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Behind the wall of marriage

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aidha		#21 Posted : Wednesday, July 14, 2010 5:46:12 PM
Rank: New-farer Joined: 6/9/2010 Posts: 62		us men we have an attitude of being polygamous and this is affecting our families because even our women are going without checking in the name of rebelling. I am not married yet but i believe if you bring a third party between you and your partner then you are doomed.
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2012		#22 Posted : Wednesday, July 14, 2010 6:13:31 PM
Rank: Elder Joined: 12/9/2009 Posts: 6,592 Location: Nairobi		The problem with this generation is we confuse a wedding for marriage. That's why after the wedding everything goes back to normal, the guy goes back to his 'buddies' and the lady goes back to her 'girlfriends'. You'll need to get new MARRIED friends and cut off some pals completely while keeping others at bay or else your marriage will not survive. If you have a married friend of questionable qualities eg when you did a guys trip to Naivasha he came with Susan instead of mama Carol, huyo cut-off without second thoughts if your marriage is still young. BBI will solve it :)
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smano		#23 Posted : Wednesday, July 14, 2010 6:49:37 PM
Rank: Elder Joined: 12/13/2006 Posts: 2,589		I'm not married but I'm seriously becoming very cynical about the whole thing and wondering whether I'll hack it, like setting yourself up to fail in the belief that you tried but circumstances dictated otherwise... While not all of MK's call - ins might be true, the fact, as @Mukhamba rightly points out, is that these things (and worse) are happening as we type away...@Pondi even gives a shocking but poignant example of the horrors behind the walls... The other day @Muchknow talked about the way it has become sort of cool (not for everyone of course)in Kenyan society to do the wrong thing from drunk driving (did you guys see the email of the accident that happened on Langáta road on 2nd July at 6am, Merc rammed into a lorry and killed all four/five occupants?) to cheating on your partner... I think we are headed the wrong way as a society and something drastic needs to give! BEER IS LIVING PROOF THAT GOD LOVES US AND WANTS US TO BE HAPPY!
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vin		#24 Posted : Wednesday, July 14, 2010 8:03:08 PM
Rank: Member Joined: 1/22/2007 Posts: 337		I think marriage is like a house.You sit and chart a plan with your other half and always leave some room for emotions to run.Never lose your head in a marriage because you will as well lose the marriage. Advice is like snow.The softer it lands the harder is sticks.
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Mtu Biz		#25 Posted : Thursday, July 15, 2010 12:12:41 PM
Rank: Veteran Joined: 1/16/2007 Posts: 1,320		Oh brother! What a thread.... what a generation. We claim to have answered all the questions, then turn around and ask them all over again. With all the pop psychology out there and all the information on five steps to improve this and ten steps for a better that, we are not any better than the animals. We will be ever learning but never coming to acknowledge the TRUTH. I exhort you to ask the right questions... what are the right questions ? The big ones! If you do not get the big questions right, the small questions will baffle you. Ask yourself.. Why are we here in the first place ? Where did we come from? Where are we going? Is there life after death? Where are the answers ? What is the TRUTH? The moment you drop your act and start a serious pursuit of truth, you will find it. Sola Scriptura
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atiriri		#26 Posted : Thursday, July 15, 2010 1:37:17 PM
Rank: Member Joined: 12/7/2009 Posts: 320 Location: nairobi		@Vin Before you try it, you may think it is as easy as ABCD. Know that these are two different people raised by different parents in different environment. They have decided to stay together when they are already adults. Adults whom you cant change.
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The Real Shaft		#27 Posted : Thursday, July 15, 2010 1:45:15 PM
Rank: Veteran Joined: 11/19/2008 Posts: 839		marriage... like life... is what you make it to be.... a. If you are not ready to commit yourself.... then do not ask your partner to remain faithful... b. if you want want an adulterous marriage... then be ready to share your matrimonial bed.... c. if you want a lasting relationship... you know what not to do.... d. if you want to whine about everything... then do not use your wife as an excuse.... e. if you do not want to have children... then do not make babies..... it is quite simple.... but DO NOT use other people.... as your excuse... BE MORE RESPONSIBLE..... I'm the real Massey Fergu...... Shut your mouth....
