An ingenious example of speech and politics occurred recently in the United Nations Assembly and made the world community smile.
The Palestinian Representative's Speech at the UN:

'Before beginning my talk I want to tell you something about Moses.
...When he struck the rock and brought forth water, he thought, 'What a
good opportunity to have bath!'
He removed his clothes, put them aside on the rock and entered the water.
When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished.
An Israeli had stolen them.'
The Israeli representative jumped up furiously and shouted, 'What are you talking about? The Israelis weren't there then.'

The Palestinian representative smiled and said:
'And now that we have made that clear, I will begin my speech.

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SPELLING
TIPS :omission of letters when writing can have disastrous
consequences: A Husband sent a message to his wife: "I'm having a
wonderful time here, I wish you were HER".

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Deejaying

KTN has employed
DJs to mix sports news: "Sofapaka beat harlequins by three wickets in a
tennis match that was played at muthaiga golf club. The winning goal was
scored by Pamela jelimo who ran the london marathon in a subaru impreza
during the tusker safari sevens rally"

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Quotes Quota:
1. There is no economy in going to bed early to save on power if the results is TWINS

2. Men are born between the legs of a woman and they spend their time trying to go back there..This is called homesickness

3. Women have been found to be the best structural engineers because they can demolish an erection without destroying the structure

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How India got its Name!!! The King and the Queen of India were having a romantic night .The king was busy thinking about the name to give his country spent a lot of tome without getin in. At one point, the queen shouted ITS IN DEAR!!!!...the king respnded..thats it...IN DEAR...INDIAAAAAA!!!!!

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i met her in a pub.nyc curves n all.she wz cold n sweatin profusely.so i
grabbed her,took her 2 my table,removed her top n put my lips on
hers...oooh,my beautiful bottle of tusker!

.....smiling!!!!

Umechizi!

A Catholic priest and an Anglican Vicar's cars collide. Both cars are wrecked but amazingly neither one of them is hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the Priest says, "So you're a Vicar. That's interesting; I'm a Priest. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace." The Vicar replies, "Oh, yes, I agree. It's a miracle that we survived and are here together." the Priest says "And here's another miracle ,my car is destroyed but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink the wine and celebrate our good fortune," he says, handing the bottle to the Vicar. The Vicar nods in agreement, opens the wine, drinks half of it, and hands it back to the Catholic Priest. The Catholic priest takes it and puts the cap back on. "Aren't you going to have any? asks the Vicar. "Not right now," says the Catholic priesti. "I think I'll wait until after the police make their report

about this accident."

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A preacher was talking to a Sunday School class about kindness to animals. He cited the Biblical references to support his case.He then said "Now let's suppose that you saw a bad person cutting off the tail of a cat. What Biblical quotation would you use to tell him of the wrong he was doing?" A kid rose up and said ..... "what God hath joined together, let no man put asunder. (Mt. 19:6)"

all of u guys r sick. lol!!