Life is more complex than the way we think, what is your norm depends on how you have been socialised. What you think is progress can be viewed otherwise.
I have come to realise that a boy brought up in the village and the one brought up in town have different expectations on what is being a man. This happens to be the biggest cause of unhealthy relationships of our generation. Men and women are creatures of socialisation,and woe unto you if you socialise your male new borns to be women or you have been socialised as that.
And what is this love? ..and how is it expressed in men and women? . ..Our understanding of what is love definitely is critical in our expression or perceived expression.
Let me talk about myself and not what ought to be, because what we think ought to be is just that,because each one of us socialise our kids and manages our relationships in what we think will be the best for us and our generations to come. It pisses me when we sometimes preach how we bring up our children as if it is the gospel; as if there is no other way.

Women require affirmation, they need to be told they are loved, whatever love is because it's something nice. They need to be spoilt, once in while.

For me, if love is kindness, don't tell me, show me. . As a man respect and loyalty comes first. .but when we rear a newborn male like a woman, he will definitely require affirmation. .and then it is just lying in the bed we have laid for ourselves.
And then some of us will call it progress...my foot

Good one @gathundi,you have put it right.

A father (male) does not need to be told "I love you", but he needs to be shown, he needs to see it in actions. I do not mean there is anything wrong if you keep telling them. But reserve this to your mother, sister, wife, daughter, aunt etc... You can even tell your mother "I love" you 24 times a day and she will be so happy...

For you to develop self-respecting male boys, you need to start valuing and respecting them... And teach them to be strong willed, good leaders, who can care and protect their families in future etc.

A possible explanation is that we are more white collar than blue collar these days but that said... it's likely that we will out live those fellows... Masculinity Is Killing Men: The Roots of Men and Trauma

Nobody is in disagreement that culture is ever evolving. Will we manage this transition to deliver men from boys instead of women by way of upbringing?,or will we deliver social misfits?.
Which way? Those are the choices we have to make,..

Ihii itithiaga uthoni
Those boys have raised very pertinent issues.
The boy child was neglected and all the focus and resources channeled to girls.
There is inua dada,women fund,women rep but who is fighting for the empowerment of boys.
Girls are mentored in their lives and careers.Who is mentoring the boys?
How is a boy supposed to know what manhood entails.He is supposed to know everything and not being a sissy by asking for guidance.The men who go to maendeleo ya wanaume become laughing stock.Let them go drying.

We are all on the same page here - you guys tend to define masculinity as defined by men in the age that went by. I am not asking people to raise sissies - I am asking men to spend time with their boys. Boys are not weeds that grow untended - how has the current setup worked for us? Central Kenya is full of drunk young men who cannot "do anything for anyone"... who dropped the ball? As for me - I am holding my son's hand as he grows. coz manhood is a journey and step no. 1 is to ensure that he is content with being a man - no need to prove it to anyone. being comfortable in his skin... Males and Men are not synonymous. Men make Men... Men are not weeds. No. 1 thing about being a man is RESPONSIBILITY. That is our culture... dodging that breeds irresponsible men and I agree - Men respond to Respect but that is not the only thing they respond to... it's primary but not the only thing
Did you listen to the video of the kids calling their dads... the dads were pleasantly surprised.... I have been called a coward coz i will not expend my life for causes... i call that being shrewd!! I want my son to grow up knowing what battles to pick and to only pick battles he can win. The rest can raise heroes we shall read about in the papers. Culture is changing but not to a predefined culture.. be like a judoka and use the movement of culture to your advantage ama it will roll over you. The future belongs to our kids - let's figure out a way that they will be winners... p.s. a son looking at their dad and saying -

Will make their dad's day or even week... even if the father always knew that the son loved him and respected him. Let's raise men... not bush men.

Secondly, who says in order for men to be MEN women must be trampled on? It's not a fixed area pie that if one has more - the other one has less. it's a candle with a flame...

tuko twedi sigistini, could you care to explain how boys and girls are brought up differently, I mean what in terms of survival in todays world can a man do that a woman can not, actually I think we should raise our kids the same boys and girls I don't see where the discrimination comes in.

You can't get it...Please don't bring silly feminist views here. Who said there is something a man can do a woman can't?
For avoidance of doubt, I meant boys and girls have to be socialised in a way we will have men and women as end products, I am proponent of equity but not equality,
Otherwise, bring up your girl to become a man or vice versa and please do not complain when they become social misfits such as being attracted to people of same sex..

just wanted to know in 2016 how different boys and girls are raised, sasa matusi ni ya nini.

sasa give an example of how to socialise boys differently than girls, we are learning I might learn something, does it mean you say I love you, or hug your daughter and not your son, do you mean go eat nyam chom with your son and ask your daughter to be in the kitchen, just wanted to know the different social environments in 2016 that would be different between bringing up a boy and a girl.

ni swali tu boss, usisikie offended even if I am a feminist its about tolerance