say, please don't say 'Your daughter is good in bed' 
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 11/9/2009 Posts: 2,003
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Rank: Elder Joined: 5/26/2009 Posts: 1,793
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@Mukiri, wewe cheka tu. Have you done this? I doubt. @radio, give a hypothetical intro. seems wazuans elders are all on holiday. ziishe haraka so they can trickle back.
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Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095
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Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095
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kenmac wrote:I have searched the internet for comprehensive information regarding kikuyu dowry rules, and the web is getting smaller because the websites have just copy pasted from each other.
I need to know; Suppose a man did not pay dowry for his wife. In this scenario, it is against the customs and traditions for the man to receive dowry when one of his daughters is getting married. What does the culture say about a son marrying. Can the son give dowry to his fiance's family, or must the dad clear with the grandparents?
I need the help from wazua kikuyu elders. I had posed this very question to my grandfather before he went to rest(may his soul RIP)He told me a son can go ahead and marry without being held hostage by what the father did or did not do. The person who get's it tough is a daughter coz if the dad had not visited his wife's place, he must fulfill the obligation first otherwise it is a taboo for him to even think of touching a thing! Again, its a taboo for a man to ask more than he ever gave, though the way they beat that is by valuing the "sheep" higher eg If he was asked to give a bull, or 5 sheep for example, he will still ask for the 5 sheep, but now he may value each sheep at 20k or 30k etc...just as an example.
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 12/4/2009 Posts: 1,982 Location: matano manne
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kenmac wrote:What is one supposed to say during the kumenya mucii visit? I already have the wazee to talk.
when given a chance to talk, what do I say?
How did you handle yours, for those who have gone through the process?
@kabz, njunge, et al, please help. @Kenmac, have you joined kiama? Are the wazees you are taking to talk on your behalf themselves elders in the kiama? Answers to these questions might arise when you arrive and they will be better placed when getting all the fine details sorted like earlier enumerated by @Ali, on harika, mwate, mburi ya uira etc. You need to enroll in the kiama by giving the wazees their mbuzi (2) and later uhorie (1).
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Rank: Member Joined: 11/18/2010 Posts: 503 Location: Kenya
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kenmac wrote:I have searched the internet for comprehensive information regarding kikuyu dowry rules, and the web is getting smaller because the websites have just copy pasted from each other.
I need to know; Suppose a man did not pay dowry for his wife. In this scenario, it is against the customs and traditions for the man to receive dowry when one of his daughters is getting married. What does the culture say about a son marrying. Can the son give dowry to his fiance's family, or must the dad clear with the grandparents?
I need the help from wazua kikuyu elders. If you do not follow some of these traditional practices, they will come to haunt you later on. Culture is very important in as much as we have become westernized..
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 9/7/2010 Posts: 1,063 Location: Kenya
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Mukiri wrote: Whatever you say, please don't say 'Your daughter is good in bed' Okay... 
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Rank: Member Joined: 7/9/2011 Posts: 730 Location: Nairobi
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What about the children of single mothers? Obviously no dowry was paid for the mothers.... our goals are best achieved indirectly
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Rank: Elder Joined: 1/17/2013 Posts: 4,693 Location: Earth
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kiterunner wrote:What about the children of single mothers? Obviously no dowry was paid for the mothers.... I happened to witness one,where the mother had passed on and left the daughter.It's btwn a luhya and kyuk and more complicated than cord and jubilee mixed together. The girl is required to 'racia'on behalf of her mum,not full dowry, but a token given back to wazees to clear the 'hurdle' before dowry for the girl can be accepted. In short she pays for her mother. pls correct me if I got it wrong..
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Rank: Member Joined: 4/11/2007 Posts: 694
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kysse wrote:kiterunner wrote:What about the children of single mothers? Obviously no dowry was paid for the mothers.... I happened to witness one,where the mother had passed on and left the daughter.It's btwn a luhya and kyuk and more complicated than cord and jubilee mixed together. The girl is required to 'racia'on behalf of her mum,not full dowry, but a token given back to wazees to clear the 'hurdle' before dowry for the girl can be accepted. In short she pays for her mother. pls correct me if I got it wrong.. You are not wrong most families donot complicate matters for the girls. Even 5k is enough to clear the 'hurdle' @kysee call them generational curses.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 1/17/2013 Posts: 4,693 Location: Earth
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sheri wrote:kysse wrote:kiterunner wrote:What about the children of single mothers? Obviously no dowry was paid for the mothers.... I happened to witness one,where the mother had passed on and left the daughter.It's btwn a luhya and kyuk and more complicated than cord and jubilee mixed together. The girl is required to 'racia'on behalf of her mum,not full dowry, but a token given back to wazees to clear the 'hurdle' before dowry for the girl can be accepted. In short she pays for her mother. pls correct me if I got it wrong.. You are not wrong most families donot complicate matters for the girls. Even 5k is enough to clear the 'hurdle' @kysee call them generational curses. Infact they asked for apprx 5k asijipee stress. Can't wait to dance isikuti.
