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Just for laughs...corner
nostoppingthis
#1741 Posted : Thursday, September 19, 2013 5:08:20 PM
Rank: Chief

Joined: 8/24/2009
Posts: 5,909
Location: Nairobi
An Omera sent Kshs 500 via MPESA on Valentine's day to the girlfriend...

The girlfriend gets so mad and calls him!!! "Sweety seriously, kwani mapenzi yetu ni 500? Kwanza siku ya valentines? You are so mean, I regret meeting you!!!"

Omera from the other end of the line, "jaber, stop torturing yourself with lack of information!!! I only sent you MPESA so that I can get to know your full names....I'm from DT-dobie and I didn't know which names to put in the logbook"
Rankaz13
#1742 Posted : Thursday, September 19, 2013 9:58:40 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 5/21/2013
Posts: 2,841
Location: Here
Topesafi wrote:
Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw.
So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language.

He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his
knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion.

The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts
masturbating.

The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the f*** is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!".

The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
Magigi
#1743 Posted : Friday, September 20, 2013 9:48:28 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 3/31/2008
Posts: 7,081
Location: Kenya
Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

xyzee
#1744 Posted : Friday, September 20, 2013 10:59:15 PM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 1/9/2009
Posts: 1,262
C&P

If women ruled the world there would be no wars just jalous countries not talking to each other
McReggae
#1745 Posted : Saturday, September 21, 2013 8:23:35 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 6/17/2008
Posts: 23,365
Location: Nairobi
Hahahahaha! Ati Jubilee can even steal a vote of thanks! Jokenya yawa!
..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
4lourBliss
#1746 Posted : Saturday, September 21, 2013 10:59:09 AM
Rank: Member

Joined: 5/9/2013
Posts: 285
Location: hapakule.
Rankaz13 wrote:
Topesafi wrote:
Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw.
So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language.

He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his
knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion.

The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts
masturbating.

The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the f*** is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!".

The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly



Applause Applause Applause Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.
washiku
#1747 Posted : Saturday, September 21, 2013 11:26:08 AM
Rank: Chief

Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,095
A Luhya lady fainted outside kenchic, a crowd gathered and one person shouted, "give her some water!" She opened one eye and told the guy "ondoka hapa wewe, mshensi... ningetakeko maji, ningefaintiko nje ya Nairobi water"
Mukiri
#1748 Posted : Wednesday, September 25, 2013 7:47:14 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 7/11/2012
Posts: 5,222
Those men going home today from Saturday, claiming they were hostages... Mungu anawaona!

Proverbs 19:21
vky
#1749 Posted : Thursday, September 26, 2013 1:23:26 AM
Rank: Member

Joined: 6/17/2010
Posts: 572
alexander graham bell breaking up with his girlfriend shortly before inventing the telephone;

bell: whats the matter sweets

girlfriend: i feel like i dont know you anymore, its over between me and you and dont even think of calling me

bell: mmmmhh
'One headache for famous medieval holy people was that someone might murder you to acquire your body parts for the relics trade'
McReggae
#1750 Posted : Thursday, September 26, 2013 3:00:06 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 6/17/2008
Posts: 23,365
Location: Nairobi
LETTER TO ALSHABAAB FROM KISUMO...

Dear mar chieth??

alsabab, ong'echegi si you come to kisumo, we tame the setan in your bodies ong'ogruogegi!...

how can you attack pregnant women and innocent children kasto you say ni nyi nya nye nye nye you cowards chiedhegi! si mukuje kisumu nkt, the rectum of your mothers nkt!

infact the rear organ of your fathers nkt. your grandmother's pancreas too nkt. your uncle's duodenum bende nkt!

nkt if you come to kisumo, only oyoo, kidero, and gor mahia kondele branch is enough to subdue you, you entrails of Lates niloticus!

if you attack jane adika's house in nyando, that has ten in one floors, the next day she will say "sirikali tafadhalii niko saidi mbaya kabisaa, hata alsabab singine niliattack hapa sijui nimeenda wapi, hata wait widow nimeenda sooote! sirikali tafadhaaali"

still in nyando it will take only a few minutes and miguna miguna will peel back your masks, and expose your identities you tails of Canis lupus familiaris!

punde modenyogi, come to alego tat yien and experience the power of manayasi. in alego we keep lightning and thunderstorm in a bottle and prescribe it to chiedhe kaka un, you bone marrows of a Chamaeleonidae nkt! we will make you eat those grenades and bullets if you dare step in alego. your private parts will grow on your foreheads and become public parts sianda pakagi.

try your cowardice tactics in kisumo and you will know why a stone is not somebody's mother. bi uru chieeeeth awacho ayueyo!

yours ayam not even in kisumo,
..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
294 Pages«<173174175176177>»
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