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Dad... I love you
githundi
#21 Posted : Friday, September 23, 2016 12:27:01 PM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 11/19/2010
Posts: 1,308
Location: nairobi metropolitan
Life is more complex than the way we think, what is your norm depends on how you have been socialised. What you think is progress can be viewed otherwise.
I have come to realise that a boy brought up in the village and the one brought up in town have different expectations on what is being a man. This happens to be the biggest cause of unhealthy relationships of our generation. Men and women are creatures of socialisation,and woe unto you if you socialise your male new borns to be women or you have been socialised as that.
And what is this love? ..and how is it expressed in men and women? . ..Our understanding of what is love definitely is critical in our expression or perceived expression.
Let me talk about myself and not what ought to be, because what we think ought to be is just that,because each one of us socialise our kids and manages our relationships in what we think will be the best for us and our generations to come. It pisses me when we sometimes preach how we bring up our children as if it is the gospel; as if there is no other way.

Women require affirmation, they need to be told they are loved, whatever love is because it's something nice. They need to be spoilt, once in while.

For me, if love is kindness, don't tell me, show me. . As a man respect and loyalty comes first. .but when we rear a newborn male like a woman, he will definitely require affirmation. .and then it is just lying in the bed we have laid for ourselves.
And then some of us will call it progress...my foot
Democracy does not belong to the dead
AlphDoti
#22 Posted : Friday, September 23, 2016 12:29:05 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 6/20/2008
Posts: 6,275
Location: Kenya
masukuma wrote:
AlphDoti wrote:
Is this the reason why men of nowadays are turning into boneless, crying, weak sissies?

the culture is changing.... your sons may surprise you. not that the old way of doing things was right and not that the current one is bad... humans change. c'est la vie.

This culture is reason why men are declining. They are becoming weaker emotionally and physically. Nowadays, to see a man whining and complaining is common occurrence... and now crying!

A research cited that "...attribute three negative characteristics to the modern male:"

1. Lack of courage: (already @masukuma exhibits this)
2. Fear of rejection
3. Absence of chivalry

One of the reason researchers have found out is due to lack of a strong male role model. I think those male supporting this "feminism" of male are trying to justify their doing bad job being parents of today ...

AlphDoti
#23 Posted : Friday, September 23, 2016 12:54:54 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 6/20/2008
Posts: 6,275
Location: Kenya
githundi wrote:
Life is more complex than the way we think, what is your norm depends on how you have been socialised. What you think is progress can be viewed otherwise.
I have come to realise that a boy brought up in the village and the one brought up in town have different expectations on what is being a man. This happens to be the biggest cause of unhealthy relationships of our generation. Men and women are creatures of socialisation,and woe unto you if you socialise your male new borns to be women or you have been socialised as that.
And what is this love? ..and how is it expressed in men and women? . ..Our understanding of what is love definitely is critical in our expression or perceived expression.
Let me talk about myself and not what ought to be, because what we think ought to be is just that,because each one of us socialise our kids and manages our relationships in what we think will be the best for us and our generations to come. It pisses me when we sometimes preach how we bring up our children as if it is the gospel; as if there is no other way.

Women require affirmation, they need to be told they are loved, whatever love is because it's something nice. They need to be spoilt, once in while.

For me, if love is kindness, don't tell me, show me. . As a man respect and loyalty comes first. .but when we rear a newborn male like a woman, he will definitely require affirmation. .and then it is just lying in the bed we have laid for ourselves.
And then some of us will call it progress...my foot

Good one @gathundi,you have put it right. Applause Applause

A father (male) does not need to be told "I love you", but he needs to be shown, he needs to see it in actions. I do not mean there is anything wrong if you keep telling them. But reserve this to your mother, sister, wife, daughter, aunt etc... You can even tell your mother "I love" you 24 times a day and she will be so happy...

For you to develop self-respecting male boys, you need to start valuing and respecting them... And teach them to be strong willed, good leaders, who can care and protect their families in future etc.
AlphDoti
#24 Posted : Friday, September 23, 2016 12:56:27 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 6/20/2008
Posts: 6,275
Location: Kenya
I found this hilarious:

Quote:
Forget “what would Jesus do“. Turning the other cheek is weak. If you do what the church says you’ll get slapped in the mouth and then run away and cry on your girlfriends shoulder while she dreams of a stronger man ravaging her.
masukuma
#25 Posted : Friday, September 23, 2016 12:57:19 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 10/4/2006
Posts: 13,823
Location: Nairobi
AlphDoti wrote:
masukuma wrote:
AlphDoti wrote:
Is this the reason why men of nowadays are turning into boneless, crying, weak sissies?

the culture is changing.... your sons may surprise you. not that the old way of doing things was right and not that the current one is bad... humans change. c'est la vie.

This culture is reason why men are declining. They are becoming weaker emotionally and physically. Nowadays, to see a man whining and complaining is common occurrence... and now crying!

A research cited that "...attribute three negative characteristics to the modern male:"

1. Lack of courage: (already @masukuma exhibits this)
2. Fear of rejection
3. Absence of chivalry

One of the reason researchers have found out is due to lack of a strong male role model. I think those male supporting this "feminism" of male are trying to justify their doing bad job being parents of today ...


