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love and desire..????
savant
#11 Posted : Monday, April 30, 2012 2:44:39 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 4/1/2008
Posts: 104
Location: Nairobi
@essyk

Careful not to confuse Eros (romantic love) with Venus (sex).

For the sake of clarity, i would prefer to classify Eros as distinct from sexuality/ sexual activity. Eros longs for the emotional connection with the other person. Venus on the other hand desires the sexual aspect of a relationship.

In a healthy love male-female relationship, the two go hand in hand. Where there is Eros love, Venus love will naturally spring up.

I agree that you can desire (want sexually) someone you do not love. But this is where the problem begins and the confusion sets in.
Later when you want that emotional connection, you'll most likely fail miserably trying to get from Venus (sex) to Eros (emotional connection). As most women and some men (@dunkang perhaps? smile ) have found out. You'll end up getting jaded about 'love' when what they were really engaging in was unrestrained desire i.e. lust (as acted upon through sex).

But how can i love if i don't desire?
I believe the 'desire' you're talking about here is basic attraction i.e. a certain appeal or lure about the person that make you want to get to know them better, on a deeper more than skin-deep level. Hence leading to Eros love which is relational.



Généralement, les gens qui savant peu parlent becoup, et les gens qui savant beaucoup parlent peu.
- Rousseau.
savant
#12 Posted : Monday, April 30, 2012 2:57:13 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 4/1/2008
Posts: 104
Location: Nairobi
@dunkang
Hmmm.... Pessimistic and mocking as you may make yourself out to be, you my dear, have brought in an altogether different (and most important) aspect of love. And that is Agape love -the love that brings forth caring regardless of the circumstance. This is seen as the greatest of loves - a specifically Christian virtue.

So, you're not as far from God as we would all be inclined to think. Keep seeking, questioning, reasoning and you'll find Love.
Généralement, les gens qui savant peu parlent becoup, et les gens qui savant beaucoup parlent peu.
- Rousseau.
danas10
#13 Posted : Monday, April 30, 2012 2:58:31 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 10/8/2010
Posts: 763
Location: Intersection
savant wrote:
@essyk

Careful not to confuse Eros (romantic love) with Venus (sex).

For the sake of clarity, i would prefer to classify Eros as distinct from sexuality/ sexual activity. Eros longs for the emotional connection with the other person. Venus on the other hand desires the sexual aspect of a relationship.

In a healthy love male-female relationship, the two go hand in hand. Where there is Eros love, Venus love will naturally spring up.

I agree that you can desire (want sexually) someone you do not love. But this is where the problem begins and the confusion sets in.
Later when you want that emotional connection, you'll most likely fail miserably trying to get from Venus (sex) to Eros (emotional connection).
As most women and some men (@dunkang perhaps? smile ) have found out. You'll end up getting jaded about 'love' when what they were really engaging in was unrestrained desire i.e. lust (as acted upon through sex).

But how can i love if i don't desire?
I believe the 'desire' you're talking about here is basic attraction i.e. a certain appeal or lure about the person that make you want to get to know them better, on a deeper more than skin-deep level. Hence leading to Eros love which is relational.





My thoughts too...and that's why finding real love is like chasing the wind.
Impunity
#14 Posted : Tuesday, May 01, 2012 6:51:58 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 3/2/2009
Posts: 26,331
Location: Masada
There is nothing like love, its all summed up to "INFATUATION"
Portfolio: Sold
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.

Drobos fly
#15 Posted : Tuesday, May 01, 2012 8:01:39 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 4/24/2012
Posts: 331
Location: Vantage point
savant wrote:


True love doesn't easily give up on you or the things they hold dear, It's hard for them to lose faith but instead they're always hopeful and so can endure even through the most difficult circumstances.

We're all human so we may fail on many accounts on the above. The trick is to look at the general trend of the person's actions towards you. For love is concrete! It's expressed in the person's words & actions. It is a choice, not some mystical, amorphous thing in the air.




I so totally agree. If most present day marriages round the world had that mentioned ingredient then divorce would not be so eye catching in the present age.
Ms Mkenya
#16 Posted : Wednesday, May 02, 2012 11:54:50 AM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 5/13/2010
Posts: 869
Location: Nairobi
Love is a decision, largely. Desire (assuming of the sexual kind) is just that. An intense longing for another person.
....above all, to stand.
Rahatupu
#17 Posted : Wednesday, May 02, 2012 4:43:16 PM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 12/4/2009
Posts: 1,982
Location: matano manne
Kusadikika wrote:
Desire is what attracts you to her before you have slept with her. Love is what holds you together after you have slept with her....... a few times.

Applause Applause Applause
sparkly
#18 Posted : Thursday, May 03, 2012 8:10:17 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 9/23/2009
Posts: 8,083
Location: Enk are Nyirobi
Desire is an instinct, an hunger, a need for physical satisfaction. Love is a choice, a luxury.

Desire is like eating Ugali and Sukumawiki, basic and satisying.

Love is taking champagne and caviar. In addition to filling your stomach you get an emotional kick out of it.

Further references: Maslows pyramid of needs. Sex is basic (bottom of pyramid) together with shelter and food while friendship and relationships are in the third level.
Life is short. Live passionately.
YoungMulla
#19 Posted : Thursday, May 03, 2012 11:52:24 AM
Rank: Member

Joined: 3/14/2012
Posts: 577
Location: Nairobi Kenya
McReggae wrote:


Make money.....then you will enjoy all the fine things in life!!!


Applause Applause Applause Applause
Before I die - i will touch the sky!!
kayhara
#20 Posted : Saturday, December 01, 2018 1:42:59 PM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 5/5/2011
Posts: 1,059
The heart eats what it wants, I feel mine asking for something or someone, that feeling that turns Kings into vagabond, it's like a heartache, with the hear skipping beats with every thought of the intended victim of Cupid, a heart attack when you see them or hear their voice, you feel fear but it's not fear, someone has tripped and is falling into love, stupid love, but then again, Gikuyu said the heart eats what it wants.
To Each His Own
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