I have just been reading a book this past weekend in which the author quotes another writer, I forget his name who says that we are victims of our customs, prejudices and education. The way a man feels about the higher earnings of his wife is not a decision he makes when he sees the wifes payslip. It is the product of all his beliefs, prejudices, education and customs up to that point that shape his emotional reaction in the relationship. Money is a very emotive issue because with it is tied feelings of power or lack of it and whether for good or for ill feelings of self worth in a relationship.

Depending on where and how someone has been raised there are differences on how much weight earning power has on the self worth of a man in a relationship. There are men who see themselves primarily as companions of their wives. By this I mean that without excluding other functions the man sees himself as a friend and partner of his wife. In this case the relationship is more or less equal and a man in this case would not necessarily feel threatened by his wife's higher earnings. On the other hand there are men who see themselves primarily as providers for their wives and family. The man's feeling of self worth is tied to his ability to provide, to be the breadwinner. I think in this latter case the man would feel threatened by the higher earning power of his wife.

I would not be quick to judge this uneasy feeling as inferiority complex. It is just that we are all made differently. There are men who like light skinned women, there are some who like them darker. There are those who like them short, there are those who like them tall. There are those who like them round there are those who like them skinny. I think it is a matter of taste and compatibility. There are men who are compatible with higher earning wives and there are some who are not. Fortunately or unfortunately I am in the latter category.

@Muganda...have just finished the first chapter of Steve Harveys book...Act like a Lady, Think like a Man...Quite an interesting read... I would recommend it all ladies to read...and yes Provide, protect, profess is all women have to understand men are out to do...

But what do options does husband have if wife starts earning higher than him when they are 10 years into the marriage and 3 kids to boot and everything else remaining constant?

Seems you never read the posts where women were abandoning their husbands after being provided for a good education. Watu wasomeshwe na baba zao! Si kwa ubaya.

@MWAFRIKA

Can you answer the query from Mama Wendz?