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Rank: Member Joined: 7/9/2011 Posts: 730 Location: Nairobi
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IMO opinion dowry and FGM are on the same level. Very outdated practices. Having said that I know I dont have a choice today our goals are best achieved indirectly
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Rank: Member Joined: 4/11/2007 Posts: 694
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kiterunner wrote:IMO opinion dowry and FGM are on the same level. Very outdated practices.
Having said that I know I dont have a choice today @kiterunner you have a choice not to get married
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Rank: Member Joined: 3/14/2012 Posts: 577 Location: Nairobi Kenya
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Motomoto wrote:kenmac wrote:I have searched the internet for comprehensive information regarding kikuyu dowry rules, and the web is getting smaller because the websites have just copy pasted from each other.
I need to know; Suppose a man did not pay dowry for his wife. In this scenario, it is against the customs and traditions for the man to receive dowry when one of his daughters is getting married. What does the culture say about a son marrying. Can the son give dowry to his fiance's family, or must the dad clear with the grandparents?
I need the help from wazua kikuyu elders. If you do not follow some of these traditional practices, they will come to haunt you later on. Culture is very important in as much as we have become westernized.. How true are these generational curses. Anyone have an example??? Before I die - i will touch the sky!!
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Rank: User Joined: 8/15/2013 Posts: 13,237 Location: Vacuum
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YoungMulla wrote:Motomoto wrote:kenmac wrote:I have searched the internet for comprehensive information regarding kikuyu dowry rules, and the web is getting smaller because the websites have just copy pasted from each other.
I need to know; Suppose a man did not pay dowry for his wife. In this scenario, it is against the customs and traditions for the man to receive dowry when one of his daughters is getting married. What does the culture say about a son marrying. Can the son give dowry to his fiance's family, or must the dad clear with the grandparents?
I need the help from wazua kikuyu elders. If you do not follow some of these traditional practices, they will come to haunt you later on. Culture is very important in as much as we have become westernized.. How true are these generational curses. Anyone have an example??? Mawinder is a good example If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
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Rank: Elder Joined: 12/17/2009 Posts: 3,583 Location: Kenya
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YoungMulla wrote:Motomoto wrote:kenmac wrote:I have searched the internet for comprehensive information regarding kikuyu dowry rules, and the web is getting smaller because the websites have just copy pasted from each other.
I need to know; Suppose a man did not pay dowry for his wife. In this scenario, it is against the customs and traditions for the man to receive dowry when one of his daughters is getting married. What does the culture say about a son marrying. Can the son give dowry to his fiance's family, or must the dad clear with the grandparents?
I need the help from wazua kikuyu elders. If you do not follow some of these traditional practices, they will come to haunt you later on. Culture is very important in as much as we have become westernized.. How true are these generational curses. Anyone have an example??? we still believe in these - I thought these are stuff pastors use as a marketing gimmick to shika the gullible
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Rank: Elder Joined: 11/26/2008 Posts: 2,097
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Will this ever happen in the a Kenyan marriage?? Quote: A family in Lagos, Nigeria, provide a refreshing contrast. Their son-in-law, Dele, explains:
"My wife's family relieved me of many of the expenses that go with the traditional bride-price ceremony, such as buying expensive changes of clothing. Even when my family presented the bride-price to them, their spokesperson asked: 'Do you want to take this girl as a wife or as a daughter?' Together my family replied: 'We want to take her as a daughter.' After that, the bride-price was returned to us in the same envelope. "Never regret, if its good, its wonderful. If its bad, its experience."
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 5/13/2010 Posts: 869 Location: Nairobi
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@Guka, what happens when a guy wants to marry after divorce from the first wife? Is it different for a lady? ....above all, to stand.
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