Break Up 101

i remember sometime back in college.. i was reeling from the drama associated with a broken relationship.. and this dude thought to encourage me on a spiritual context..quoted a verse from the Bible..

1John 2:19.." they went out from us..but they did not really belong to us..for if they had belonged to us they would have remained with us..but their going showed that the did not belong to us."


..i think i was rather bemused at that than encouraged..somehow someone had found a biblical basis to justify being dumped? How now? LoL!!


Anyway..sometime later..i was watching madea goes to jail..when i got to learn of this.. and it all made sense somehow.. Hope it helps someone out there.



I have come to realize that we are, everyone of us, who we are.. and we do not change just because someone wants us to.. Its just the nature of people. True, once in a while we will try to change depending on the significance of why we want to change..especially for other people..but as that significance wanes over time.. we slide back to whom we are..much to the chagrin of those who thought we were changing for them. It’s just the way it is.



Maybe it would be better if instead of struggling to change ourselves..we’d just work on growing up..developing to a better “me”..and do that for our own selves and not for other people.. I think a lot of unnecessary drama and pain would be avoided.. Most heartache I know has come from people trying to “change”..and then realizing they cannot.. People are just who they are..and they won’t change just cause you want them to. What do you do then?..just try be a better person..


when you get your heart broken...when something you care about is torn from you..that u feel your insides tear apart....don't fear..wounds heal...hearts mend..bruises fade away with time..no matter the hurt..the pain..

..it's ok to sit around, be depressed for a minute, cry about it, do what you have to, but don't stay there too long. get up and go on with your life..



This is what I've learned in all these years on this earth. If somebody wants to walk out of your life, let them go!!!


..Especially if you know you've done everything you can do. If you've sat around and been the best man or the best woman you can be and they still want to go, let them go. Whatever they're running after, in a minute they'll see what they had, but by then it's gonna be too late....’Cause you’ll sit there and realise half these people you’ve been sittin around cryin about, in 2-3 years from now you won’t even remember their last name!


How many times you seen folk somewhere and you go, “what the hell was I THINKING?! I’ve been there, thought, What was I going through? I must’ve been lonely as hell to hook up with you!!!


Some people come into your life for a lifetime. Some come for a season. You've got to know which is which. And you're always gonna mess up when you mix seasonal people up with lifetime expectations


I put everybody that comes into my life in the category of a tree. Some people are like leaves on a tree. The wind blows -- they're over here. They're unstable. It blows the other way -- now they're over here. The season changes. They wither and die. They're gone. Most people in the world are like that. They're just there to take from the tree. They ain't there to do nothing but take and give shade every now and then. That's all they can do. But don't be mad if people are like that. That's who they are. That's what they were put on this earth to be, a leaf.



Some people are like a branch on that tree. You've got to be careful about them branches too cause they'll fool you. They'll make you think they're a good friend and they're real strong, but the minute you step out there on them they'll break and leave you high and dry.


Then, there are people who are like roots at the bottom of the tree. If you find yourself two or three people in your entire lifetime that are like the roots, then you are blessed...totally and completely blessed!!!


...Because they're the kind of people that ain't going nowhere. They ain't got to know what they're doing for you, but if those roots weren't there that tree couldn't live. You understand? A tree could have a hundred million branches, but only a few roots down at the bottom to make sure it gets everything it needs.


The roots don't care nothing about being seen. All they're there to do is hold that tree up, to make sure it stays in the air. It comes from the earth to give that tree everything it needs.



That's what relationships should be about. That's what you need,.. people who want to be in your life for the right reasons.



If somebody wants to walk out of your life, you've got to LET THEM GO!


When you learn to love yourself, you will end up giving standards to everyone around you. Again, I repeat with emphasis, if they don't meet those standards, you have to let them go, because they might be a leaf. And forgive them with all your might.



Learn to just let people go Ain't nobody said it was gonna be easy, but it'll get easier when you learn how to love yourself. When you get to a point in your life when you look at people and you go "Okay, wait a minute. It's you or me." You WILL make a decision.



And I never throw nobody away. I've never in my life just thrown somebody away. "Look, don't bother me no more. Don't talk to me." I've never done that. What I do is I tell 'em and say, "Look, this thing you're doing right but here, that's gonna cause a problem. You need to fix that cause if we're gonna be friends, if we're gonna be cool, you gotta fix that. And if you don't, we're gonna have an issue."



If you see somebody fix it or they're even trying to fix it, that's somebody that cares. Keep those people around. That's a leaf that's trying to grow up and be something else. You understand? But if you tell somebody, what you're doing is hurting me and I need you to stop it and they keep doing it, they don't care. So move on. Let 'em go. No matter how much it hurts, let 'em go.




And it'll get easier. I promise you. Every day it'll get easier and easier and easier, but you just gotta make it through.



You gotta learn to be by yourself. People have to learn how to be alone. I don't understand all these people. Oh I need somebody. Lord, where's my man? Lord, where's my woman? That is crazy as hell. If you don't know how to be by yourself, what are you gonna do with somebody else? Stop praying about it! Shut up and wait! Go work on YOU. Hell, that's what that time is for, to get yourself together.



You would be surprised the things that people put up with just to have somebody to say they love them. That's crazy. I don't understand it. I can't live in dysfunction. I'm sorry. I've been through too much, been through too much hell and high water to come there and let you come up in my adult life when I'm supposed to be at peace and give me all kinds of hell. Only two places on this earth you're gonna have peace, your grave and your house. Now if you wake up in your house and you've got no peace something is wrong.



I'd rather be in a corner by myself with a puppy and a goldfish and be happy than be sitting around with somebody up in my house and I'm wondering what the hell they're there for. 

got to a point and it started sounding like a poem.

Ridiculous! The whole thing takes just about 5 minutes to read. Impatient readers....

Anyway, I have experienced it, what ProverB attempts to prove. Its true. Your brain will have to rev for a second or two to retrieve their middle names in a couple of years, and you thought you could not live without them.....

@YesuWangu well said, so difficult to read these days.
@ProverB, proverbial indeed.

Inspiring and honest testimony...and I can relate to it. I think it's important to do a bit of self-reflection and happy you got the guts to state what a large part of the population is going through and thinking (but won't admit).