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Having A Really Bad Day! You will change your mind after this....
Rank: Member Joined: 3/27/2007 Posts: 57
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There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away." "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 11/12/2009 Posts: 925
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The Reverend Francis Kamau woke up Sunday morning, and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny day, decided he just had to play golf. So... he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day.
As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Kamau headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his Parish. Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church!
At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, "You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?"
The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not." Just then Father Kamau hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. IT WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE!
St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, "Why did you let him do that?"
The Lord smiled and replied, "Who's he going to tell?"
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/31/2008 Posts: 7,081 Location: Kenya
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/19/2008 Posts: 4,268
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hehehehehe... that "Father"..... bragging rights denied!!!
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/31/2008 Posts: 7,081 Location: Kenya
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....Remember Fathers are allowed to take afew of EABL shares!!! I think the joy of having scored that high was too much to keep to himself. He must have drunk just to share it with other fathers...Thats why man was thrown out of the Garden of Eden.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/2/2007 Posts: 8,776 Location: Cameroon
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Hehehe poor father! TULIA.........UFUNZWE!
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Rank: Elder Joined: 10/1/2009 Posts: 2,436
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Guys this is the reply I got from BMW (SA)to my application for the BMW X6. At the end there's a picture of peanuts,which they very kindly pointed out is reminds them of my payslip.
Dear Gatuang'ong'o,
Thank you for your interest in the new BMW.
BMW SA acknowledges your dream of owning one. We however regret to inform you that after looking at your payslip even after your Bonus, your application was unsuccessful and frankly, you can never afford a BMW in the near future. Not even a second hand one. Please learn to temper your ambitions realistically.
We appreciate your dreams and your desires but our brand is not for the third class people like you.
We would be glad if you don’t insult us with your payslip again, and have indeed forwarded a copy of it and your application to our lawyers for further action.
I have also forwarded your details to TATA, Used Old Cars Division, as well as to ZONGSHEN MOTORCYCLES FROM CHINA for consideration.
Regards,
General Manager: BMW Brand Management
011 - 4766 BMW (269)
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Rank: Member Joined: 5/12/2009 Posts: 266
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@ intellgiesia .. a good one.. did it actually happen...
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 11/12/2009 Posts: 925
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One evening a father overheard his son saying his prayers "God bless Mommy, Daddy and Grammy. Goodbye Grandpa."
Well, the father thought it was strange, but he soon forgot about it. The next day, the Grandfather died.
A month later the father heard his son saying prayers again: "God bless Mommy. God bless Daddy. Goodbye Grammy." The next day the grandmother died. Well, the father was getting more than a little worried about the whole situation.
One week later, the father once again overheard his sons prayers. "God Bless Mommy. Good bye Daddy."
This nearly gave the father a heart attack. He didn't say anything but he got up early to go to work, so that he would miss the traffic. He stayed all through lunch and dinner. Finally after midnight he went home. He was still alive! When he got home he apologized to his wife. "I am sorry Honey. I had a very bad day at work today."
"You think you've had a bad day? YOU THINK YOU'VE HAD A BAD DAY!?" the wife yelled, "The mailman dropped dead on my doorstep this morning!"
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 11/12/2009 Posts: 925
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A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed... driving his partner nuts.
Finally his exasperated partner says, ''What the heck is taking so long? Hit the ball!''
The guy answers, ''My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot.''
''Give me a break! You don't stand a chance of hitting her from here.''
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Having A Really Bad Day! You will change your mind after this....
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