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Apostle James Maina Ng'ang'a, allegedly drunk and violent
Tokyo
#121 Posted : Thursday, August 13, 2015 2:38:55 PM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 10/9/2006
Posts: 1,502
T-Bag wrote:
Tokyo we need to talk! I have the same enterprising ideas, we make it a Ltd company (not a co-operative) with excellent employees from Pastors, ushers a modern choir, a serious Katiba and a syllabus to boot. As long as Christ is at the center of the mix, we will be successful. No tricks, no magic miracles etc just plain Gods word for the modern civilized man.

You will be the executive chairman, I will head innovations coz ultimately we will have a downloadable church app on adroid to widen the reach to accomodate the modern man's lifestyle.


Word Man. An incoherent tongue talker in the mix. Sheep will be more confident
work to prosper
Swenani
#122 Posted : Thursday, August 13, 2015 4:02:17 PM
Rank: User

Joined: 8/15/2013
Posts: 13,237
Location: Vacuum
T-Bag wrote:
Swenani you are welcome, we are an equal opportunity employer.

Required Education & Experience:
• Bachelor’s Degree Financial Engineering.
• CFA designation strongly preferred.
• MBA desired.
• Extensive experience in preparing cash forecasts and cash flow analyses.
• Experience in the preparation of financial schedules and KRA filings including some disclosures.
• Experience in building complex financial models to evaluate various financial plans.
• Experience in presenting and preparing proposals to recommend new products/services.
• Experience leading, coaching and developing staff.
Required Skills, Knowledge & Competencies:
• Knowledge of investment portfolio strategy, banking, and financial instruments.
• General knowledge KRA reporting requirements for investments and other financial instruments.
• Knowledge of treasury software expertise a plus.
• Advanced analytical, organization, and interpersonal skills.
• Advanced spreadsheet and modeling skills.
• Excellent collaboration, verbal and written communication skills.
• Able to break down problems into meaningful parts and come to rational and well-thought out conclusions.
• Demonstrated strong project management skills.
• Attention to detail and accuracy.
• Interested in process improvement.
• Willing to adapt quickly to quick changes in direction.
• Internally motivated to seek out answers, generate ideas, and develop new skills.

\

Below is my application letter


Dear Mr T-Gunia,

Further to your advertisement on the wazua website and reference to our earlier discussion, I would like to apply for your head of treasury vacancy in your church.

As a ACCA qualified professional with a degree in financial engineering and MBA in finance, I'm up to date with current accountancy practices in swindling, tax evasion and offshore investing and banking, I feel that I have all the relevant working experience and academic qualifications that you are looking for in a candidate.

My extensive experience of finance and management is well documented in the human resource files of my previous employees. In it you will see that I can miraculously lead, provide and participate in the financial and operational direction of a church that will reach its prophetic growth targets profitably. All of this is on top of my ability to manage and bribe government officials including KRA.

Through the help of Mawinder,I possess a pro-active management style, a ‘can do’ attitude towards seemingly unsolvable problems and am comfortable with being the ‘go to’ financial scandals person in Kenya.

In my current position I am responsible for producing accounts, cash flow, analysis, offshore investment and banking, financial strategy and reporting back to both Pastor Kanyari and pastor Nganga. Over the past 12 months I have swindled church goers over KES 20,000,000 by streamlining tithing processes and banking in pastor Nganga's private offshore bank accounts. On top of this I possess strong hacker skills and Microsoft Office skills, and have the required communication skills needed to build long lasting relationships with the church goers.

I hope you will give me the opportunity to discuss my application with you in more detail as I am very excited at the possibility of working for your church.

Yours sincerely,

Swenani

If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
streetwise
#123 Posted : Thursday, August 13, 2015 5:08:25 PM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 6/23/2011
Posts: 1,740
Location: Nairobi
And to add to it all you wonder why the paster was found drunk.

Ofcourse I can swear the guy has never stepped in a bar, he was right on that one.

You see in such churches in order to be economical with the poor man money that they receive and in order they buy expensive cars and suits then you need to save. One way is instead of buying the expensive church wine just go to Kibra , on foot and buy a jerrican of Cham. I the prayer sessions last long enough and the pastor takes three tots we will be high on spirits ( Cham spirits) and the church goers will think he has been possessed by the holy spirit.

Why spend money on what the church goers will not see.
Shak
#124 Posted : Wednesday, August 19, 2015 3:03:40 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 2/22/2009
Posts: 2,449
Location: Africa
Arrested and currently being held at Gigiri cop station
Shak
#125 Posted : Wednesday, August 19, 2015 3:13:32 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 2/22/2009
Posts: 2,449
Location: Africa
.
mawinder
#126 Posted : Wednesday, August 19, 2015 4:37:08 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 4/30/2008
Posts: 6,029
Shak wrote:
Arrested and currently being held at Gigiri cop station

Why Gigiri?Hope some of my boys in Gachie have been arrested and are in the same cell so that they deal with him!!!!
freiks
#127 Posted : Wednesday, August 19, 2015 4:56:51 PM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 6/8/2010
Posts: 1,734
mawinder wrote:
Shak wrote:
Arrested and currently being held at Gigiri cop station

Why Gigiri?Hope some of my boys in Gachie have been arrested and are in the same cell so that they deal with him!!!!



GIGIRI thats where embu county speaker reported after kidnap theory
Life is an endless adventure
kaka2za
#128 Posted : Wednesday, August 19, 2015 6:35:05 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 10/3/2008
Posts: 4,058
Location: Gwitu
freiks wrote:
mawinder wrote:
Shak wrote:
Arrested and currently being held at Gigiri cop station

Why Gigiri?Hope some of my boys in Gachie have been arrested and are in the same cell so that they deal with him!!!!



GIGIRI thats where embu county speaker reported after kidnap theory


Gilgil and Gigiri are two different places!
Truth forever on the scaffold
Wrong forever on the throne
(James Russell Rowell)
harrydre
#129 Posted : Wednesday, August 19, 2015 8:25:11 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 7/10/2008
Posts: 9,131
Location: Kanjo
hii familia iache ujinga. whether Ng'ang'a is hanged or jailed for life will not bring their mother back, what they should do is get an out of court deal with Ng'ang'a say 50 million to care for the kids left behind.

Yes he will be arrested today, taken to court and in few days he will be out, then what?
i.am.back!!!!
murchr
#130 Posted : Wednesday, August 19, 2015 8:28:33 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 2/26/2012
Posts: 15,980
harrydre wrote:
hii familia iache ujinga. whether Ng'ang'a is hanged or jailed for life will not bring their mother back, what they should do is get an out of court deal with Ng'ang'a say 50 million to care for the kids left behind.

Yes he will be arrested today, taken to court and in few days he will be out, then what?


STUPID!!!

The idiot should rot in jail for causing death while driving while drunk and uninsured.

He has hired Cliff Ombeta as his lawyer so yes that should tell you something.

If you dint know this is what section 12 of Cap 403 of the laws of Kenya.

Careless driving causing death: Life Imprisonment. This is being treated like murder.
Driving under influence of alcohol: A fine of Ksh 500, 000 or ten years in jail or both.
"There are only two emotions in the market, hope & fear. The problem is you hope when you should fear & fear when you should hope: - Jesse Livermore
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