You missed out. His program and the other one about religion that was cancelled were the only programs I could binge watch on CNN.

There are four suicides in the recent past that have shocked me because I thought they had everything, their lives were what most men can only dream of. Bourdain is one.
2. Avicii
3. Robin Williams
4. Chester Bennington

Bourdain also told the therapist about a recurring dream he’s had “for as long as I can remember.”

“I’m stuck in a vast old Victorian hotel with endless rooms and hallways trying to check out, but I can’t,” he said. “I spend a lot of time in hotels, but this one is menacing because I just can’t leave it. And then there’s another part to this dream, always, where I’m trying to go home but I can’t quite remember where that is.”

Regarding his depression, Bourdain brushed off the public’s response. “I’m not going to get a lot of sympathy from people, frankly,” he said on the episode. “I mean, I have the best job in the world, let’s face it. I go anywhere I want, I do what I want. That guy over there loading sausages onto the grill, that’s work. This is not so bad. It’s alright. I’ll make it.”

As much as Bourdain loved his job — which had him traveling about 250 days a year — he often described life on the road as lonely. “I’m living the dream,” Bourdain told People in 2016. “I have the best job in the world and I’m very grateful for that. And I don’t plan on walking away from that any time soon, I can assure you — but it comes at a cost.”

His marriage to Ottavia Busia ended earlier that year with his schedule being partly to blame. “I now wake up alone in lot of faraway places looking at beautiful vistas and doing interesting things,” he said. “But the truth is I’m alone for most of that time.”

Busia and Bourdain are parents to Ariane, now 11. In an interview with the magazine a few months ago, he said he felt “some responsibility” to “at least try to live” for her.

“I also do feel I have things to live for,” Bourdain explained. “There have been times, honestly, in my life that I figured, ‘I’ve had a good run — why not just do this stupid thing, this selfish thing … jump off a cliff into water of indeterminate depth,’” he said, referring to a stunt he did on his Travel Channel show.

Bourdain also scoffed at the idea of retiring.

“I’ve tried. I just think I’m just too nervous, neurotic, driven,” he told People. “I would have had a different answer a few years ago. I might have deluded myself into thinking that I’d be happy in a hammock or gardening. But no, I’m quite sure I can’t.”

He added, “I’m going to pretty much die in the saddle.” In the interview, Bourdain described himself as “happy.”

And I was thinking to myself
'This could be heaven or this could be Hell'
.....
We are all just prisoners here... Of our own device,”
....
“You can check out anytime you like...But you can never leave

Whitney Houston and her child soon thereafter was simply heartbreaking

There's just such a finality with death that I don't get why people commit. Now, what guarantees does Bourdain have that what comes after is better? I know there's an argument that there's nothing after but everything points against that argument, plus what if you find it's worse than what you had here and it's not as easy to get out?