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Rank: Veteran Joined: 11/12/2009 Posts: 925
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A man walks up to a woman in his office and tells her that her hair smells nice. The woman immediately goes into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit and explains why. The supervisor is puzzled by this and says, "What's wrong with the coworker telling you your hair smells nice?" The woman replies, "He's a midget. 
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Rank: Member Joined: 4/30/2010 Posts: 241
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A kyuk walks into the Accounts office and says 'What is the meaning of this. I have been paid Kshs 200 less than what was decided upon.' The Accountant replies 'I know about it, but you did not complain when we paid Ksh 200 extra by mistake last month.' The kyuk snaps back 'Yeah, I can bear with occasional mistakes but when you make it a habit I think I need to report.' ukiona choo kwa ndoto usiingie, ni mtego!
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Rank: Elder Joined: 2/7/2007 Posts: 11,935 Location: Nairobi
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....Hii Callaspade bure kabisa  ...Who was harassing who here? Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
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Rank: New-farer Joined: 2/12/2010 Posts: 78 Location: nairobi
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A certain rich businessman in Nairobi had a very beautiful daughter, who fell in love
with a guy who was a cleaner. When the girl's father came to know
about
their love,
he did not like it at all, and so began to protest about it.
Now it happened that the two lovers decided to leave their homes for a
happy future.
The girl's father started searching for the two lovers but could not
find them.
At last, he accepted their love and asked them to come back home in a
local newspaper. Her father said "If you both come back I will allow
you to marry the guy you love, I accept that you loved each other
truly."
So in this way, their love won and they returned home.
The couple went to town to shop for the wedding dress. He was dressed
in white shirt that day. While he was crossing the road to the other
side to get some drinks for his wife, a car came and hit him and he
died on the spot The girl lost her senses. It was only after sometime that
she recovered from her shocked. The funeral and cremation was the very
next day because he had died horribly.
Two nights later, the girl's mother had a dream in which she saw an
old lady. The old lady asked her mother to wash the blood stains of the
guy from her daughter's dress as soon as possible. But her mother
ignored the dream.
The next night her father had the same dream, he also ignored it.
Then when the girl had the same dream the next night, she woke up in
fear and told her mother about the dream. Her mother asked her to wash
the clothes which have blood stains immediately.
She washed the stains but some remained. Next night she again had the
same dream she again washed the stains but some still remained.
Next night she again had the same dream and this time the old lady
gave her a last warning to wash the blood stain, or else something
will happen. This time the girl tried her best to wash the
stains, and the clothes nearly tore, but some stains still remained.
She was very tired.
In the late evening the same day while she was alone at home, someone
knocked @ the door. When she opened the door she saw the same old lady
of her dream standing at her door. She got very scared and fainted.
The old lady woke her up... and gave her a blue box, which shocked the
girl. She asked "What is this...?" The old lady replied...
"Omo Washing powder ... it will remove all stubborn stains!!!"..
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 11/9/2009 Posts: 2,003
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Little Johnny is visiting his Granddad on the farm. He races into
the farmhouse and yells excitedly to his Granddad:
"Hey Granddad, the bull is f***ing the cow".
Granddad informs Johnny that he won't tolerate this sort of
playground language on his farm and that in future if Johnny
wants to inform him about such things he should say something
like "Granddad the bull is surprising the cow."
A few weeks later Johnny is again visiting the farm. Once again
he comes racing in and yells:
"Granddad the bull is surprising the cows."
Granddad says to Johnny: "I'm pleased to hear that after my
conversation with you a few weeks ago you have cleaned up your
language. However, your grammar is not quite correct. It is not
"the bull is surprising the cows". It is "the bull is surprising
the cow". The bull can only surprise one cow at a time".
Johnny replies:
"No Granddad, the bull is surprising all the cows because he's f***ing the horse!"
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Rank: Elder Joined: 2/7/2007 Posts: 11,935 Location: Nairobi
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@Radio, ...I need that stuff you are smoking Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
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Rank: Chief Joined: 8/24/2009 Posts: 5,909 Location: Nairobi
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@ Callaspade, your joke reminded me of this one:
A doctor at a mental institution has spotted one patient ready to be released considering he has become of sound mind, but to finally prove this, he draws a door on the wall, releases all the patients and tells them that they can now run away through the "door"!
All the muguruki's run towards the "door" struggling to open it to exit except the one the doctor had considered to have been of a sound mind. When he was asked, "...and why aren't you running away like the rest of them?". He replies, "They are all stupid!running towards the "door" to escape, yet i'm the one holding the keys!"
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Rank: New-farer Joined: 1/19/2010 Posts: 33 Location: Nairobi
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He he he ROTFLMAO.... nostoppingthis wrote:@ Callaspade, your joke reminded me of this one:
A doctor at a mental institution has spotted one patient ready to be released considering he has become of sound mind, but to finally prove this, he draws a door on the wall, releases all the patients and tells them that they can now run away through the "door"!
All the muguruki's run towards the "door" struggling to open it to exit except the one the doctor had considered to have been of a sound mind. When he was asked, "...and why aren't you running away like the rest of them?". He replies, "They are all stupid!running towards the "door" to escape, yet i'm the one holding the keys!"
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Rank: Elder Joined: 10/1/2009 Posts: 2,436
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Just seen my facebook account and there's a YOU HAVE A FRIEND REQUEST. And there's this grinning guy with a bump on his head requsting to be my friend. Anaitwa Onyancha.Philip Onyancha.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/2/2007 Posts: 8,776 Location: Cameroon
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My oh my! Nostop hiyo kali sana lol! A dude passed by a mental facility n heard the crackheads in there continuously shouting 13...13....13...over n over again. Curiousity got the better of him n he decided to peep thr a hole. Someone suddenly poked his eye fm inside the facility n as he furiously cursed, the tune, much louder n jubiliant than b4, changed to.......14.....14.....14 TULIA.........UFUNZWE!
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