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Child custody - married parents
Rank: Elder Joined: 3/2/2009 Posts: 26,331 Location: Masada
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tnai9 wrote:Impunity wrote:
I SAID AND REPEAT FOR 1000 TIMES, YOUR FRIEND IS A NERD.
 nerd nərd/ nouninformal noun: nerd; plural noun: nerds; noun: nurd; plural noun: nurds a foolish or contemptible person who lacks social skills or is boringly studious. "one of those nerds who never asked a girl to dance" synonyms: bore; More informaldork, dweeb, Poindexter, nimrod, geek, drip, loser; techie "the nerds running the world's technology are certainly getting the last laugh" a single-minded expert in a particular technical field. "a computer nerd" Ndio hiyo. Portfolio: Sold
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 12/7/2012 Posts: 11,935
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Impunity wrote:tnai9 wrote:Impunity wrote:
I SAID AND REPEAT FOR 1000 TIMES, YOUR FRIEND IS A NERD.
nerd nərd/ nouninformal noun: nerd; plural noun: nerds; noun: nurd; plural noun: nurds a foolish or contemptible person who lacks social skills or is boringly studious. "one of those nerds who never asked a girl to dance" synonyms: bore; More informaldork, dweeb, Poindexter, nimrod, geek, drip, loser; techie "the nerds running the world's technology are certainly getting the last laugh" a single-minded expert in a particular technical field. "a computer nerd" Ndio hiyo.  In the business world, everyone is paid in two coins - cash and experience. Take the experience first; the cash will come later - H Geneen
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/2/2009 Posts: 26,331 Location: Masada
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Angelica _ann wrote:Impunity wrote:tnai9 wrote:Impunity wrote:
I SAID AND REPEAT FOR 1000 TIMES, YOUR FRIEND IS A NERD.
nerd nərd/ nouninformal noun: nerd; plural noun: nerds; noun: nurd; plural noun: nurds a foolish or contemptible person who lacks social skills or is boringly studious. "one of those nerds who never asked a girl to dance" synonyms: bore; More informaldork, dweeb, Poindexter, nimrod, geek, drip, loser; techie "the nerds running the world's technology are certainly getting the last laugh" a single-minded expert in a particular technical field. "a computer nerd" Ndio hiyo. Furthermore: Quote:
con·tempt·i·ble
kənˈtem(p)təb(ə)l/
adjective
deserving contempt; despicable.
"a display of contemptible cowardice"
synonyms:
despicable, detestable, hateful, reprehensible, deplorable, unspeakable, disgraceful, shameful, ignominious, abject, low, mean, cowardly,unworthy, discreditable, petty, worthless, shabby, cheap
Portfolio: Sold
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/28/2015 Posts: 9,562 Location: Rodi Kopany, Homa Bay
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I think it takes a special kind of man to raise another man's kid especially when they know its not their kid. Can you imagine the costs involved such as school fees from nursery to high school? Paying 40k per term from baby class to form 4 will cost you 120,000 per year X 15 years which is 1.8m. And then you add healthcare, food etc etc. The bill might go to over 3m.
This reminds me about the cuckoo bird which doesn't build a nest nor raise its young but rather lays it's eggs in other birds nests and the other birds gets to raise the cuckoo chicks with the cuckoo not incurring any expense at all. Much respect step dads.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/23/2008 Posts: 3,017
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Kweli being a man is ngumu. They are roundly condemned if they don't support their offsprings, and now per this thread, this guy is a beast for trying too hard to support his child and have a relationship with her. Flip this the other way round, what would happen if the X and the husband demanded that the man pays for his daughters upkeep. Would we condemn the man for refusing (assuming he refuses and tells the man that he married the wife and her daughter). How do wazungu do this thing. "The purpose of bureaucracy is to compensate for incompetence and lack of discipline." James Collins
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 5/17/2007 Posts: 1,345
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Obi 1 Kanobi wrote:Kweli being a man is ngumu. They are roundly condemned if they don't support their offsprings, and now per this thread, this guy is a beast for trying too hard to support his child and have a relationship with her.
