Are you planning to be a step father?

@Karoki, when it comes to issues of family, wives, husbands etc, wazua is the wrong place to seek for advise.

Haha
No. I ain't planning on having one, and I am not a father yet. Will take some years.

What I want mostly is the experience,whether if its the father,he treated you any different from the other kids,whether the step extended family recognised you, what efforts the step-parent took to connect with you or you take to connect with the step kid and what you thought has worked best for you in any situation.
Or your general thoughts on such families.

Si usome tu Nation ya leo huyo buda alikua son ya Ntimama ndio umakinike

There was a writer who once said: Expectation is the root of all heartache

Hence why the Marriage Act insisted the first wife should consent before the second one is taken up. Traditionally, expectations were aligned and culture assisted. Even the children generally expected the father to be absent.

In the modern setup, misaligned expectations lead to siblings of billionaires in nasty disagreements, let alone cases of step-children.

Aki Wazuans are so unhelpful

All I can advise is move on and as Muganda implies do not expect anything. You cannot undo the past. Yu cannot choose your brothers or sisters or step brothers or sisters. If there is a good relationship then well and good keep it. If there is none do not go looking for it. If people come looking for you treat them the way you would treat any prospective friends that is if they are a good influence then you keep them as friends if not wachana nao. The trap you do not want to fall in is to let yourself be attached to people who bring nothing but misery in your life just because ni watu wenyu.

When Augustus Ceasar became Emperor of the Roman Empire one of the first things he did was define the boundaries of the Empire. Previously leaders would just conquer and keep expanding. As an adult you need to define the boundaries of your family according to your understanding, relationships and resources. This is not easy. Know who is in and who is out. You may have good friends on the inside and some blood relatives on the outside but make sure it is a decision you can live with.