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xyzee		#28 Posted : Thursday, July 15, 2010 3:07:23 PM
Rank: Veteran Joined: 1/9/2009 Posts: 1,262		Marriage has 4 stages....4 Ds of marriage 1. Dream Mostly when dating and the first years of marriage. This is the time when love is at it's peak. also known as 'HONEY MOON STAGE' 2. Drama Honey moon is over reality checks in. you begin to notice things about your partner that you dont quite agree with. boredom checks in, spending time with your boys/girls is more interesting than being with your mate. MOST RELATIONSHIPS/MARRIAGES BREAK AT THIS POINT Mpango wa kando also starts here. 3. Discovery You begin to understand your man/woman. e.g maybe the reason he preferes spending time with the boyz is because iam always nagging him about this or the other etc......... Hence a change in atitude/approach OR some times you realize you have kids together hence separation may not be a good option. SOME WILL CHOOSE TO CHANGE THEIR ATITUDE HANCE PROGRESS TO THE NEXT STAGE, BUT SOME DECIDE TO LIVE WITH THE PROBLEM, HENCE LIVE AN AVERAGE LIFE NEITHER HAPPY NOR SAD JUST THERE.. 4. Destiny You fall in love again only that this time you are wiser and will be able to avoid certain mistakes.....AND YOU LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER Have you noticed that most of our grandparents/parents are happy with each other? MARRIAGE CAN BE ENJOYABLE IF YOU ARE WILLING TO WORK YOUR WAY THROUGH TO 'DESTINY' AND BY THE WAY IT DOESN'T HAVE TO TAKE 30 YEARS EVEN 5 YEARS IS POSSIBLE
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XSK		#29 Posted : Thursday, July 15, 2010 4:44:01 PM
Rank: Veteran Joined: 12/8/2009 Posts: 975 Location: Nairobi		xyzee wrote: Marriage has 4 stages....4 Ds of marriage 1. Dream Mostly when dating and the first years of marriage. This is the time when love is at it's peak. also known as 'HONEY MOON STAGE' 2. Drama Honey moon is over reality checks in. you begin to notice things about your partner that you dont quite agree with. boredom checks in, spending time with your boys/girls is more interesting than being with your mate. MOST RELATIONSHIPS/MARRIAGES BREAK AT THIS POINT Mpango wa kando also starts here. 3. Discovery You begin to understand your man/woman. e.g maybe the reason he preferes spending time with the boyz is because iam always nagging him about this or the other etc......... Hence a change in atitude/approach OR some times you realize you have kids together hence separation may not be a good option. SOME WILL CHOOSE TO CHANGE THEIR ATITUDE HANCE PROGRESS TO THE NEXT STAGE, BUT SOME DECIDE TO LIVE WITH THE PROBLEM, HENCE LIVE AN AVERAGE LIFE NEITHER HAPPY NOR SAD JUST THERE.. 4. Destiny You fall in love again only that this time you are wiser and will be able to avoid certain mistakes.....AND YOU LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER Have you noticed that most of our grandparents/parents are happy with each other? MARRIAGE CAN BE ENJOYABLE IF YOU ARE WILLING TO WORK YOUR WAY THROUGH TO 'DESTINY' AND BY THE WAY IT DOESN'T HAVE TO TAKE 30 YEARS EVEN 5 YEARS IS POSSIBLE xyzee This seems more of a dream than reality...Challenges never stop. You will know that you have arrived when money and time are not mutually exclusive "events" in you life!
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xyzee		#30 Posted : Thursday, July 15, 2010 5:52:36 PM
Rank: Veteran Joined: 1/9/2009 Posts: 1,262		@XSK Agreed challenges never stop however you will have grown wiser and more in sync with each other, so you can handle them in a better way.
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