@dunkang Spoken like a true cynic. Who broke your heart? Pole baba.
@rayeeee What you've said is true. Love is simple but very much misunderstood. In my own life and experiences, I've generally found that the Biblical definition of love holds, irrespective of the type of relationship be it filial, platonic or romantic.
i.e. If someone loves you, they're patient with you and kind towards you. Generally speaking, this is a person who is not jealous of you and your accomplishments/successes in fact they celebrate with you. They also not conceited proud or rude towards you - or others for that matter.
They don't insist on their own rights or having their own way in the relationship but incorporate and seek your point of view.
This is someone who's not constantly irritable with you or forever reminding you of the wrong things you did to them x-years ago. Though wronged, they're able to forgive, overlook your fault and move on together with you.
When something goes wrong, or they see an injustice they not happy about it. But rather rejoice when the truth wins out. (So to be able to love you they must therefore be aware of what is true/just and what is not)
True love doesn't easily give up on you or the things they hold dear, It's hard for them to lose faith but instead they're always hopeful and so can endure even through the most difficult circumstances.
We're all human so we may fail on many accounts on the above. The trick is to look at the general trend of the person's actions towards you. For love is concrete! It's expressed in the person's words & actions. It is a choice, not some mystical, amorphous thing in the air.
On desire, you can approach it from a few different perspectives;
- A wish or longing.
- A request or petition.
- Sexual appetite; passion.
So to answer your other questions;
(based on the assumption that you're referring to romantic love/desire)
- When you like someone you can expect to be attracted to their physical appearance at first. But find that they're not necessarily as pretty on the inside i.e. heart and state of mind as they are on the outside. For you to remain attracted to them, their personality/character must match or exceed how good they looked on the outside.
- Yes, you can love someone without desiring (i.e. being sexually aroused by them). You will however desire (i.e. wish) the best for them.
On the other hand it's also natural to desire someone you love. However, unrestrained desire turns to lust. And when lust is acted upon, you loose the very thing that you desired (i.e. wanted/longed for) that is the person and a love relationship. Desire alone cannot sustain a healthy relationship, it is and must be propped up by love. Where love (as indicated) is not in the mix that's when you get the corrupted confusing notions of love/lust/desire.
Généralement, les gens qui savant peu parlent becoup, et les gens qui savant beaucoup parlent peu.
- Rousseau.