Gazzeti ya kufunga nyama comes in handy

@2012...

c). Other: before starting the "project", first check. If confirmed resource missing, get out, next door kiosk, buy a bottle of water...

Others: Handkerchief. Once pulled that move after being mightily pressed in Nanyuki while on a road trip from Moyale. I quickly downloaded the offending stuff only to realise no tissue, next available option, handkerchief. Yeah, i know, Wazua never forgets and i expect this to come up someday.

you will be reminded one day for sure!!!!

Gazeti can gwara and painfully cause bruises to the nearby beautiful soft lips of the punani.

I remember this episode some 12 years ago, I had decided to head out to Naks to visit my mum and back then Mololines used to be the thing. So on my way to their office huko nyamakima, I passed by a certain restaurant and ate some really nice matumbo! quite something! so tukaenda naks and later that jioni unasikia vitu going wrong and since mwanaume ni mwanaume - you do the needful and move on! the next day morning the same... so went and did one before leaving the house and i knew i was set... Kupanda mololine and sat in my favorite seat... back left..kwa kona. Safari ikaanza.. tukaenda.. kufika huko elementaita...unasikia things are not good... mwanaume ni kujikaza... Gilgil... Mwanaume anaanza kufikiria juu ya distance to Gitaru... BOSS... Mwanaume ni kujikaza... Naivasha ikapita... wacha tuanze hizo milima hapo... mwanaume ameaza ku-tap foot on the floor of the mololine kama anasikiza mziki... I just decided to shout out "Dereva simamisha". I shouted and I continued looking down and I would look at the driver and I would see him looking kwa kio yake checking me out but ameenda kuenda... until another guy shouted

I guess my shout was more of a whimper! Dere akasimamisha and I jumped into the maize farm hapo kando... When I thought I had found a "nice" place... I see a kid walking by and I pretended to be "minding my own business" and continued walking... and then I saw a house... it had one of those pit latrines and so nikasema huko ndio naaenda choo! headed out and shouted HODI! HODI!! there was no one replying... I just decided kama mbaya mbaya... I went into their pit latrine and did my business... oh my... nikamaliza hiyo kazi and then i remembered... I NEEDED SOMETHING ELSE AFTER THAT!! now what? Oh my! I used my handkerchief... it took one for the team! I then made my way back to the Ma3... and everyone was there just looking at me... Dere was like
like I would come back heavy laden...
i am not sure what was going through the heads of my fellow passengers and Nikapanda gari... went to back left kama kawaida and tukaendelea na safari

Had a similar one like @masukuma. Just had nice coma at Dagoretti corner and a few Tusker lites on a rainy afternoon. Baridi ikaingia and didn't have a jacket but guess the Lites did me good. Had to leave earlier than planned after buddies called me in Athi River. Nikaingia Southern bypass at Lena na school and here after beating the mad traffic I feel hizo vitu za @masukuma pressing so hard in a combi with mkojo. By this time heavens had opened especially around the spot where one Juma was dispatched to Makueni. Check on glove box hakuna tissues...drive fast and almost blind coz of the downpour. On Langata road now and relief oh relief! Rafikis pap. Double parked badly and rushed to the gents... they are all occupied. Kucheka ladies iko space and next I'm there. Downloaded faster than 4G. Hakuna maji nor tissue. Sina hankerchif. Ngotha to the rescue.

Same thing happened to me about 17 years ago. Mine was caused by drinking too much milk (I think they call it lactose intolerance) Boss gari ilisimama mara mbili.Nilifika Nax kama nimewacha bro mdogo kwa kiti and run to look for the nearest public toilet. I came back to find my bro who didn't know Naks very well hapo kwa stage where we had alighted. Since then I never drink milk when I know am about to travel.