Flip this the other way round, what would happen if the X and the husband demanded that the man pays for his daughters upkeep. Would we condemn the man for refusing (assuming he refuses and tells the man that he married the wife and her daughter).
How do wazungu do this thing. 
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 11/19/2010 Posts: 1,308 Location: nairobi metropolitan
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Obi 1 Kanobi wrote:Kweli being a man is ngumu. They are roundly condemned if they don't support their offsprings, and now per this thread, this guy is a beast for trying too hard to support his child and have a relationship with her.
Flip this the other way round, what would happen if the X and the husband demanded that the man pays for his daughters upkeep. Would we condemn the man for refusing (assuming he refuses and tells the man that he married the wife and her daughter).
How do wazungu do this thing. There isn't a blanket solution to any issue. For avoidance of doubt, he is only supposed to support the family of his ex girlfriend with their concurence, need or no need. It would be inappropriate if the family of his ex requested for his support to his 'daughter ' and he refused. So it depends, on case by case basis. And by the way @tnai9,considering that your 'friend ' your friend busted his ex with another man, maybe this girl is not his daughter biologically ....the mother might still be guessing who is the father if she had more than one partner. Ya dunia ni mengi  Democracy does not belong to the dead
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Rank: Member Joined: 6/21/2010 Posts: 345 Location: easto
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githundi wrote:There isn't a blanket solution to any issue. For avoidance of doubt, he is only supposed to support the family of his ex girlfriend with their concurence, need or no need. It would be inappropriate if the family of his ex requested for his support to his 'daughter ' and he refused. So it depends, on case by case basis. And by the way @tnai9,considering that your 'friend ' your friend busted his ex with another man, maybe this girl is not his daughter biologically ....the mother might still be guessing who is the father if she had more than one partner. Ya dunia ni mengi That daughter resembles the guy kabisa, seen her photos..plus, the way I know him he may have done a DNA, He is so sure about it. He is capable of anything. "The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence." ― Charles Bukowski
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/23/2008 Posts: 3,017
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The more I think about this the more I am convinced that Tai9's "friend" has a right to access and support his child. The Ex's new hubby new very well that the girl existed before he married her, he should have soughted such issues of the girls father's rights, from the sound of things, he does not trust his wife to relate with the X and is now denying the other man access to his child due to personal reasons and not the girls welfare. May be the courts should settle this, hata mimi I cannot accept another man to tell me when or how or whether I can have access to my child. Its easy to say here that you should keep of another man's marriage but what if its an abusive marriage where your child is being neglected or abused, how will you ever know if you are kept off. In fact @Tnai9, your friend should be very worried that his daughter is living with such a selfish man. "The purpose of bureaucracy is to compensate for incompetence and lack of discipline." James Collins
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 10/29/2008 Posts: 1,566
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Obi 1 Kanobi wrote:The more I think about this the more I am convinced that Tai9's "friend" has a right to access and support his child.
The Ex's new hubby new very well that the girl existed before he married her, he should have soughted such issues of the girls father's rights, from the sound of things, he does not trust his wife to relate with the X and is now denying the other man access to his child due to personal reasons and not the girls welfare.
May be the courts should settle this, hata mimi I cannot accept another man to tell me when or how or whether I can have access to my child.
Its easy to say here that you should keep of another man's marriage but what if its an abusive marriage where your child is being neglected or abused, how will you ever know if you are kept off.
In fact @Tnai9, your friend should be very worried that his daughter is living with such a selfish man. This thread seems more of an hypothetical question thrown our way fowhatever reasons! Having said that, considering the situation I would agree 100% with @ obi. If you have the means and want to give your child the best, nobody should stand in the way. It is in the best interest of the child too. Imagine the situation once the girl comes of age and realises that while you gave your other kids the best of education and other care you did not try hard enough to do the same for her! How do you live with yourself. Wouldnt the Daughter be justified not to express much love to you! Isuni yilu yi maa me muyo - ni Mbisuu
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