You know yesterday I thought I had started to map my mind. But now all that confidence is gone!

I told Fratello suicide is not honorable because it has no love.

Uncontrallable mind? What's that now?

You know I can't think straight till when I'm calm? But I don't seem to want to be calm.

What? Eti mnioshe na diazinole next time nikicome mbuzi? Hahaha! Hio ni sauti ya nani nimeskia? Ama ni projection?

Gai tycho! Unaprove macritics right!

Hahaha! I don't caaareeeee! I don't ...

But kwa shule ya Kerich, ukisema 'I don't care' unaenda suspension.

Are these thoughts?

Scatter brain.

What is panic?

3 bed bugs! Adam, eve, and Cain! Whaaaaat the fuuuuck!

Do you know how your mind works?

'Now', Pablo is speaking, 'do you have a fumigation policy, or are you going to put yourself on quarantine?' Laughs. 'Kwanza najua wewe saa hii unataka kuniambia uta quarantine world?'

But I'm thinking. Ama niburn kila kitu!

I'm feeling better now. Kwani what has happened? Unajua nilikuwa niki imagine ule jama wa tombs alikuwa na legion. Nini ilifanyika hasaaaa? Ama yeshua alikuwa na map ya mind ya binadamu? Alimcheki tu, then fears zote zika collapse.

Yaaani God amecome na amenismilia? Mimi? Wamabedbugs? Miiiimmmmiiii?

Ilibidi hio negative energy, hio flood ipelekwe kwa mapig.

Leo mind yangu lazima ni iexhaust.

I know why I'm calm now. I have managed to hide the main cause of anxiety. All this talking is about hiding!

Or is it the prospect of meeting Jesus that has calmed me down?

Why am I calm now?

To think is to structure fear. They think most those who fear the most. That's why the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom...

I'm calm because my fear has been structured?

Njenga: What preceded your so called panic attack?

Tycho: Your honor, it was the prospect of fahali wawili kwenye zizi moja.

Njenga: Hmmm... Na hawa fahali wametoka wapi?

Tycho: Emergence your honor. Don't be fooled by randomness.You know everything has gone quantum. It must have been quantum something.

Njenga: Yeah. It must be a quantum something.

Tycho: But I thought the exclusion principle would hold!

Njenga: Are you in love?

Tycho: (Exhales) I can't help but be in some love like thing.

Njenga: Why is that?

Tycho: Can't you see, it's what I've been looking for all this time! (After answering a text message and upraising his existential strategy) And fahali wawili appears to be a threat! Why? Because in the end you lose both!

Njenga: Now how do you know this?

Tycho: The voices in my head are saying. They can't be wrong can they?

Njenga: What if a legion of them are speaking at the same time?

What can calm all voices? A mantra?

Can my mind be totally disinterested? That would mean 'no mind'. But a mind with no thought can be disinterested, no?

Thoughts come in many forms. Many voices. Fantasies are thoughts... maybe 'instances of genetic algorithms'. The scatter brain is about having many competing ideas about diverse but interconnected things.

The biggest problem is that I want to be. And I don't have a good 'how to be, with others' policy/program/system.

The most important thing we learnt the other day, is that the floor will always be with 'leavings'.

Or quietness a form of submission. Remember the 'Keeep quieeet' order from the class monitor?'

I have to come to a conclusion of sorts soon. But there's so much to go through.

Now I know who a 'thinker' refers to even despite all mental activity being 'thinking' in fact.

Do our existences have 'purpose'? How can we know what our respective purposes are, and can we change our purpose(s)?

Like now, I have to change my 'purpose'. My 'motive(s)'. It isn't only God who knows my purpose for existence. I know it, and I create it every day.

What is 'power'? Power is the ability to change/transform/determine purpose.

How many paths are there to power? How do forms of power differ?

http://www.narberthpa.co...sbale_dop/gbtom_patp.pdf