A possible explanation is that we are more white collar than blue collar these days but that said... it's likely that we will out live those fellows... Masculinity Is Killing Men: The Roots of Men and Trauma
All Mushrooms are edible! Some Mushroom are only edible ONCE!
masukuma
#26 Posted : Friday, September 23, 2016 1:05:52 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 10/4/2006
Posts: 13,823
Location: Nairobi
As I said... it's all cultural... how were were socialized - is it changing? YES!! will you as a dad be more in touch with your feelings that your dad.. YES!! (you know that to be true). Our parents were not perfect beings - they did their best. The problem here is that we think how things are being done is the only way things have always been done or will ever be done. Our goggles mask us from seeing anything else - but it's expected... it's similar to other hardcoded elements of our culture... of course it won't change now... but change it will MPENDE MSIPENDE. you can shout all you want about days when the man was king... all my kyuk boys can listen to this, I remember this...

and
All Mushrooms are edible! Some Mushroom are only edible ONCE!
githundi
#27 Posted : Friday, September 23, 2016 2:52:02 PM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 11/19/2010
Posts: 1,308
Location: nairobi metropolitan
masukuma wrote:
As I said... it's all cultural... how were were socialized - is it changing? YES!! will you as a dad be more in touch with your feelings that your dad.. YES!! (you know that to be true). Our parents were not perfect beings - they did their best. The problem here is that we think how things are being done is the only way things have always been done or will ever be done. Our goggles mask us from seeing anything else - but it's expected... it's similar to other hardcoded elements of our culture... of course it won't change now... but change it will MPENDE MSIPENDE. you can shout all you want about days when the man was king... all my kyuk boys can listen to this, I remember this...

and

Nobody is in disagreement that culture is ever evolving. Will we manage this transition to deliver men from boys instead of women by way of upbringing?,or will we deliver social misfits?.
Which way? Those are the choices we have to make,..
Democracy does not belong to the dead
AlphDoti
#28 Posted : Friday, September 23, 2016 3:11:02 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 6/20/2008
Posts: 6,275
Location: Kenya
masukuma wrote:
As I said... it's all cultural... how were were socialized - is it changing? YES!! will you as a dad be more in touch with your feelings that your dad.. YES!! (you know that to be true). Our parents were not perfect beings - they did their best. The problem here is that we think how things are being done is the only way things have always been done or will ever be done. Our goggles mask us from seeing anything else - but it's expected... it's similar to other hardcoded elements of our culture... of course it won't change now... but change it will MPENDE MSIPENDE. you can shout all you want about days when the man was king... all my kyuk boys can listen to this, I remember this...

and

@masukuma, and this is the issue. The sissy "Men" are copying and moving with the wind thinking this is the best way... Look at this.

Quote:
Television, Movies, Music, Magazines – Every piece of entertainment media depicts men as bumbling idiots and women as the wise and strong leaders. Media teaches us that all women “deserve” happiness whatever the cost and men are the pawns to achieve that. That’s great for fantasy world but that isn’t reality.

The problem is that most people cannot tell fictional TV apart from reality and act accordingly. If the man acted like an effete loser in the movie and got the girl then maybe it will work for me. There are almost zero masculine men in entertainment media. And when masculine men do appear it’s as a redneck wife beater or a rapist or something equally stupid.
PeterReborn
#29 Posted : Friday, September 23, 2016 3:26:50 PM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 1/3/2014
Posts: 1,063
masukuma wrote:
As I said... it's all cultural... how were were socialized - is it changing? YES!! will you as a dad be more in touch with your feelings that your dad.. YES!! (you know that to be true). Our parents were not perfect beings - they did their best. The problem here is that we think how things are being done is the only way things have always been done or will ever be done. Our goggles mask us from seeing anything else - but it's expected... it's similar to other hardcoded elements of our culture... of course it won't change now... but change it will MPENDE MSIPENDE. you can shout all you want about days when the man was king... all my kyuk boys can listen to this, I remember this...

and

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Ihii itithiaga uthoni
Those boys have raised very pertinent issues.
The boy child was neglected and all the focus and resources channeled to girls.
There is inua dada,women fund,women rep but who is fighting for the empowerment of boys.
Girls are mentored in their lives and careers.Who is mentoring the boys?
How is a boy supposed to know what manhood entails.He is supposed to know everything and not being a sissy by asking for guidance.The men who go to maendeleo ya wanaume become laughing stock.Let them go drying.
Consistency is better than intensity
masukuma
#30 Posted : Friday, September 23, 2016 3:33:08 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 10/4/2006
Posts: 13,823
Location: Nairobi
AlphDoti wrote:
masukuma wrote:
As I said... it's all cultural... how were were socialized - is it changing? YES!! will you as a dad be more in touch with your feelings that your dad.. YES!! (you know that to be true). Our parents were not perfect beings - they did their best. The problem here is that we think how things are being done is the only way things have always been done or will ever be done. Our goggles mask us from seeing anything else - but it's expected... it's similar to other hardcoded elements of our culture... of course it won't change now... but change it will MPENDE MSIPENDE. you can shout all you want about days when the man was king... all my kyuk boys can listen to this, I remember this...

and

@masukuma, and this is the issue. The sissy "Men" are copying and moving with the wind thinking this is the best way... Look at this.

Quote:
Television, Movies, Music, Magazines – Every piece of entertainment media depicts men as bumbling idiots and women as the wise and strong leaders. Media teaches us that all women “deserve” happiness whatever the cost and men are the pawns to achieve that. That’s great for fantasy world but that isn’t reality.

The problem is that most people cannot tell fictional TV apart from reality and act accordingly. If the man acted like an effete loser in the movie and got the girl then maybe it will work for me. There are almost zero masculine men in entertainment media. And when masculine men do appear it’s as a redneck wife beater or a rapist or something equally stupid.

what movies have you been watching. The last couple of movies I have seen have been very masculine. Captain America, the pursuit of happiness, Chef, the Revenant e.t.c. granted that there are no movies with crazy mumbling women. Flicks with masculinity are all over the place
All Mushrooms are edible! Some Mushroom are only edible ONCE!
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