aemathenge,hiyo ni kali sana..hahaha,my ribs are aching.

@Chepkel

I am already on the Administrator's (Prefect)little black book so if I translate, I could get eviction orders.

Sorry my friend.

copy paste
An older white haired man walks into a jewerelly shop with a much younger woman. He asks to see some of the jewels the store had, the sales guy shows them a gold necklace and tells them its worth 20000 bob. The guy not impressed asks the sales person to show him the real thing. The guy opens a cabinet and chucks out a... diamond ring worth 800'000 bob. The older guy removes a cheque book and writes a cheque with the ammount. Then tells the sales guy, "since today is a friday and the banks will be closed 4 the weekend. I'l leave you with the cheque and once you confirm its legite i will send someone on monday to come and collect the ring." On monday morning the sales calls the man and tells him that the cheque had bounced. Of which the man answers, "I know but you cant imagine the kind of weekend i had"

@mahegoat


AYUBA bought a new mobile.
He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said, 'My Mobile No. Has
changed. Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610'
============ ========= ========= =====

AYUBA: I am Proud, coz my son is in Medical College.
Friend: Really, what is he studying?
AYUBA: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.
============ ========= ========= =====

AYUBA: Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
AYUBA: Can I take it tomorrow, tonight is final game.
============ ========= ========= ====

AYUBA : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
AYUBA : No, I'll also stay with your sister.
============ ========= ========= ====

AYUBA : People consider me as a 'GOD'
Wife: How do you know??
AYUBA : When I went to the Park today, everybody said, Oh GOD! U have come
again..
============ ========= ========= =====

AYUBA complained to the police: 'Sir, all items are missing, except the TV
in my house.'
Police: 'How the thief did not take TV?'
AYUBA : 'I was watching TV news...'
============ ========= ========= =====

AYUBA comes back 2 his car & find a note saying 'Parking Fine'
He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole 'Thanks for compliment.'
=========== ========= ========= =====

How do you recognize AYUBA in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the
board.
============ ========= ========= =====

Once AYUBA was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other. So the
man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast announced
that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.
============ ========= ========= =====

AYUBA in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and Says'
Hello, how did you know I was here?'
============ ========= ========= =====

AYUBA: Why are all these people running?
Man: This is a race, the winner will get the cup
AYUBA: - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?
============ ========= ========= =====

Teacher: 'I killed a person' convert this sentence into future tense
AYUBA: The future tense is 'u will go to jail'
============ ========= ========= =====

AYUBA told his servant: 'Go and water the plants!'
Servant: 'It's already raining.'
AYUBA: 'So what? Take an umbrella and go

Mark was not feeling well, bad enough that his wife Sharon had to go and get the test results from the doctor.

"Now Sharon, I don't exactly know what is the problem -- Mark may even die if he doesn't get the right treatment. The only thing is the right treatment is going to seem a little strange. Mark needs to golf as often as he has strength and you need to give him all the sex he can handle." Sharon nodded and left.
When she got home, Mark was anxious to find out what his test results were.

"Well Sharon, what did Doctor have to say? Sharon looked him straight in the face. "Your gonna die."