@Mukiha, maybe you didn't read my post on page 1, it links to the one on the Page 2

You think you know much an african man

@Gathinga..how does one deal with the roving eye lol. When i was in high school i loved this song "Can you be reach and be ghetto" What to me translated is that can you be successful and still be cool and live the life so to speak as opposed to being stuck up with a stiff upper lip.

I did my undergrad in the US and my post grad here..in other words been there done that, what you see on movies bout US colleges is all true, the parties, orgies, drugs.. Having said that i feel i lived my youth to the fullest as the Bible tells us, and quite frankly nothing seems to surprise or shock me. One thing i learnt all what you see out there is the same, just packaged differently...more often than not you will get disappointed.

Meanwhile Darth Vader (George Osborne) strikes again..in the budget Capital Gains tax has risen to 28% WTF!!!

Many years ago there lived a priest who was deeply committed to his faith and would pray diligently every morning. One day a stray cat wandered into the parish compound where the priest was deep in prayer and the cat, seeking warmth, began to rub against the priest distracting him from prayer. This went on for a few days until the priest decided to buy a leash for the cat. So when the cat came into the compound the priest would tether the cat to the leash and continue with his prayers.

After a couple of years, the priest was getting on and a new priest came to the parish to take over from the older priest. They prayed together every morning and the cat without fail was at the compound tethered to the leash. The younger priest never questioned the presence of the cat during the morning prayers.

Soon thereafter the elderly priest died and the younger priest took over the running of the parish. He too prayed every morning and the cat came and was tethered to the leash.

Unfortunately the cat also died and the young priest wishing to carry on with tradition went out and bought another cat, tethered it to the leash and continued with the morning prayers.

This anecdote illustrates some of the beliefs we carry forward from yesteryear without thought. We end up embracing them because we found those before us doing the same. The few that question these beliefs are often told it’s our culture or it’s our tradition. More often than not this is because the real reasons these beliefs came to be were lost along the way.

I think we seriously need to have a long hard look at the institution of marriage in light of the ever changing environment that we now live in. Just like the world today where you either innovate or die, the same can be said for the notion of marriage.

@theman19000

I agree with you kiasi. Marriage in the 21st century is all about innovate or die.

Women have graduated from mere baby-making machines and glorified domestic servants with a gold wedding band.
I wasn't always a "model hubby" until the Msotress was hospitalized for a couple of months. I learned first hand what it means being a mother juggling a household, a small business and four kids (the fourth kid being me! ).

It's unfortunate that we men don't realize what we've got till we lose it. I count myself a trillion times lucky.

IMHO, men need to evolve like yesterday. Kikuyu men, especially. Despite being half kyuk, must admit my brothers in nyumba need a miracle of Red Sea proportions.

Marriage Tips.
1. Is marriage forever?
Yes. Marriage should be forever. It is a lifetime covenant. Think before you enter into it. If you try marriage, you will live in trials. When you commit to marriage you will live in comfort.

2. Marriage is hard work. Work it out.
Marriage is not a bed of roses. Even if it was, roses have thorns. Marriage is hard work. Unless you work it out, nothing works.

3. It is OK to be angry; and you may sometimes go to bed mad (and may even wake up madder). But don’t let anger cloud your thinking and love. Remember, you may cause your partner to be mad.

4. You will go without sex — sometimes for a long time — and that's okay.
Marriage is not just for sex! Sex is very good in marriage, But you can go without it for long if circumstances demand so. E.g. in sickness, pregnancy etc. So don't demand it!

5. Don’t always demand to have your way; Find the best way to go together.
No one knows it all. It is said that an average person is wrong 50% of the time. If you are wrong 50% of the time, how dare think the other person is wrong.

6. A great marriage doesn't mean no conflict; It simply means a couple keeps trying to get it right. In my language we say that: two axes in the same bag must collide. But they shouldn’t destroy each other.

7. Don’t try to change the other person. Change yourself first.
Never attempt to change the other person. Change yourself first. The other partner is a true reflection you.

8. Share fears and insecurities together, your partner is your mate and helper.
Everyone needs help at some point. Help each other. Marriage is not a sprint. It is a long and tedious journey. Walk together and help each other along the way.

To all the men: Words that women use

Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don ' t Do It!
5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men.. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6. That ' s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That ' s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you ' re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says ' Thanks a lot ' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ' you ' re welcome ' . that will bring on a ' whatever ' ).
8. Whatever: Is a woman ' s way of saying F-- YOU!
9. Don ' t worry about it, I ' ll do it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ' What ' s wrong? ' For the woman ' s response refer to # 3.

Don't start with the accusations. I might be tempted to add that "honestly,most women treat their men very badly..it makes me shudder to imagine the kind of wives that roam our streets. Seriously consider such..you never know,it would save many a home in crisis."
theman192000, great story. I'll have to quote it sometime to show my "wisdom"

Much Know I agree with every word you write! Ukweli mtupu!! Our society is becoming effeminate and while it may not be illegal or even immoral to some it disgusts me. Take the insistence for one on telling your wife and your children that you love them. What kind of people have we become that you will not know until you are told. I think it is a good and desirable thing for parents to love each other and their children as well but different people love differently and communicate it differently too. Personally the words "I love you" are reserved for particular moments of intense emotional connection. I do not need to hear the words to know whether I am loved or not and I protest that there are some who think that just because because you don't say it you don't love. How many other things are we supposed to say, I am breathing, my heart is beating, my blood is flowing, I am alive, I am awake etc.

I also get the feeling that there is a lot of public display of affection that is intended for third parties. People behaving while imagining themselves to be on stage or on TV. It is important for some people to make others believe that they are in love or are in a loving relationship. This is not love but a show.

If you love someone there are a million and one ways of communicating that to them and while saying "I love you" is one of them it is not the only way neither is it superior to any other ways. Do not prescribe it to us who are not accostomed to it.

On the issue of children. I strongly believe children will know when they are loved. The language of love is universal. While some may wish to verbalise their feelings by saying the words there are many who are content to just let the feeling be and fill the air and I do not think children of the latter are worse off for it.